There’s silence in the kitchen. I don’t know what to say.

I’ve never not known what to say to Suze.

“Bex… you weren’t here,” Suze says suddenly, and I can hear the distress in her voice. “You weren’t here. What was I supposed to do? Have no friends?”

“Of course not!” I say brightly. “Don’t be silly!”

“I couldn’t have survived without Lulu. She’s been a real support to me out here.”

“Of course she has.” Tears are suddenly pricking at my eyes and I turn away, fiercely blinking them back. “Well… you have fun together. I’m sure you will.”

“Bex, don’t be like that. Look… I’ll speak to Lulu about the spa. I’m sure we could find a third place.”

She’s taking pity on me. I can’t bear it.

“No!” With an almighty effort I manage a laugh. “Really, it’s no big deal. I probably wouldn’t have time anyway. In fact… I came in to tell you we have to go back to London. Luke’s got work engagements.”

“Now?” Suze looks taken aback. “But I thought you were going to stay for a few days.”

“We’ve got loads to do!” I lift my chin. “Everything’s different for me, too, you know. I’m a married woman now! I’ve got to set up the flat… look after Luke… throw some dinner parties… ”

“Right.” Suze hesitates. “Well, it’s been lovely to see you, anyway.”

“You too! It’s been fun! We must… do it again.”

We sound totally false. Both of us.

There’s silence. My throat is tight. I’m going to cry.

No, I’m not.

“So… I’ll just go and pack,” I say at last. “Thanks for a lovely time.”

I leave the room, pick up my shopping, and walk away. And my bright smile lasts all the way to the stairs.



NETHER PLEATON GYMKHANA

Manor Stables

Pleaton

Hampshire SO20 8EX


Mrs Rebecca Brandon

37 Maida Vale Mansions

Maida Vale

London NW6 0YF


30 April 2003

Dear Mrs Brandon:

Thank you for your letter concerning the Nether Pleaton Gymkhana next month. I confirm that I have withdrawn your name from the following classes:


General Horsemanship

Open Jumping

Senior Dressage


Perhaps you could let me know if you still wish to enter for “Best Kept Pony.”

With kind regards,


Marjorie Davies

Organiser


Seven


ANYWAY. IT DOESN’T matter. People get married and they move on and their friends change. That’s all. It’s perfectly normal. Suze has her life… and I have my life. It’s fine. A week has gone by since the christening — and she’s barely crossed my mind.

I take a sip of orange juice, pick up the Financial Times, which Luke left on the breakfast counter, and begin flicking briskly through the pages.

Now that I’m married, I expect I’ll make loads of new friends, too. It’s not like I’m dependent on Suze or anything. I’ll start an evening class or a book group or something. And my new friends will be really nice ones who don’t ride horses and have children with stupid names like Cosmo…

I take a sip of coffee and plaster some more chocolate spread on my toast. I’m sitting in the kitchen of Luke’s flat in Maida Vale, having a late breakfast.

I mean… our flat in Maida Vale. I keep forgetting, it’s half mine now! Luke lived here for ages before we were married, but when we went to live in New York he had it all done up and rented it out. And it is the trendiest place in the world. All minimalist, with this amazing stainless-steel kitchen, pale beige carpets, and just the odd piece of modern art here and there.

I do like it. Of course I do.

Although, I suppose if I’m totally honest, it’s a tad bare for my taste. Luke has quite a different style from mine when it comes to decorating. His approach is basically “no things anywhere,” whereas mine is more “lots of things everywhere.”

But it doesn’t matter, because I read this article about couples in an interiors magazine, and it said fusing two different styles need not be a problem. Apparently, all we have to do is meld our individual ideas and do some mood boards together and create a signature look.

And today is the perfect day to start. Because any minute now, all our honeymoon purchases are going to be delivered from the storage company! Luke’s stayed behind from work especially to help. It’ll be quite a project, I expect. Which just shows: I’m so busy, I don’t even have time for friends.

I’m feeling really excited about seeing all our souvenirs again! Arranging the little mementos of our honeymoon around the apartment. It’ll really make a difference to this place, having a few personal objets here and there.

