Kyle hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until the quiet voice behind her caused her to exhale explosively.

“You never give up, do you Brad?”

Three heads turned as one to face the woman behind them. Kyle noted the quick smile on Brad’s face.

“Did you expect me to, Dane?”

Dane stood looking down at them, cold fury turning her eyes to steel. Kyle had moved in her chair, but not before Dane saw Brad’s hand against the damp fabric of her crotch.

“Why don’t you sit down,” Brad continued, motioning to an empty chair.

Dane hesitated a brief moment and then sat between Brad and Nancy, facing Kyle. Her eyes swept Kyle’s face without a trace of emotion.

Nancy broke the silence by standing up. “I could use another drink. Kyle?”

Kyle nodded gratefully, “Please.”

“And what are you drinking, Dane?” Nancy asked.

Dane stared up at Nancy in surprise. “Scotch.”

Nancy smiled at her. “I’ll just get us all a refill. Want to help carry, Brad?”

Brad laughed and stood up. “I’m always ready to help a lady.”

Kyle stared at Dane, whose eyes were focused on some point across the room.

“What’s going on, Dane?” she said after a moment, tired of the tension, confused by Dane’s icy behavior. Released now from the hypnotic pull of the scene, she was beginning to think clearly again. Her body was still pounding with arousal, but at least her mind seemed to be working.

“Don’t you know?” Dane spat out. Jesus, she practically had you coming in your pants at the table!

“No, damn it, I don’t,” Kyle said in an angry but subdued tone. She shook her head in frustration. “You were angry last night, and you’re still angry.”

Dane looked at her at last, her face softening for an instant. “I’m sorry. I guess you couldn’t be expected to understand. It’s something between Brad and me.”

“I gathered,” Kyle said dryly. “But what has it got to do with me?”

“I’m not sure,” Dane confessed, suddenly feeling tired. “Brad just seems to keep turning up in my life—just when I think I’m rid of her.”

Kyle looked at her compassionately. “I don’t understand, Dane. Maybe someday you’ll tell me. But don’t put me in the middle of it. I ‘m not the enemy, and I don’t want to be.”

“Then what do you want?” Dane said angrily. “Brad?”

“I don’t even know Brad!” Kyle protested.

“You don’t know me either.”

“You’re right. But I’ve touched you. I’ve held you and been held by you. I’ve trusted you with my body, and with my feelings. That counts for something. To me, at least.”

Dane looked at Kyle in wonder. “Does it?”

Before Kyle could answer, Nancy and Brad returned with their drinks. As they sat down again, Kyle sensed that Nancy had captured Brad’s attention. Brad barely glanced at her or Dane.

“Well,” Nancy said, taking a large swallow of her drink, “wonderful party. I’m so sorry I’m not properly dressed.” She looked mischievously at Kyle. “Leather pants would have been so nice!”

Kyle smiled, grateful for Nancy’s presence. “You’re incorrigible.”

“True,” Nancy conceded. “I’ve talked Brad into giving me a tour of those intriguing rooms in the back. Want to come?”

Dane looked at Brad quickly. “Brad—” she began.

“Oh, don’t worry, Dane,” Brad said lightly. “Nancy will be quite safe with me.”

Nancy rose, pulling Brad’s arm. “Oh, come on, Brad. These two are just no fun.”

Brad shrugged in Kyle and Dane’s direction, allowing herself to be led away.

“Oh, boy,” Kyle said. “That’s Nancy.”

“She okay?” Dane asked.

Kyle shook her head. “I’m not sure. I mean, yes—she can take care of herself.”

They sat in silence, a silence that intensified Kyle’s desire to break the barrier between them. Finally, Dane leaned toward her.

“Will you come upstairs with me?”

“Here?”

Dane nodded, waiting.

“Yes,” Kyle agreed, accepting that for now, at least, she would only reach Dane on her own terms, in her own territory.

CHAPTER TEN

SILENCE SURROUNDED THEM as Kyle pushed Nancy’s sleek Ferrari through the tight turns of the darkened highway. They had met back at their table an hour or so after going off separately and had left shortly thereafter. The good-byes exchanged between the four women had been formal and terse. Nancy, for once, had been strangely subdued.

“Cigarette?” she asked Kyle finally.

Kyle reached automatically into her jacket pocket and pulled out two. She handed one across to Nancy, who lit both of theirs.

“You quit,” Kyle said after a moment.

Nancy smiled slightly as she softly blew out a thin stream of swirling smoke. “I think I just started again.”

“You okay?”

Nancy nodded. “Weird. But okay. You?”

