"If you say so."

"I do. Besides, that wasn't the point. Damian was the first man I'd ever been with, which makes you the second."

Her words stunned him. He heard them and turned them over in his brain without having a clue as to what to do with them.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. More than you wanted to know."

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because…" She pressed her lips to his bare arm. "Because I want you to know that I think what we have is very special. I think you're special."

She thought they had something. A relationship? Was that possible? He wanted to tell her that he didn't know how, that he wasn't safe. That this wasn't safe. Not for either of them.

"I didn't want this," she continued. "Getting involved, I mean. Based on how you live your life, I'm guessing you didn't want it, either. Which means we should probably assume it's just hormones and that whatever it is will pass."

He risked looking at her and nearly lost himself in her beautiful eyes. "What didn't you want?"

She smiled. "The complication. The attraction. I spent yesterday being completely schizophrenic-bouncing between grinning like an idiot and promising myself I would end this immediately."

So she'd been feeling the same things he had. "If you planned on telling me it was over last night, the lace nightgown was a mixed message."

"I know." Her smile faded. "Jeff, neither of us wants this. The timing is bad, it's confusing. There are probably a hundred reasons to pretend it never happened, but that's not what I want."

"What do you want?"

She settled her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "To play it by ear. To enjoy my time with you without getting too personally involved or getting hurt."

Until it's time for me to leave.

She didn't say those last words, but he heard the message and knew she was correct. They could pretend for now. Pretend that they were allowed to be lovers and act like other people. But they both knew the truth. Eventually she would walk away from him because he could never give her what she needed and deserved. And he would let her go because to keep her in his world meant being distracted. One mistake on an assignment could easily be the end of him and the client.

"I need to keep my own room," she said. "So Maggie doesn't get confused. I don't want her to know about this. I thought I'd plan on heading back there before she wakes up."

She was talking about spending her nights with him. Of them being together in the same bed for hours at a time. Not just making love, but holding and touching and sleeping together. Longing filled him. A need to inhale the scent of her and be with her until the memories were so strong that he could never forget.

"So what do you think?" she asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "You haven't said what you want."

He knew this was all pretend, but it was more than he had ever had, so it was enough. "I want to make you happy," he said. "I want to do whatever you would like."

She grinned. "Really?"

He turned her onto her back and slid one thigh between hers. "Absolutely anything."

"How wonderful," she murmured. "I'll give you a list of requests tonight."

"Why don't we start right now?"


* * *

"Mommy, I found one!" Maggie squealed with delight, then held up a brightly colored yellow plastic egg. "Uncle Jeff, look!"

"How many is that?" he asked.

Maggie glanced into her basket. "Four," she said with a reverence generally used by chronic shoppers at a twice-yearly sale.

Ashley smiled at her daughter and fought against an unexplained urge to cry. Her eyes began to burn and her throat tightened. She blinked rapidly until her wayward feelings were under control.

Her weakened emotional state was easy to explain, she thought as she sat next to Jeff on the rear step of his house. Ever since she was twelve years old, she'd been fighting to keep her world together. First she'd had to deal with her sister's death and the subsequent loss of her mother. Then she'd struggled to keep afloat in the foster home system. She'd managed to graduate from high school and start college, only to find herself in love with a charming loser who had no business being a husband let alone a father. Then she'd been a single mother, barely able to keep her world together.

For the past thirteen years, life had been one challenge after another. For the first time since the trouble all started, Ashley had a chance to relax and just breathe. Thanks to her job as Jeff's housekeeper and the part-time accounting work she did, she actually had a savings account. She was current in her studies, every day her graduation from college was that much closer, Maggie was happy and healthy and they had a very impressive roof over their heads.

All because of Jeff.

Ashley glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He'd dressed for church in a beautiful navy suit, but she happened to know that shortly after six that morning, he'd been outside in jeans and a sweatshirt, hiding Easter eggs. He'd concealed them just enough that Maggie wouldn't think the Easter bunny had gone soft on her, yet she was finding every single one of the plastic eggs.

