"Theres a big part of me that knows youre right," she said softly, her voice hollow. "As a cop, if I were a good cop, I should be elated that we have some conduit to this guy --" Her voice trailed off.
Catherine went to her, put her arms around her, leaned her cheek against Rebeccas rigid back. Rebeccas strain and tension were transmitted to her through the unyielding muscles under her hands. Catherine knew the rejection was not of her, but of the weakness that Rebecca perceived in herselfbecauseof Catherine. Rebeccas inner struggle now was one that Catherine knew would need to be fought again and again -- the conflict between Rebeccas need for absolute emotional distance and the disruption of that control caused by her involvement with Catherine. Catherine was determined neither to ignore the problem nor to allow Rebecca to face it alone. The outcome of that battle would determine just how much the two of them could share, and Catherine found that that meant a great deal to her.
"Rebecca, the way you feel right now is perfectly understandable," Catherine began softly. "Youre worried about my safety, and its different than it usually is because you care about me. Were involved with each other, for heavens sake. Weve made love, weve shared something of ourselves. I am not someone you can be objective about."And not someone you must push away to satisfy your sense of duty, I hope.
"I never should have let this happen," Rebecca said, her back still to Catherine. "Its compromising my thinking, and that could mean jeopardizing your safety."
"Well, I, for one, am not sorry that it happened," Catherine persisted. She knew she was taking her own emotional risks by admitting to Rebecca, and to herself, just how important Rebecca had become to her. But one of them had to make the first move to breach the considerable defenses they both had erected around their hearts.
Rebecca turned to her then, and tightened her arms around Catherine, holding her fiercely.
"Neither am I," Rebecca answered, her voice rough with emotion.Im afraid to even think about how much you mean to me. I just dont know what Id do if anything happens to you. Her tension began to lessen in the soft embrace of Catherines arms, and her mind began to clear. Even as she held her, Rebeccas thoughts turned to what she must do to protect her. Where other emotions clouded her judgment, Catherines touch restored clarity. She was continually astonished, and still a little afraid, of the womans effect upon her.
"I dont suppose I could persuade you to have a police officer accompany you around until this is over, could I?" she asked, her lips pressed to Catherines forehead.
"No."
"At least at night, when youre at home?"
"Only if its you."
Rebecca leaned back and gazed down into the face that never failed to move her, memorizing the image -- wisps of grey at the temples, fine bones beneath ivory skin, liquid pools of swirling greens in her eyes.
"Its not in my contract," she whispered, longing to forget everything except the desire to kiss those tender lips and lose herself in Catherines welcoming warmth.
"It could be," Catherine answered, her lips finding Rebeccas.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Rebecca slept during the afternoon in an empty on-call room at the hospital and later drove Catherine home. She attached a voice activated recording device to Catherines telephone after they had agreed that Catherine would review the tape and erase any client related calls before turning it over to the police. Once again Rebecca did a security check and arranged for extra patrols to pass through the neighborhood. Finally she felt satisfied that she had done all she could do. The next move was up to him.
"I have to go out for a while," she said. "There are people I need to talk to --people I can only find at night. Will you be all right?"
Catherine nodded, silencing the fear she felt, not for herself, but for the determined woman she had come to care so much for. Every time she saw the gun harnessed against Rebeccas chest, she was reminded of the potential violence Rebecca faced each time she went out into the streets. That fear was something Catherine knew she would never get used to, and that it was the price she must pay for allowing Rebecca into her heart. At this moment, however, she knew that Rebecca needed reassurance that Catherine was safe.
"Can I expect you tonight?" Catherine asked, placing her hand gently on Rebeccas arm.
"Count on it."
**********
Rebecca found Sandy without any difficulty. What surprised her was the lack of any protest when she pulled her car up beside the young prostitute. Sandy crossed the sidewalk quickly and slid in beside her.
"Lets get out of here, okay?" Sandy said.
Rebecca pulled into the line of traffic and looked at the girl questioningly.
"Why so glad to see me?"
