My whole body went rigid. I knew that voice.
"There you are," Jenna said, flicking her red hair over her shoulder in the sassiest way possible. "Okay. I'll excuse your lack of punctuality today, but don't make a habit of it, please."
She'd excuse it? Jenna was not our boss. She couldn't punish us or anything just because she worked a few more days a week. She might have called herself an "assistant librarian," but she was just another shelver. You needed a degree to be a librarian (I'd googled it out of curiosity once), and she was still a student. Really, Mrs. Coles, the head librarian, was the only one with the power to hire, fire, or punish.
"Sorry," Jenna said. "Can't remember your name. What was it again?"
"Cash."
"Right. Good. Cash, this is Lissa. You'll be working together to keep this place in top order."
I had to keep myself from blushing as I turned to face him for the first time since he'd walked into the library. I was annoyed to find him smiling at me. Not a sly smile or a knowing smile, just a casual smile. Like he was vaguely happy to see me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hello."
"You two stop having a staring contest and get to work. Take those books and shelve them in the children's section," Jenna ordered, pointing at the cart again. "Upstairs."
"I know where the children's section is," I told her.
"Cash doesn't, though. Now hurry up. What if some poor little kid is looking for The Velveteen Rabbit and can't find it because you guys took so long putting these books on the shelves?"
I sighed and grabbed one end of the cart.
"Elevator," Cash said as I pulled the cart toward the stairs.
"What?" I looked over my shoulder at him.
"The elevator," he repeated, gesturing to our left. "You know there is one right here, don't you?"
"Um, yes," I said slowly. Of course I knew. I was here all the time. I knew the place like the back of my hand. "But it's awful. It takes forever just to get to the second floor."
"Maybe," Cash said. "But that cart is going to be a bitch to get up the stairs. It looks really heavy. Let's just use the elevator."
As much as I hated to admit it — and to spend any amount of
time stuck in an enclosed space with Cash — it really would be easier to move the books upstairs in the elevator. And who knew? Maybe they'd fixed it. I hadn't used the thing in months.
"Fine," I agreed.
Cash helped me roll the cart into the ancient, microscopic elevator. Now that I was inside again, with the doors closing, I remembered why I'd hated it the first time. Aside from being slow, it was also kind of creepy.
My fingers tightened around the handle of the cart as the elevator trembled, making horrific scraping sounds as it slid upward at a snail's pace. Of course, my anxiousness wasn't helped by the fact that Cash was standing just centimeters away from me, the limited room forcing us uncomfortably close to each other.
"So… you and Jenna have a lot in common, huh?"
I looked up from the titles on the cart, narrowing my eyes at him. "What?"
"Jenna," Cash repeated, as if I'd misunderstood him the first time. "She reminds me of you."
"How?"
"I don't know. She just reminds me of you. You're both kind of control freaks — not in a bad way or anything, but… You haven't noticed?"
"No."
"Huh." He shrugged. "Maybe it's just me, then. But she really reminds me of you. I just remember when we were talking at that party over the summer, you said you had a thing about order and…" He trailed off. I could feel the heat rising on my face
when he mentioned that night. "Anyway," he continued, "she seems like she's a lot like you."
I focused hard on keeping my reply cool, free of any emotion.
"You just met her," I reminded him. "And really, you don't know me that well, so you can't make comparisons. Especially not between me and Jenna. I'm nothing like Jenna."
"You sure about that?" he teased, elbowing me playfully. Flirting, the way he did with every girl.
Despite his romance-novel-worthy name, Cash Sterling was anything but a leading man. We'd gone to the same school since kindergarten, and in all those years, he'd never once had a girlfriend. Hell, as far as I knew, he'd never even hooked up with a girl. But he was a flirt. Chloe called him "the ultimate tease" because he was good-looking, friendly, and charming, and he led all the girls on but never pursued any of them.
I didn't understand why it was okay for Cash to flirt with every girl he met and never commit to any of them when, if a girl did the same thing, the guys would call her a cock tease. Guys were such jerks.
