But he wasn’t alone at all. He leaned back against the headboard, and with the same care he’d give a nuclear bomb, reached for her. “Come here.”

Shockingly, she let him pull her in. He did so very slowly, not wanting to scare her off, but needing to feel her close. She sat at his side, but went still when he tugged her into the crook of his arm.

“Don’t,” she choked out.

“Shh. You’re okay.”

Instead of responding with a slug to the gut as he was more than half braced for, Abby absolutely devastated him by setting her head on his shoulder.

And then she finished him off by turning her face into his neck.

His entire body went still as stone because he was afraid if he moved, hell if he so much as breathed, he’d scare her and she’d scramble away. It shocked him how much he wanted her to stay, just as she was, curled against him, for, oh…the rest of his life.

Holy shit, if that wasn’t a thought. His need for her surprised him, but not more so than her clear reflection of it right back at him.

Whether she admitted it or not, she wanted him, too.

She trusted him. An onslaught of tenderness hit him so hard he nearly bawled like a baby. Gently, because he couldn’t resist, Hawk pressed his mouth to her temple, brushing his lips across her skin in a light caress, more for comfort than sex, though there were plenty of those urges as well. “You okay?” he whispered.

“I think so. It’s the first time I’ve done this, gotten this physically close since…”

He closed his eyes and struggled not to squeeze her. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Abby. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“I hurt you.” She was quiet a moment. “I hurt you and you didn’t hurt me back.”

“Yeah. The truth is, you could gut me right here, I’m that helpless when it comes to you. But not you. You are not helpless.”

“I was last time.”

He drew a careful breath to remain relaxed, as a shocking amount of violence suddenly coursed through him. “I’m sorry. So damned sorry.”

“They handcuffed me.”

Christ, he wished to God he’d never done that to her. He wished even more than he could go back in time and be there that day for her.

“To a wall. They took my clothes and brought out these jumper cables, which they said were effective in getting information out of people.”

He needed to shoot something. That might help.

“But Gaines rescued me just in time.”

He opened his eyes. “Before they-”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I was okay.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“No, I mean I don’t hate men or anything…” She let out a little laugh. “Contrary to how I’ve treated you.”

“I can’t tell you how very happy I am to hear that you don’t hate men, since I’m one. But…”

“But why, if I don’t hate men, did I treat you like crap from day one?” she guessed.

Hawk rubbed his jaw over the sweet silk of her hair. “Yeah.”

“Apparently not hating men and letting them close are two different ballgames entirely. Up until moving to Cheyenne, it was easy to keep my distance from guys. Probably too easy. Then I met you.”

He stopped breathing. “And…?”

“And I couldn’t keep my distance. So I pretended.”

“Okay, I have to do this.” Still moving slowly, he shifted onto his side, pulling her in for a hug, melting a little when she let him.

“You should know…” she said a little shakily “…that contrary to our position, I intend to keep my distance.”

He ran his jaw over her cheek, loving the softness. “Why?”

“Why?” She let out a little laugh. “Okay, so I’m not sure why exactly.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not.”

“And as far as the physical stuff, we could go slow.”

“Yeah, see, that I doubt.”

Okay, she had a point. Reluctant or not, they had a chemistry, and he imagined if she hadn’t been inhibited, they’d already have used at least one condom from the basket on the counter in the bathroom.

“It’s been a long time for me, Hawk. A year. If I let us…if we sleep together, I’m not going to be able to take that lightly. And the opposite of not lightly? Not something I’m ready for, and I doubt you are either.”

“Ah, Abby.” With a sigh, he stroked a hand up her slim spine. “I’m so sorry you were dragged into this.”

“I dragged myself in.”

He was extremely aware of the fact that she hadn’t returned the hug. One of her hands was in her own lap, the other had slipped down and was resting, fist tightly closed, against his abs.

A little higher and she could feel what she’d done to his heart.

A little lower and she’d feel another body part entirely.

But he couldn’t help it. He was covered only by the towel, which was pretty insubstantial, and he was holding her.

And she believed him.

Hell, that alone had excited him. But then she let out a shuddery sigh, her breath fanning lightly across his neck in the most incredible sensation he could remember as a strand of her hair stuck to the stubble on his jaw.

