Tara Sivec - Shame on Me

I can’t keep the smile off of my face as I stare at myself in the mirror. I washed off the day’s makeup and ran a comb through my hair. I’m wearing an old T-shirt of Matt’s and a pair of his boxer shorts and I’ve never felt more comfortable. As I head for the door, I pull the neck of the shirt up to my nose and take a deep breath, loving how it smells exactly like Matt.

I step out of the bathroom and into the hall, walking over to Matt’s room to thank him and say good-night. Instead of letting things turn awkward when it came time to discuss sleeping arrangements, as soon as he handed me the T-shirt and boxers, I told him I was fine sleeping on the couch. He tried to argue with me and give me his bed, but I wouldn’t have it. He’s done enough for me tonight; I’m not about to make him give up his bed. Or beg him to let me sleep in it with him.

I poke my head into his bedroom and lose my breath when I see him resting on top of his covers. He’s shirtless and has on a pair of gray sweatpants, and his hands are resting under his head with his feet crossed at the ankles. His eyes slowly open as I hover in the doorway.

He takes me in from head to toe and I feel a little self-conscious when I remember I’m not wearing a stitch of makeup.

“You are so beautiful,” Matt says in awe.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard this back in my modeling days. But hearing it come out of a man’s mouth when I’m fresh faced and wearing one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, it warms every single spot inside of me.

“Why are you still standing all the way over there? Come here.”

He slides over and pats the bed next to him. I should turn and run down the stairs—I really should.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I hedge as I stare at the happy trail disappearing into the waistband of his pajama pants.

“It’s an excellent idea. Just let me hold you for a little while.”

His voice is soft and no longer teasing. I can see in his face that he’s concerned about me. Even though we made jokes and I tried to convince myself that Andy was the one who left me that creepy note, we both know there is a strong possibility someone much more dangerous could be out there watching me. In the dim light of his quiet bedroom this late at night, I realize Matt would never judge me for being weak, or admitting I’m scared and don’t want to be alone right now.

Padding across the floor in my bare feet, I crawl up the bed until I’m next to him, curling up against his side and resting my cheek on his chest. I trace little circles on his stomach with my fingertips and watch as his stomach dips when I ghost over a ticklish spot.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue tonight,” I whisper against his skin.

Matt’s hand threads its way through the long strands of my hair over and over. “I’m glad you called me. I like having you here, wearing my clothes.”

I can hear the smile in his voice and I lift my head so I can see his face. He stares down at me with one arm still resting casually under his head. Lifting my face up to his, I press my lips against his cheek and hold them there. When I pull away, Matt is staring into my eyes. All worries about threatening notes and him being in love with Melanie fly from my mind, and all I can think about is getting closer to him. Grabbing onto my hips, he pulls me on top of him. With my legs straddling him and my chest pressed against his, I feel every hard inch of him between my legs; nothing separates us but a few scraps of cotton. Leaning up, I reach for the hem of Matt’s shirt that covers my body and pull it over my head. He sucks in a breath when I’m bared to him and his hands immediately come up to cover my breasts.

“I know I talked a good game earlier about taking things slow. Obviously that’s not going to work out for me. If you’re not sure, or if this is too fast, we don’t have to do this,” he whispers softly as he stares at his hands moving gently over my breasts, his thumbs sliding over my nipples and causing me to jerk my hips against him.

“Not fast enough. Definitely not fast enough.”

Resting my hands on top of his, I lean back down and kiss him. He lifts his hips against me with each sweep of his tongue through my mouth and I want more. I can’t get close enough, can’t move my body fast enough against him. We quickly pull away from each other and clothes are ripped off and tossed to the side of the bed. I let out a contented sigh when we’re both naked, skin to skin, hands touching everywhere we can reach. Matt lets out a groan when my hand wraps around his length and I stroke him from top to bottom. He’s smooth and hard in my hand. I could spend the entire night touching him.

“Fuck, Paige. I need you.”

The guttural words from Matt’s mouth turn me on more than I thought possible.

“Then hurry your ass up and take me.”

