"I'm going to assume you take after your mother."

I laughed. "That's what I'm told."

"Well, you know," Cash said tentatively, "she may not be around to tell you in person, but it seems like the advice you think she'd give is good."

"I know. But it's not the same."

"I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about her if it makes you uncomfortable."

It did, usually. I never let Randy talk about my mom, but with Cash, it was okay. It was easy. Still, I said, "Let's change the subject."

So for the next few minutes, we talked about nothing important — television, a book he'd just finished, our mutual belief that the lunch ladies were trying to poison us. Then, after a while, we fell quiet.

As we walked along Levitt Avenue, a few mothers pushed strollers past us and, across the street, two middle school–aged girls walked side by side, both holding leashes attached to Labrador puppies. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and for a moment I marveled at the fact that I'd planned to spend the day cleaning instead of walking around the neighborhood. Hamilton really was a nice place — a generic suburb, sure, but pretty and friendly. Usually, I was too worried about other things to notice.

I didn't even notice that Cash had taken my hand until we'd reached the next corner. We were almost back to my house, having walked around the whole block, and he'd been holding my hand half the time without my even realizing.

"Lissa," he said slowly. "Look, about Randy and the whole sex thing — "

"Cash, please, it's embarrassing. Let's not — "

"No, just listen for a second." We were standing in front of my house again, and Cash had stopped, using our entwined hands to turn me toward him. "I know you don't want to talk about your…" He cleared his throat. "About what Randy said at Homecoming. But you should know this. The other night, I told you a decent guy wouldn't have done that to you. I didn't just mean embarrassing you in public like that. I meant…"

I stared up at him, our palms still pressed together.

He sighed. "I meant that a decent guy — a smart guy — wouldn't have let something like sex ruin a good thing. A guy with half a brain wouldn't have screwed things up with a girl like you."

"Thanks. That's sweet of you to say."

"I'm serious, Lissa." He lifted his free hand and brushed my cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear. Both of his hands were touching me, and I didn't miss the way my heart sped up just a little. "You're amazing — and he really fucked up."

Amazing. He'd said that at Vikki's party, too. Right before he'd kissed me. Right before he'd broken my heart. I wondered if he meant it this time. If maybe he was trying to tell me something — that he'd been wrong, that he'd made a mistake, that he liked me after all.

"Thank you," I said. "That means a lot."

Cash smiled down at me. Then, after a long moment, he let go of my hand and took a step back. "Well… I should get going. We have a game in an hour — Coach wants us there early."

"Right. I'm glad you came by."

He looked at me a little skeptically. "Really?"

I laughed and smacked him on the arm. "Of course. We're friends, aren't we?"

Cash grinned — that sweet, flirty grin he gave me in the library sometimes when our banter went a little further than I'd intended it to. "I'll see you tomorrow, then." He touched my cheek one last time before turning and walking toward his car.

I tried not to think too much about what Cash had said once I was back inside. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Still, I could feel joy bubbling in my chest, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he'd realized what a mistake he'd made by letting me go.

Chapter nineteen

"Cock tease."

I felt my cheeks flush as one of Randy's football buddies brushed past me in the hall, his words hissing in my ear.

"Hey, assclown," Chloe snapped, whirling around at my side to face the guy's retreating form. "Learn some manners or I'll e-mail the whole high school about how small your dick is — because we both know that I'm aware of exactly how small it is."

"Whore," he muttered, shooting Chloe a filthy glare over his shoulder.

"Ha. You might have better luck with a whore, actually. Me? You couldn't pay me to bang you again. Dick's too minuscule to keep a lady satisfied. Come on, Lissa." She took hold of my wrist and pulled me toward the cafeteria.

It was Monday, my first day back at school since I'd caught Randy with The Blonde, and I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with the lunch situation. I obviously couldn't sit with Randy and Shane and the others. But where would I go? That's where I'd been sitting for more than a year. That's where my friends were.

When we walked into the cafeteria, I seriously considered turning around and going to the library. The Blonde was sitting in Randy's lap at our usual table, and she was grinning from ear to ear — and who could blame her? She was getting attention from the coolest people in the school. From the cutest boy.

