The fact that it pained me at all to see her with someone else irritated me to no end as I went over everything a dozen times yesterday. But as the day wore on, I realized that what I felt for KC, as strange as it might be, was something I’d never known and something I knew I’d never experience again.

I was prepared to live with that knowledge and never act on it. I don’t know if it was the fact that Tate would have been five last week, or that Olivia came home trashed from her parents’ last night telling me that because I only make fifty thousand a year I’m a worthless piece of shit she keeps around for laughs, but I decided then that I couldn’t keep living my miserable life when there was a woman who made me feel more alive than I had in the last five years with just one look. And before I knew what I was doing, I found myself in front of her store this morning.

I shifted down in my seat as my sister-in-law came bouncing out of the bakery and over to the shop she owned with her mom, unlocked the door, and went inside. My eyes shot back over to the bakery, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, there was no talking myself out of what I was about to do.

A little bell chimed overhead when the door to the bakery opened and shut, and I heard her voice from the back of the shop. Her accent wasn’t as heavy as I remembered it, but God the sound still pinned me to the floor. “What’d you forget, Lee?”

“Uh . . . not Kinlee,” a thin guy standing behind the pastry case called out before eyeing me curiously.

KC came through a swinging door with a black apron on, covered with smudges of what I assumed was flour and cake batter. Her dark hair was pulled back, and a few loose strands had fallen in her face. She looked more incredible every time I saw her.

“Brody,” she whispered and set down a tray of cookies and puffs.

That was the first time I’d heard her say my name, and a million different things flashed through my mind. I wanted her to say it again, I wanted to hear her moan it as I had her body underneath mine, and I wanted to have her whisper it in the dark as we got to know each other on every other level, not just the intimate one.

“Well, hello, Brody,” the guy said, and KC made a face before waving him toward the door she’d just come through.

“I have this, Andy.”

Andy and KC seemed to have a short, silent conversation before Andy rolled his eyes and walked to the back. KC stared at the swinging door for a second before turning around. Her body was facing me, but her eyes darted around the bakery—looking anywhere but at me.

I didn’t know how to start this conversation. I hadn’t planned this out. I’d just known I needed to talk to her about what was happening between us. I needed confirmation that I wasn’t the only one who was slowly going insane over this—this—whatever this was. “I need to know what this is,” I finally blurted out.

No “Hi,” no “How are you.” I just went past all the small talk . . . went past everything a normal man and woman would talk about . . . and threw out the issue I’d probably been deluding myself into thinking both of us had been plagued by the past week.

Her eyes widened and met mine momentarily before touching everything else in the bakery again. She cleared her throat twice before stuttering, “What—what what is?”

I managed to close as much of the distance between us as the counter would allow and waited until she finally glanced at me again. “This.” I used my index finger to indicate the two of us. “You have to know what I’m talking about.” God, please know what I’m talking about.

She exhaled deeply and shook her head. Her eyes flickered to the front door, and then to the tray of cookies she’d just brought out, where they stayed. “Brody, you’re married,” she said softly, and the statement sounded so pained I had to grip the countertop when my hand began reaching out toward her. “I can’t—I don’t—you’re married.” Her blue eyes finally met and held mine, and I knew then that this had been tormenting her as much as it had me.

“I know. But I’ve been going out of my mind since I first saw you last Sunday, and I—I don’t know, I know this is insane, KC.” Looking to each side of the counter, I found the space to get behind it and walked over to her as I said, “One thing I’ve learned in my life and my line of work is that life is short, and I know that I don’t know you yet . . . but I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I walked away from the only person who’s made me feel alive in years, the only person who’s made me feel—whatever the hell this is—ever. Tell me I’m not alone in this,” I pleaded.

She looked around the store and shut her eyes tightly as she shook her head. I wanted to beg her to open them again, but words left me when she spoke. “You’re not. Brody, I swear the world stops when I look at you.”