“The post’s here,” Luke says, coming into the kitchen. He’s in his suit, since he’ll be going into the office later, and his hair is trimmed all short and businesslike again. He had it cut almost as soon as we got back to London — because, as he said, Italy is one thing, but Britain is another.

I suppose he has a point. But I can’t help feeling a bit wistful every time I see his bare neck. That little untanned patch of skin below his hairline is the only reminder of the way he was on our honeymoon.

“There’s a letter for you,” he adds, handing me an envelope.

“Oh, right!” I take it from him, feeling nervous.

Ever since we got back to London, I’ve been approaching all the big department stores for a job as a personal shopper. I’ve got a great reference from Barneys and everyone’s been really nice to me — but so far all I’m getting told is that there are no openings right now.

Which, to be honest, has been a bit of a blow. I thought I’d be fighting off offers. I even had this little fantasy where all the head personal shoppers at Harrods and Harvey Nichols and Selfridges took me out to lunch and gave me free clothes to persuade me to join them.

As calmly as I can, I pull the letter out of the envelope. This one is from a new shop called The Look, which hasn’t even opened yet. It’s going to be a huge new store just up from Oxford Street, full of great clothes and accessories, and the gimmick is that there will be loads of personal shoppers available to help you pull your look together. They want someone to run and train the team, and had already heard about me from their contact in New York. I went to see them a couple of days ago and I thought I did OK, but…

“Oh my God!” I look up in disbelief. “I got it! They want me!”

“Fantastic!” Luke’s face creases in a smile. “Congratulations!” He puts an arm round me and gives me a kiss.

“Except… I won’t be needed for three months,” I say, reading farther down. “That’s when the store opens.” I put the letter down and look at him. “Three whole months. That’s quite a long time not to have a job.”

Or any money, I’m thinking.

“I’m sure you’ll find something to do,” says Luke cheerfully. “Some project or other. You’ll have plenty to keep you busy.”

The buzzer suddenly goes in the hall and we look at each other.

“That must be the delivery people!” I say, feeling my spirits rise. “Let’s go down!”

Luke’s penthouse has its own lift right to the front door, which is just so cool!

“So, where shall we tell them to put everything?” he says as he presses the ground-floor button.

“I thought we could pile it all up in the corner of the sitting room,” I suggest. “Behind the door. Then I can sort it out while you’re at work.”

Luke nods. “Good idea.”

I suddenly remember the twenty Chinese silk dressing gowns. Maybe I’ll be able to smuggle them in without Luke’s seeing.

“And if there was any overspill,” I add casually, “we could always put it in the second bedroom.”

“Overspill?” Luke frowns. “Becky, how much stuff are you expecting?”

“Not that much!” I say quickly. “Hardly anything! I just meant if they’ve packed things in really huge boxes or something. That’s all.”

Luke looks a bit suspicious, and I turn away, pretending to be adjusting my watch strap. Now the moment’s nearly here, I’m feeling just the odd tiny qualm.

I kind of wish I’d told him about the wooden giraffes. Should I quickly confess?

No. It doesn’t matter. It’ll be fine. Luke’s flat is huge. I mean, it’s vast! He’ll never notice a few extra things.

We push open the double doors of Luke’s building and walk out, to see a man in jeans, waiting on the side of the road by a small van.

“Mr. Brandon?” he says, looking up.

I feel a small whoosh of relief. I knew we hadn’t bought that much stuff. I mean, just look at that van. It’s tiny!

“Yes. That’s me.” Luke holds out his hand, with a pleasant smile.

“Any idea where we can park the lorries?” The man scratches his head. “Only we’re in a no-parking zone round the corner.”

“Lorries?” echoes Luke. “What do you mean, ‘lorries’?”

His smile has kind of frozen on his face.

“We’ve got two lorries to unload. Can we take them into the parking bay there?” The man gestures at the forecourt of the building.

“Of course!” I say quickly, as Luke doesn’t seem able to speak. “Go ahead!”

The man disappears. “So!” I say brightly. “This is fun!”

“Two… lorries?” says Luke.

“It must be a shared load!” I say quickly. “With someone else. I mean, obviously we haven’t bought two lorry-loads of stuff.”

Which is true.

I mean, it’s ridiculous! In ten months, we couldn’t possibly have—

I’m sure we couldn’t have—