I let out a squeak of surprise when Matt suddenly flips me onto my back and positions himself between my legs. He slides his erection through my wetness until I’m clutching at his back with my nails, trying to pull him closer. The head of his penis moves back and forth over my clit and I feel that familiar coil deep in my belly, signaling my quickly approaching orgasm. I watch between our bodies as Matt grabs his erection and guides it slowly inside of me. Throwing my head back, I moan when I feel him enter me and push his way inside. He’s thick and hard and nothing has ever felt this amazing or this right.

He pulls back out slowly and my hands grab onto his ass, pulling him back in hard. He starts up a delicious rhythm with his hips, not treating me like a delicate flower, and then thrusts into me over and over and my hips push up against him, trying to force him harder and deeper. Wrapping my legs around his waist I let him take me, claim me, and own me. My orgasm bursts out of me, and Matt swallows my cries with his mouth. I kiss him back hard, moving my hands up to the back of his head and holding him in place while he shudders and groans through his own release a few minutes later. I feel him throbbing inside of me and tighten my legs around him, holding him close.

Through the haze of my orgasm and the distraction of Matt’s tongue lazily stroking through my mouth, I hear the ringing of my cell phone on Matt’s bedside table. Moving my head away from him, I crane my head to check the caller ID while he nestles his face into the side of my neck and places soft kisses against my skin.

“Just let it ring.” Matt speaks against my neck.

“I have no intention of answering it, don’t worry,” I reassure him as I run my fingers through his hair.

When I see the name flash across my screen, I can’t help the surprised word that flies from my mouth. “Andy?”

Matt’s head jerks away from my neck and he stares down at me.

“Did you just say your ex-husband’s name while my penis is still inside of you?”

Looking away from my phone, I see the irritated look in Matt’s face and I instantly feel bad.

“I’m sorry! This is a little awkward. I saw his name on my caller ID. I have no idea why he’s calling me.”

Matt reaches over and grabs my phone, bringing it up to his ear without taking his eyes off of me. “Sorry, Andy. Paige is busy right now; she’ll have to call you later. And by later, I mean never.”

He quickly ends the call and tosses the phone onto the floor. “I hope that was okay. I don’t need your ex-husband in the room with us. I’m not quite finished with you yet.”

He shifts his hips against me and I let out a moan. “That is perfectly fine with me.”

Paige? Oh, my God, Oh, my God, Oh, my God. Who the hell was that who answered your phone? Fuck, it doesn’t matter. It’s really bad. Those people I told you I owe money to . . . they grabbed me outside of work. They’re going to kill me, Paige! They want their money by the weekend, or they said they’re going to start cutting off my fingers. MY FINGERS, Paige! I need my fingers! They want a hundred grand now. I need you to—”

Holding my phone out in front of me with a shaking hand, I look up when the voice mail cuts off. Dallas Osborne, a friend and private investigator with a neighboring PI agency, stands quietly by my desk with his hands on his hips. His face gives nothing away. I called Dallas as soon as I listened to the voice mail, and he said he’d meet me at the office so I could play him the message. He’s listened to it three times now, and each time, he’s said nothing other than a quiet “play it again.” Lorelei stands next to him, wringing her hands together with a look of worry on her face. I didn’t want to involve my friends in this, but Lorelei was at the office finishing up some work when we all showed up. She hasn’t said a word yet, and I’m afraid of what will happen when she finally does open her mouth. She is not going to be happy with me that I’ve let things go this far without telling Kennedy.

I’ve already listened to this voice mail a hundred times since Matt and I woke up this morning, and I’m freaking out enough as it is. I don’t know if I can handle Lorelei’s wrath as well. As much as I hate Andy, I would never want to see him dead. It’s all fun and games to imagine lighting your ex’s penis on fire until you get a call from him in the middle of the night saying someone is going to kill him.

“What do we do, Dallas?” I ask as I set my phone on top of my desk.

“We need to call Kennedy. That’s what we need to do,” Lorelei states.

“I already called Kennedy. She’s in Indianapolis with Griffin serving a subpoena. I figured it was best not to worry her,” Dallas explains.