"It's freezing," Jessie said and slammed the door.

Chris started the engine and turned the heater on. She turned to Jessie who was still looking out the window towards the house.

"Are you okay?"

"She's not what I expected."

"What do you mean?"

"She's prettier than I remembered. She looks younger, even. She used to look so tired all the time, she used to walk so slowly around the house." She turned back and faced Chris. "Thank you for staying, for being there. I know you only did it for Annie but I was glad you were there."

 Chris cringed at her earlier words, knowing they were a lie. She didn't only do it for Annie. She wanted to explain to Jessie, but now wasn't the time.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not very good at apologies... or thank you's," Jessie continued. "Sincere ones, anyway."

"You don't owe me explanations, Jessie."

"Of course I do. If I'd never met you, I wouldn't be here today. I'd have run back to New York and stayed. And continued with my so-called life."

"What about tomorrow? Will you be okay?"

"I think so. She's right. We both need some time."

"Annie is a fine lady, Jessie. Give her a chance."

Jessie met her eyes and did not look away. "I hope she gives me a chance. I'm the one who left. I'm the one who practically threatened her life when I left."

Chris drove away finally, not knowing what else to say. They were silent on the return trip and Chris drove to Jessie's cabin, parking beside the rental car, this time a four-wheel-drive SUV.

"Thank you again, Chris. I do appreciate it."

"No problem," Chris said.

"Do you want to come in?"

Their eyes met briefly, then Chris looked away.

"No. I've got some stuff to do," Chris said. She tapped the steering wheel lightly with her thumbs.

"Okay, McKenna. Maybe some other time?"

Jessie made no move to get out. She didn't want to be alone, but she wasn't going to beg Chris to stay.

"Supposed to snow tonight. Do you have any firewood?" Chris asked.

"There's a little on the porch. I guess Mary Ruth had some put there."

"The lodge sells it, if you need more. And I've got plenty. You're welcome to some of that," Chris offered.

"Thanks."

"Well, listen, I need to get going," Chris said again.

"Of course." Jessie opened the door and stepped out into the cold.

Chris raised one hand as she drove away. She knew Jessie wanted her to stay and she had been tempted. But she was worried about Annie. She drove straight back to her house and went in after a light knock.


Annie was still sitting on the sofa, her wineglass full. She raised startled eyes to Chris, then patted the sofa next to her. Chris sat down obediently.

"Explain," Annie said softly.

"I'm so sorry," Chris said.

"Oh, please." Annie dismissed her apology with a wave of her hand. "You came back, like I knew you would." She took her hand and squeezed it. "I know you care about me, Chris. And I know you wouldn't intentionally do something to hurt me. Now, tell me about August."

"I ran into her up on Ridge Trail. I recognized her immediately from the pictures on her books, but I didn't say anything. She was using a phony name. Jennifer Parker. I wanted to tell you, Annie, but I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure she was here to see you and I certainly didn't know what to make of the fake name."

"How long was she here?"

"A couple of weeks, I guess. Maybe three. I don't know how long she was here before I ran into her. We got to know each other a little, had dinner a couple of times. I took her on an overnight backpacking trip and I finally told her that I knew who she was."

"And?"

"And I think maybe Jessie should tell you the rest," Chris said.

Annie studied her for the longest time, finally looking away and sipping from her wine.

"You said she didn't remember her childhood," Annie reminded her.

"She's been seeing a therapist, apparently several different therapists, for awhile now, I guess. I think because she didn't remember, her therapist suggested she come back here." Chris bit her lip, wondering how much to tell Annie. It really wasn't her place to talk about Jack. If Jessie wanted to confess to Annie, that was one thing. But Chris wasn't going to be the one to bring all that to light.

Again Annie watched her.

"There's something you're not telling me."

Chris shook her head.

"I found her up on Ridge Trail that last night she was here, same ledge that Jack fell from. She was just sitting there alone with a blanket and a bottle of wine," she said.

"Dear God, she wasn't going to jump?"

"No, Annie. But she had been crying when I found her and we... talked some. That's the last time I saw her. Until today. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, Annie, but she was already gone. What good would it have done then?"