"I'm sure," I replied, probably with more of an edge to my voice than was fair, but it bugged me that he was comparing me to my worst enemy, and it bugged me even more that he had the gall to flirt with me.
The elevator didn't seem to be moving anymore, but the doors hadn't opened, either. I jabbed the button again, and we lurched upward, as if the contraption had stopped between floors, forgetting to move on. This could not be safe.
"You okay?" Cash asked.
"Yes. I just want to get off this thing."
Suddenly his hand was over mine, and I realized that I'd been tapping my knuckles against the cart of books. "Don't be nervous," he said, squeezing lightly.
I stared up at him, surprised to find concern in his green eyes.
"I should have asked you if you were claustrophobic."
"I — What?"
"Isn't that why you're such a stressball right now and didn't want to use the elevator? My cousin's the same way."
"Um… yes. Right. That's it."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked you into this."
"I'll be okay," I said, and despite everything, I couldn't help letting out a little laugh.
"Well, it's almost over," Cash said. "Looks like the doors are about to open."
And sure enough, they did. The noisy elevator screeched as it finally halted on the second floor and the metal doors slid aside. Cash removed his hand from mine — it felt like a little jab at my chest — and we pushed the cart out onto the floor.
"All right, start shelving," I said, trying to regain my composure. "Someone might be looking for one of these."
"Like The Velveteen Rabbit?" Cash grinned and picked up one of the picture books.
I opened my mouth to argue that I was so not like Jenna, but Cash turned those green eyes on me and I felt myself start to melt a little. I shook my head, laughing against my better judgment.
"Touché," I said.
He grabbed a few books and walked over to one of the shelves, smiling at me as he passed.
I smiled back, then scolded myself for it. It had taken me nearly a year to relax around Randy, and sometimes it was still a challenge. It shouldn't have been so easy with Cash.
As quickly as it had appeared, my smile slipped away.
Chapter seven
Randy and I had our first big fight this past June, right after school let out. We'd broken up, and I was devastated. But on a hot night in July, Chloe decided to get me out of my funk and drag me to a party at Vikki McPhee's house.
"Come on," she'd said, pulling me from my bedroom that night. "You'll never get over Randy if you don't put yourself out there. A few meaningless hookups are exactly what you need right now."
When we'd arrived at the party, Chloe gave me a once-over and sighed. "I still can't believe you're wearing that. You have some sexy clothes. Why aren't you rocking them?"
I rolled my eyes and edged past her into the house. The place already smelled like beer and pot, and the walls were practically shuddering against the pounding bass of the stereo. I wrapped my arms around myself and moved toward the perimeter of the room, staying close to the wall. I wanted to fall through the floor. This kind of chaos wasn't what I needed right then. Or ever.
Chloe ran up beside me. "Let's get something to drink."
"You know I don't drink," I said.
"For once in your life, can't you just let go? Lose control a little? You might actually enjoy not agonizing over every little thing."
I shook my head.
"Have it your way," she said, shrugging. "But please, promise me you'll go talk to people? Have a little bit of fun tonight, okay?"
"Fine."
She squeezed my shoulder before hurrying off toward Vikki's kitchen. I pressed my back against the wall and looked around. More people were arriving, and many were already dancing and shouting along with the music. In the corner, I saw a side table topple over when a boy fell backward onto it. I cringed. I had to get out of there.
Keeping my word to Chloe, I said a quick, "Hey, how are you?" to Kelsey as she passed me, wearing an expensive-looking white sundress. She gave an annoyed glance — probably deciding that she didn't want to talk to anyone dressed as badly as I was — and moved on. Just like I'd hoped.
With my task complete, I edged around the living room and headed toward the back door. Leaving the party wasn't an option, since Chloe was my ride — as usual — but I could at least get out of this room.
The sun had just set when I pushed open the door to the back porch. But instead of finding the backyard empty, I discovered Cash Sterling sitting on the steps.
"Oh, sorry," I muttered, my hand still on the door. "I'll leave."
He was sitting on the top step of the wooden porch, one of his legs pulled up to his chest while the other stretched out toward the steps below him. His chin had been resting thoughtfully in his hand, but when he heard me, his head turned in my direction.
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