Sandy grimaced. "Things are getting really weird out here. All the pimps are uptight because the cops are pulling them in -- asking questions about the kiddie porn stuff. And now theyre starting to pull in the girls, asking about kinky johns and rough trade. Its making everybody nervous. Whats going on?"
Rebecca smiled at the reversal in their positions. Suddenly she had become the informant. "I dont know for sure. There may be a loose cannon around. Some guy who likes girls in gym shorts and gets a little rough."
"How rough?"
"Rough like in dead."
Sandy leaned her head back against the seat and sighed.
"Shit, we dont need this. Got anything on him?"
"Look in the back seat. Theres a sketch of someone who might be him."
Sandy looked at the police rendering and snorted.
"Oh, him. I must see ten dudes a night who look like this."
"Yeah, thats what I was afraid of," Rebecca answered grimly. "The best I can tell you is that hes white, late twenties or early thirties, probably well-educated, and wont seem like a nut case. And this is important. He may have a gym bag or something like it. He seems to like his women to dress for his pleasure, with short nylon running briefs."
"Thats it?"
"Afraid so."
"What do we do if he shows?"
"If you can, dont work alone. Stay in pairs or groups, so if he approaches someone, one of you can call me. Try to get the word out as quickly as you can. The girl he killed two days ago is the only prostitute we know about. I dont want there to be another one."
Sandy looked at the woman beside her, surprised by the vehemence in her voice and the stony set to her features.
"Yeah, well, thanks," was all she said. Too many years on the streets had taught her not to trust what looked like kindness, because there was always a price attached. But she would remember the look on the tall detectives face, a look that made her feel a little safer.
**********
When she knocked on Catherines door a little after midnight, Watts answered it. He stepped out into the hall before she could say anything and pulled the door closed.
"Shes all right," he said quickly, noting the alarm on Rebeccas face. "Our boy called. She called it in and I came over. Figured youd rather have me here than someone she doesnt know."
Rebecca took a deep breath and nodded, relief washing through her. "What did he say?"
Watts shrugged. "This dame--excuse methis doctor--is one cool cookie. She insisted on clearing the tape of `unrelated messages before shed let me hear it. She should be ready for us now."
"Thanks, Watts," she said as she pushed the door open.
Catherine was seated in front of a small desk with the tape recorder before her. She seemed lost in thought.
"Catherine," Rebecca called softly.
Catherine turned at the sound of her voice, and a faint smile flickered across her fine features. "Im glad youre back."
"Im sorry I wasnt hear when he called," Rebecca began.
Catherine silenced her. "It doesnt matter--youre here now. Shall we go over this?"
Watts shuffled in behind Rebecca and sat on the couch across the room, his notebook on his knee. Rebecca walked to the window and looked out into the night sky. She didnt want to be facing Catherine when she heard this. She didnt trust herself enough.
"Go ahead."
Rebecca prepared herself, knowing that she must forget that it was Catherine this madman had chosen to call. She had to be focused, searching for any clue to his identity. Still, she started suddenly when she heard Catherines voice on the tape:
Catherine:Hello?
Voice:Im so glad I found you home.
Catherine:Im sorry, whos calling please?
Voice:You know me, Doctor. Did you get my flowers?
Catherine:Yes. Why did you send them?
Voice:Because I wanted you to know that youre special to me.
Catherine:Why is that?
Voice:Because I feel as if you understand me. I know that you can appreciate the things Ive accomplished.
Catherine:What things are they?
Voice:You knowwith the girls. When I fucked them. I was good with themtheyd never had it so good before. I took a long time with them, too. I didnt just fuck and come, I let them feel me for a long time. Do you know how that feels, Doctorto be fucked for a long time? Is that how you like it? Id like to fuck you like that right now.
Catherine:Tell me about the girls. How did you pick them?
Voice:Its not hard. Theyre everywhere, just waiting for me to show them how good it can be. Sometimes I just wait for them to come to me.
Catherine:Where do you wait?
Voice:They think they know wherethe police. But they dont know anything. The next time it will be very special. I feel powerful, my cock is powerful. Maybe next time youd like to feel it, Doctor. Would you like to feel my long hard cock pushing into youwould you?
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