"Chris, it's okay. I'm not angry with you," she said. She filled their wineglasses again. "I guess I'm still in shock. I really never expected to see her again, much less talk to her. She has changed, though. She looks softer, somehow. She was a very bitter teen. And her books are so dark, even her picture on the back. But the woman I saw today wasn't the same woman in the pictures."

"No. I think maybe that woman is gone," Chris said. "But she has a lot to talk about, Annie. And she may say some things that you don't want to hear."

Annie reached over and patted Chris's knee.

"I'll be fine. I just don't want to end up in one of her books, you know?"

Chris laughed, then stopped when she realized Annie was serious.

She left a short time later, after hauling enough logs inside for a couple of fires and stacking more on the back deck. The snow was still light, barely sticking, but the temperature had dropped into the twenties already and the wind howled through the trees as she walked to her Jeep. Snow by morning, for sure.


Chapter Twenty-nine

Jessie rolled over and glanced at the clock. Nine-twenty already. She closed her eyes and pulled the covers to her chin, trying to ward off die chill that had settled in the cabin. She could not get to sleep the night before and only after drinking an entire bottle of wine did sleep come. Her thoughts alternated between Annie and Chris. She should feel relieved that she was finally going to talk to Annie, to get everything out in the open, but she couldn't get Chris off her mind. The attraction she felt for Chris was completely foreign to her and she didn't know exactly what to do about it. But did it matter? Any feelings that Chris may have had for her were surely killed that night on the ledge. Anyway, it was probably best left alone. Who knew what was going to happen? Even if she and Annie talked and cleared the air, then what? She would most likely return to New York and her empty apartment and try to make a life there. But she didn't want to go to New York. She didn't belong there. She wasn't certain she belonged anywhere.

She suddenly remembered the snowfall of the night before. She threw off the blankets and hurried to the window and the sight outside her bedroom took her breath away. How many years since she'd seen anything this beautiful? Branches heavy with snow drooped to the ground, shining bright in the sunlight. Yesterday's wind had stilled and the only sound came from the melting snow as it fell from the trees. A squirrel scampered over die blanket of white and up the cedar tree next to the cabin. She again wished she had a feeder there.

She closed the blinds, conscious of the smile on her face. She didn't bother with clothes, she simply pulled the robe tighter and hurried out the door. She grabbed a handful of snow and brought it to her mouth, laughing out loud as she bit down. She tossed the snow down and looked around, taking in deep breaths of the cold mountain air. Beautiful.

She went back in and showered, then had a bowl of cereal with her coffee. She wished she had gone to the lodge for more firewood, or at least taken Chris up on her offer. She had enough wood left for a small fire this morning, but it wouldn't last long. She made a mental note to pick some up when she was out. Before long, she heard snowplows and knew they would be clearing the side roads as soon as the county roads were done. She was again glad she had rented a four-wheel drive. If a major storm were to hit, they would be unable to keep the roads clear for long.

Jessie broke off the end of a loaf of French bread and scattered it near the cabin so she could watch the jays bicker over it. She settled back on the sofa, an unopened book lying beside her, and watched as a squirrel came up and fought with the jays over the last few remaining bread crumbs. She intended to read and try to relax some before meeting Annie, but an hour later, the book still lay unopened.

It was Chris. She wanted to call her. She still had her cell number. Jessie thought she could call on the pretense that she needed reassurance before she saw Annie. Actually, she just wanted to see her and she hated the fact that the woman had gotten under her skin. She rolled her eyes. This she was not used to. If there was one thing she was used to, though, it was being alone. And she did that very well. Or so she thought.

"Get over it," she said aloud. "McKenna doesn't need you in her life." And she didn't need McKenna, she firmly told herself.

She wore one of the new sweaters that she had bought in New York on her last shopping expedition. She owned little that was suitable for fall or winter in the mountains, so she had spent two whole days buying jeans and sweaters and sweatsuits and even wool socks for hiking. She didn't bother with makeup. Even in the city, she rarely wore much, if any. She brushed her dark hair, then fluffed it in front with her fingers. She met her eyes in the mirror and knew she was nervous. Yesterday, Chris had been there but today, they would have no buffer.