"This is Raymond," Catherine answered in a steady voice.She looks so calm!
He moved quickly, stepping behind Catherine and pressing the revolver to her temple.
"You shouldnt have come here," he said. "Now I have to kill her."
"I dont think so," Rebecca said evenly, her eyes on his face. "I wont let you."
"You have no idea who I am. You dont know my power. You cant stop me." He laughed, enjoying himself.
"Youdont know how powerfulIam!" she responded. "Thiswoman is mine. Ive come for her."
"Youre a fool. Ill kill you both."
"You cant kill me," Rebecca said arrogantly, fervently hoping that Watts was in position, and that he could still shoot. She was counting on him to save Catherines life. "Go ahead. Try to shoot me. You wont be able to, you puny pathetic excuse for a man. If youwerea man, you wouldnt have to pull women into the bushes and rape them." Her eyes never left his. "I bet you cant even get it up if theyre looking you in the face. I bet youre afraid to let them see just how weak you really are. You dont have the balls to shoot --"
She rolled left the instant his gun moved from Catherines temple, drawing her own simultaneously. She thought she fired, but the impact of the bullet that tore through her chest pitched her backwards. She never knew if Catherine was safe.
**********
It was unclear whose bullet hit him first, Rebeccas or Watts. Raymond Blake had died instantly, leaving Catherine Rawlings unharmed. Catherine took a leave of absence, stating health reasons. To the casual observer, she would have appeared perfectly healthy as she juggled two shopping bags of groceries and her keys to the door of her brownstone.
She frowned, key in hand, as the door opened.
"Youre not supposed to be up."
"Let me do something," her reluctant patient complained. "Youve been taking care of me for weeks."
"I've been taking care of you because I love you, Rebecca, and I owe you my life."
Rebecca looked uncomfortable, as she always did when Catherine brought up the night in the boathouse.
"No you dont. I was just doing my job."
"It was more than that. We both know it!" Catherine cried in an unusual fit of temper. "You knew you could die protecting me. Did you actuallybelieveI could survive it if you traded your life for mine?"
Rebecca looked away. "I dont know. I only knew I couldnt survive without you."
Catherines anger dissipated as quickly as it had come, the product of her fear. She slipped her arms around Rebeccas waist, careful not to disrupt the bandages covering the healing wound on her chest.
"Rebecca," she said softly, welcoming the desire Rebeccas nearness kindled in her. "I love you. I want the chance to love you for a long time. I want you to promise me that Ill have that chance. If you cant do that for me, I wont be able to bear watching you walk out my door. Ill die inside each time you leave me."
Rebeccas arms tightened around her, so many words she wanted to say choking her. "I promise."
Catherine clung to the words, knowing it was the most important promise Rebecca would ever make.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Catherine glanced at the clock as Hazel Holcomb came through the cafeteria line. It was exactly seven-fifteen am. Hazel joined her, carefully arranging her juice and danish on the table before she began to speak.
"Are you ready to come back?" Hazel asked without preamble. It was Catherines first full day at the medical center in three months.
"I think so. Ive missed it."
Hazel studied Catherine silently. She knew very well that Catherine had something on her mind. Whether Catherine knew that was another story. Hazel sipped her coffee and waited.
"Rebecca goes back to work today, too," Catherine added casually.
"Is she anxious to return?"
Catherines face lit up with a fond smile. "Cant wait."
"Areyouready for her to go back to work?"
"Terrified."
"Well," Hazel said in a satisfied voice, "now were getting somewhere."
She watched the play of emotions across Catherines face. Some kind of internal struggle was clearly raging. Knowing how long Catherine had waited to allow anyone into her heart, Hazel could only imagine what the loss of that love could cost. "You could have chosen someone in a slightly less dangerous line of work, you know. Goodness knows, there are plenty of women around here who have been interested."
"I didnt fall in love with Rebecca because shes a cop," Catherine answered defensively.
"Didnt you?" Hazel probed.
"No! I fell in love with her because ofwhoshe is, notwhatshe is!"
"Is there a difference?"
Catherine stared at her friend and mentor. Images of Rebecca passed through her mind. Rebecca leaning against a desk, cool and controlled, an intensity about her that aroused Catherine; Rebecca collapsing against her after orgasm, shedding tears for all the pain she couldnt allow herself to feel at other times; Rebecca calmly staring into the eyes of Raymond Blake, knowing she would kill him.
"Ive never wanted to admit that," she replied, a little embarrassed.
Hazel looked surprised. "Why, for heavens sake?"
"Because it means shes never going to stop being a cop," Catherine said quietly. Her eyes, filled with sudden pain, met Hazels. "And Im not sure I can live with it." She didnt want to go on, afraid of where her words might lead.
"Talk to me about this," Hazel said gently. She sensed Catherines fear, but she trusted her strength as well. Catherines need to express these fears was the real reason she was here.
"That night in the boathouse Rebecca knew she might die, and she deliberately provoked him," Catherine began, her voice low and tormented. "She looked right into his face and she never wavered. Isawhim shoot her, Hazel. I saw her body blown into the air; I saw her blood splash against the wall. She was lying in a pool of blood, completely still, and I thought she was dead. And do you know how I felt? Empty. My mind felt empty; my soul felt empty. If she dies, Hazel, Im afraid Ill feel like that for the rest of my life!"
"Does she know how you feel?"
Catherine shook her head. "No. And I dont want her to. Being a cop is too much a part of her. Shed die if shedidntdo this."
Hazel nodded, always having known that Catherine would love without reservation when she finally allowed herself to love at all.
"Then youre going to have to love her enough to let her go each and every day," Hazel said.
Catherine stared for a long time at the cup clenched in her hands, feeling the sadness of acceptance. When she raised her eyes to Hazels, they were calm.
"I dont have any choice. I wont give her up."
**********
Rebecca settled into the seat next to Watts, content to let him drive, happy to be back in a world she knew. Watts hadnt said much since the Captain announced that he had assigned them as permanent partners. Neither of them had protested. There was something Rebecca wanted to say, but, as usual, she was having trouble finding the words. Watts was strangely quiet as well.
"I got a kid, you know," he finally said, staring straight ahead.
"Oh yeah?" Rebecca responded noncommittally.
"A son. Hes a lawyer. He lives with another guy. Theyve been together ten years."
Rebecca too stared straight out through the windshield. "I never thanked you for that night we nailed Blake. I counted on you to save Catherines life. You came through for me."
He shrugged. "I couldnt let him waste the doc. Guess I got a soft spot for dames. But you know, Frye, you cant let yourself take em too seriously. Youre finished if you do."
Rebecca smiled to herself, deciding not to be offended.
"Shes something special, Watts."
Watts shook his head in mock sadness. "Shit, Frye, youre already a goner."
They laughed and drove off together, eager for whatever the streets might hold.
The End
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