My entire body relaxed, and my already quick heartbeat took off.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you have a wife. So what’s all this for, Brody?” she asked, her pained voice now laced with venom, and the relief I’d felt disappeared. “Just to make yourself feel better knowing that someone else wants you? Or are you just wanting an affair because you’re tired of your spouse? Because if that’s what you want, I suggest you go find someone else who’s looking for the same.” Her blue eyes narrowed and she spoke through gritted teeth. “Do you know that for the last eight days all I could think about was a married man who stirred up emotions in me I didn’t even know I could possess? And it’s been killing me, Brody!”

“No, KC . . . God, no. This is a weird situation, trust me, I know. I’ve been at war with myself with what I know is right, and what I don’t think I can live without. I do not want an affair. I don’t know what something between us could be called, but that word doesn’t do what’s happening between us justice. But I know that my marriage is over, I know I want you more than I want my next breath, and I know I would be insane to walk out that door and away from you.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, and a sound that was something between a whimper and a cry left her lips before she could cover her mouth with her hand. Everything in me wanted to pull her close, but I forced my hands to stay on my hips as I waited for her response. I didn’t know if she wanted me to touch her, and honestly, I didn’t know if I was ready for what would happen if I had her in my arms.

KC looked back up at me and blew out a shaky breath. “I didn’t know I could feel this for someone else, but, Brody, I can’t be the reason your marriage ends.”

“It’s been over,” I said, the truth in my words clear. “We were over before we ever got married.”

“Is that why you don’t wear a wedding ring? Or did you take it off because you were coming to talk to me?”

I glanced down to my left hand and shrugged lamely. “Um, no. Olivia wouldn’t buy one for me when we got married, and never did afterwards. But if she had, I doubt I’d still wear it.”

She nodded, seeming to accept my answer, and then shook her head quickly. “But this is crazy. Whether your marriage is over or not, you’re still married. This . . . it’s wrong.”

“I know,” I murmured. “But I can’t imagine walking away from you now, and from the look in your eyes, you don’t want me to walk away either.”

KC worried her bottom lip for a few moments as she studied me, before admitting softly, “I’ve thought of nothing but you since Jace’s house. Why do you have to be married?” She whispered the last part to herself and huffed a sad laugh. Her eyes slowly met mine as she rubbed at her chest. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. It physically hurts to think about not being with you, and I don’t even know you.”

When I saw her blue eyes fill with tears, I took the last steps toward her and pulled her into my arms. She let out a shaky breath, and her eyes stayed glued to her hands resting on my chest.

We stood there silently for a few minutes before she tilted her head up and looked into my eyes. “What are we going to do?”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when I responded. “I’m not sure, but we’ll take it slow and we’ll figure it out.”

5

Kamryn

May 16, 2015

BRODY LEFT TWENTY minutes later when my first customer came in, but not before getting my phone number and promising to call. It didn’t make sense to be swapping phone numbers given what we’d just confessed—we knew that. But we also knew that in those first seconds after I’d run into him and he’d caught me, we were both already completely lost in each other. And though there were red flags flying up all over the place, this feeling that was drawing us together was strong enough that we were both knowingly, and willingly, ignoring every one of them.

Brody and I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk often, and I had been prepared for that. But I’d had no idea how hard it would be to wait for his call. It was Thursday night, Kinlee and I were out for coffee again, and I hadn’t heard from him once.

“What is going on with you today?”

My head snapped up to look at Kinlee. “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t said more than two words, you just keep checking your phone. Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m just so distracted. I haven’t talked to Barbara in a while, and I get antsy when I don’t.” Part of that was true. I hadn’t talked to Barb in exactly one week. But that wasn’t why I couldn’t stop checking my phone.

I’d put it on silent, not even wanting to risk it vibrating while I was out with Kinlee, and yet I still couldn’t stop checking it. I was ready to take off running out of the coffee shop if he called. Half terrified that Brody would call while I was with her, half wishing he would just call already . . . it was safe to say I was going a little crazy.