Last night Jeff had helped Ashley prepare the eggs, filling the hollow plastic with chocolates, stickers and gaudy Day-Glo rings. He was growing on her; he was growing on them both.

Ashley recognized the danger signs. It wasn't just that Jeff made love to her every night with an attention to detail that left her breathless. Somehow the three of them had created rituals. Jeff and Maggie went grocery shopping twice a week. Fridays were movie-and-popcorn nights, complete with a rented Disney video and plenty of cuddling on the sofa. Jeff had watched Maggie two evenings before Ashley's last set of midterms.

He always asked about both their days, listening intently as if the information were essential to world peace. Or maybe it was just essential to his own well-being. He talked about work, explaining he had a business trip to the Mediterranean late the following month, and kept her updated on the performance of the new recruits.

"Six!" Maggie hollered as she held up another plastic egg.

Jeff stood. "Well done, young lady. Most impressive. As I believe the quota for each child is six eggs per Easter bunny visit, you've found them all."

"Really?" Maggie's blue eyes glowed with pride. "Mommy, I found them all!"

"You are a very clever little girl," Ashley said, holding out her arms to her daughter.

Maggie ran to her for a hug, then turned to Jeff and held up her free arm. The tall, dangerous man bent low and scooped the child into his arms. Ashley's heart tightened in her chest. Both she and her daughter had it bad. Jeff no longer scared them, if he'd ever scared Maggie. He was kind and gentle and he paid attention. How was she supposed to resist him?

Jeff headed for the back door. Ashley rose and followed. He was so good with her daughter. How tragic that he couldn't have children of his own. He would be the best kind of father. Nicole had been wrong to tell him he wasn't human. Jeff Ritter was very much a man-as flawed and frail as the next. But he was also decent.

She stepped into the kitchen where Maggie and Jeff had already opened several of the plastic eggs to discover the goodies inside. Her daughter laughed with excitement over a bright orange ring in the shape of a daisy. She looked up at her mother and grinned.

"This is the bestest Easter ever. Can we go to church now, and then to Brenda's where I can see Muffin again?"

Ashley nodded and held out her hand. "Let's put on our Easter dresses and get all pretty for Uncle Jeff."

Maggie clasped her hands together in front of her chest. "We have hats," she said happily.

Jeff raised his eyebrows. Ashley smiled. "I know it's silly, but it's a tradition. New Easter hats."

"I can't wait to see them."

His gaze met hers. Ashley's heart squeezed a little tighter. In that moment she knew that she'd fallen for Jeff. Fallen hard and fast with no hope of walking away without being crushed.


* * *

"Why is everyone staring?" Ashley asked in a low voice as they walked through Brenda's house in Bellevue.

Jeff had also noticed the interested looks they were receiving. He put his hand on the small of Ashley's back. "It's because you're so lovely."

She glanced up at him and laughed. "Yeah, right."

He took in her dark, wavy hair, the hazel eyes that seemed to see down to his soul, the way her mouth turned up slightly at the corners. She wore a cream-colored dress with long sleeves. The heavy fabric outlined her curves, falling gracefully to her calves. Atop her head sat a small scrap of lace and fabric that could only be called a hat under the loosest of interpretations. She looked beautiful and elegant and he couldn't believe they were here together.

"Maybe it's you," she murmured. "After all, you're not so bad looking yourself."

"I'm sure that's it."

She chuckled and took a glass of orange juice from a tray circulated by a tuxedo-clad waiter.

Brenda's house was spacious. Her husband had joined Microsoft in the days when the computer firm was little more than a start-up. Their wealth was reflected in the elegant furniture and attractive artwork. But while Ashley admired the decorator touches, Jeff counted exits and planned escape routes. He knew there was no point, but old habits died hard.

"So tell me about this brunch," Ashley said. "She goes all out."

"It's a yearly tradition." He glanced around the crowded living room. "Most of the employees from the security company are here, along with a lot of people from her husband's work. The rest are friends and family."