Kyle laughed without humor. “No, but I’ll tell you about it some other time.” Her emotions were still too raw and painful to put into words. She knew she had to be alone with them awhile before she shared them, even with Nancy.

Nancy accepted Kyle’s silence, knowing her friend’s deep sense of privacy. She, however, wanted to talk.

“Is it always like that?” she began at last.

“Like what?”

“So intense—so exposed. I mean, I felt like I didn’t have a private thought.”

Kyle laughed grimly. “That whole place is designed to strip away privacy. The people don’t count—just the sensations. No, it’s not always like that. I’ve never been anywhere like that before. Believe it or not, Nance, it’s usually the same for us as it is for you. A lot of strangers trying to find one face, one soul, they recognize in a crowd.”

Nancy looked at Kyle quickly, concerned by the hollowness in her voice.

“What the hell happened to you in there?” she asked sharply.

“I found out I was just another person who didn’t count,” Kyle said tightly.

“I don’t think so, my friend,” Nancy replied softly.

Kyle looked at her, her anger suddenly surfacing. “How would you know? To you people are just bodies anyhow, right? You said it yourself—men or women, it doesn’t matter. It’s just another experience.”

“Not fair, Kyle. You’re not just another body, and neither is poor old Roger, for that matter.”

Kyle sighed and pulled the car to a stop in Nancy’s driveway. “I’m sorry, Nance. It’s not your fault. You were just catching the bad end of my anger.”

Nancy reached over and touched her friend’s arm. “I know. Come on, let’s go sit on the deck, look at the stars and get drunk.”

“Sounds perfect,” Kyle said tiredly as she followed Nancy up the stairs. She sat in a lounge chair and watched the sky revolve overhead while Nancy got them something to drink. She shivered, but she knew the chill came from somewhere inside herself. The breeze from the sea was actually quite warm. She feared the cold within would turn her heart to stone, but she didn’t know how to stop it. Her tears fell softly in the darkness, unnoticed, until she felt Nancy’s fingers lightly on her cheeks.

“Tell me, sweetheart. What is it?” Nancy murmured gently, sitting softly on the end of Kyle’s chair.

Kyle reached for the glass in Nancy’s hand and swallowed deeply before speaking. “I don’t know how to say it,” she began, feeling helpless in her confusion. “I’m not sure what I feel.”

“Tell me what happened, then.”

“We went upstairs after you and Brad left—to one of the private rooms,” Kyle began softly, remembering as if in a dream. “We made love—no, that’s not right. We had sex.” She stopped as the bitterness welled up inside of her.

“I’ve always wondered about that distinction,” Nancy said lightly. She knew Kyle needed to talk, and she also knew how hard it was for her old friend to do that.

“You know there’s a difference!”

“Yes. But only the first couple of times. Then, after the romance dies, it’s just two bodies together,” Nancy replied.

“Not for me!” Kyle insisted.

Nancy sighed, “I know. That’s your problem. You expect the honeymoon to last forever. And you’ll be heartbroken when you find it doesn’t. So tell me—what was wrong with it?”

Kyle frowned as she searched her pockets aimlessly for her lighter. She must be getting drunk if she couldn’t find her lighter. It was one of those little possessions she thought of as a talisman, her good luck charm.

“Damn,” she muttered.

“Here, I’ve got a light.” Nancy lit them both another cigarette, refilled their glasses and sighed. “So, continue. What happened?”

“We went into this room, it was dark. There was a small light under a ledge up near the ceiling. It turned everything into shadows.”

“Sounds marvelous,” Nancy said with a touch of envy.

Kyle laughed. “I can’t stand you!”

“I know. Then what?”

Kyle sighed. “I didn’t know what to do—big surprise. So I just stood there. Dane closed the door and locked it. She didn’t say anything—she just started to take my clothes off.”

“Was she rough with you?”

Kyle shook her head. “No. Just the opposite. She touched me like I might break apart—her hands were so gentle—but she didn’t say anything. I said her name. She put her fingers over my mouth to silence me. She seemed so far away, like a stranger. I tried to touch her, but she wouldn’t let me. She pushed my hands behind me—” her voice faltered, but she continued. “She handcuffed them behind me. I couldn’t touch her. Her face was in shadows; she could have been anyone!” Her tears started to fall again as she remembered how she felt. Alone. Wonderfully gentle hands stroking her skin, soft lips caressing the hollows of her throat and shoulders—but she had felt so alone! She could not touch back, she could not return the tenderness.

She wiped her sleeve angrily across her face. “She made love to me, and after a while, I didn’t care that I couldn’t see her or touch her. I just wanted her to keep touching me. I wanted her to be everywhere—inside of me, all over me. I didn’t care who she was, I only wanted it to go on.”