From the boy who was supposed to be mine.

"Boys suck," I muttered.

"Not all of them are so bad," Chloe said, dragging me along behind her. "There are a few good ones, I swear."

"Well, introduce me to them, then. Oh, and where are we sitting?"

"Right here."

I glanced around at the occupants of the table Chloe had just led me to. Ellen was beaming up at me, sitting in a chair beside Adam, her boyfriend. I felt my cheeks flush as I counted the people at the table — they were all soccer players or soccer players' girlfriends.

"What are we doing?" I asked Chloe through gritted teeth.

"Neither of us is dating a football player anymore, Lissa. So we don't have to worry about pissing anyone off. Ellen invited us." My new best friend tossed a smile at my old best friend, and a nice full-circle feeling overwhelmed me. Just for an instant.

"Take a seat," Adam said, grinning at me. "Anyone who makes an ass out of Randy Vincent is a friend of mine."

"Actually," I said stiffly, sliding into the chair on the other side of Ellen's, "I think he made the ass out of me."

"Au contraire," Adam argued, pointing a plastic fork in my direction. "While it may have seemed that way in the moment, in

the long run, Randy will be the one to suffer. He revealed to half the female population that he cheats on girls and divulges intimate secrets about his girlfriend to the school at large. So even though it sucked for you, consider your scene at Homecoming a fair and kind warning to the rest of the world. Oh, and most likely, it will keep him from getting laid."

While I doubted that last bit, based on the way The Blonde had been wiggling in Randy's lap when I passed, I didn't argue.

Chloe plopped into the seat on my other side. "Anyone going up to get food?" she asked, jerking her head toward the lunch line.

"I'll go with you," I said, feeling silly about standing up when I'd barely been sitting for five seconds. "Come on."

"Oh, go ahead," Chloe said. "I was just seeing if anyone else was going. Can you get me a Diet Coke? Thanks."

I swatted her arm with the back of my hand. "Lazy ass."

"You love my ass. Don't lie."

"I'll go with you, Lissa," Ellen said, getting to her feet. "I'm actually craving those gross, soggy french fries. I must be losing it."

I laughed a little nervously before following her toward the lunch line. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure why I was still so anxious around her. I mean, we'd attended two slumber parties together in the past two weeks, and we'd talked… a few times. But then again, this was the first time we'd been near each other without Chloe and Kelsey between us, screaming obscenities at each other.

"Hmm. Maybe I'll get a hamburger instead," Ellen was

saying. "They're obnoxiously greasy, but sometimes greasy can be good, right? What do you think?"

"I'm sorry." It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I tucked my hair behind my ear and cleared my throat. "I mean, not about the hamburgers. I'm sorry about us. How we stopped hanging out and stuff, and — "

"I know. Me, too."

"It was my fault," I said. "I let having a boyfriend and the whole football–soccer drama come between us."

"Yeah… You did mess up pretty bad," Ellen said, reaching down and squeezing my hand. "But whatever. I'm over it, and we're hanging out now. We're cool."

I beamed at her. "I'm glad."

"Me, too."

We chatted for a few more minutes as we inched forward in the line, catching up on the things we'd missed in the last year — apparently, Ellen's brother had gotten kicked out of middle school for fighting and was now going to a private school. I couldn't believe I hadn't been with her through that. But it was like she'd said — I was there now, and that's what mattered.

"You know," she said after we'd loaded our trays with food and I'd grabbed Chloe's Diet Coke, "I knew. Even before Randy said anything at Homecoming, I knew you were… Well, I knew you hadn't slept with him."

I blushed. "Um… thank you?"

"No, seriously," she said as she handed the cranky-looking cashier the money for her lunch. "I mean, I second-guessed myself a few times, but when you started the strike I just

thought… I thought I still knew you, and the you I knew wouldn't have slept with him, if that makes sense."

"I thought about it a few times. We got close."

"I know, I know. Don't get me wrong, he's hot and I know you loved him, but…" She hesitated, watching as I paid for my meal. "As much of a control freak as you are, I knew it couldn't have happened. Not with an idiot like Randy, at least. It's nice to know I still know you."