He needed to get up, coax her into a shower of her own, and get some sleep, but he didn’t want to.

“You can stop worrying about me turning you in,” she said, her mouth still against his skin. “I can’t do that now. I couldn’t live with myself if it turned out everything you’ve said was true.” She lifted her face. “We have to see this through to the end.”

Because she humbled him to the core, because he didn’t think he could talk through the sudden lump in his throat, he lifted a hand and gently swept back her hair, tucking it behind her ear, using it as an excuse to sink his fingers into her hair while his thumb slid over her cheekbone. “Yeah. We’ll see it through. Together.” Unable to help himself, he leaned in, but Abby lifted her hand and slapped it to his chest.

“Really, really bad idea, remember?”

“I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree there, Ab.”

“I’m not kidding, Hawk.”

Yeah. Damn. He could see that.

“We…” She chewed on her lower lip and stared at his. “We shouldn’t.”

“So you keep saying. But I gotta tell you, you don’t sound all that certain.”

“Of course I don’t. I’m lying through my teeth.”

His heart literally skipped a beat, and unbelievably, he wanted to smile. He wanted to cry and smile at the same time. A true first. Leaning past her, he reached for the lamp.

“No, don’t-”

He looked into her eyes. “We’ve gotten past quite a bit tonight, let’s get past this as well, and see each other. I mean really see each other. Okay?”

He could feel her thinking it over. Hell, she was thinking so hard the air shimmered with it, and he brushed his mouth past her cheek. “Come on, Abby. You’ve trusted me this far…”

“Yeah, well, there’s trust, and then there’s trust.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

She fell silent, then let out a small laugh that had more nervousness than humor. “I don’t know.”

“Never fear the unknown.” And he flicked on the light.

14

AS HAWK TURNED ON THE LIGHT, a warm glow bathed the room. The bed was tousled, and so was the woman in his arms.

“You’re naked,” she accused him.

“I’m wearing a towel.”

“Nearly naked, then.” Her breathing had changed, and she wasn’t meeting his eyes. But that’s because she was soaking him in, from his shoulders to his pecs to his belly, which she seemed to linger over, making the muscles there quiver like…well, like he was a horny teenager about to get lucky for the first time. He felt lucky, so goddamned lucky, even knowing he was crazy to be here, like this, with her.

Insane, he thought, even as his hands fisted in her shirt. Reckless, after what had happened tonight. But she did something to him, to his gut, his heart.

She’d spent six months being cool and icy, shooting him down with her superior disdain. Now he was suddenly beneath that tough veneer, and while he was here, he wanted to ruffle her up, see the real her. He should be running, yet instead he kissed her.

Pulling back, her gaze dipped down his body again, taking in the towel loosely wrapped around his hips and what it covered.

And what it didn’t cover.

But there was the problem. The longer she looked, the less that it covered. Hawk didn’t want to freak her out or anything but if she kept it up, which she appeared to be set to do, he wasn’t sure that the entire bedspread could cover him. He needed to slow them down, somehow, and opened his mouth to say so, but her tongue came out and wet her lower lip, and he went harder. Great. Nice way to slow down. “Uh, Abby?”

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

“Not like you. You take my breath.” And now the Neanderthal in him wanted to strip her down and get to even more beautiful parts. He wanted it so badly he was shaking, but that was for him. For her…he didn’t know what the right thing was, but he wasn’t going to rush her, or make the first move. Nope, he was going to sit here and let her look her fill, completely still, nonthreatening, for as long as she wanted.

And if he keeled over from having all his blood between his legs, well then, he hoped she knew CPR. “The last thing I want to do is bring up bad memories.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m okay. I just forgot what it felt like, this…rush.”

Okay, looking at him was giving her a rush. He liked that. He liked that a lot. In fact, knowing it gave him a rush of his own.

A big one. One she couldn’t possibly miss. But she kept looking, and he kept letting her, for as long as he could, until it had to be completely obvious what she was doing to him, since his towel had become more like a tent. “It’s sort of a direct ratio thing,” Hawk murmured in his own defense.

Her eyes lifted to his, wide and questioning.