Jill Shalvis - Serving Up Trouble

With a scowl, he dropped his hand.

She simply reached for it, held it in her own. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered as they went out her front door.

She was glad. Great. She was glad and he felt like he’d been tied in knots, and every time she looked at him, smiled at him, the strings tightened inside, drawing him further in, making him care all the more. All professional detachment was gone, and he knew it. No amount of not touching, no amount of being as gruff as possible was going to change anything.

Outside he told the cop in his squad car that he was taking Angie, but to watch the house.

“You should know,” he said to Angie, “you’re done risking your pretty neck.” He opened his passenger door for her.

“What?”

He stopped, framing her in between the truck door and his body, and though not a single inch of him touched her in any way, his entire frame quivered with aware ness. “You’re done going to night classes alone. Done coming home alone. Done trying to solve my case. Done with everything until this is over. Do you understand?”

She let out a little laugh, but when he didn’t smile, hers faded. “You’re not kidding.”

“Nope.” He shut the door, knowing he sounded like an ass but still so worked up and scared to death he didn’t care. He walked around and slid in behind the wheel, feeling the weight of her stare. Sighing, preparing to be blasted by her anger, he looked over. “What?”

“You think my neck is pretty.”

That was so far from what he expected her to say, he could only stare at her.

“And there’s some thing else.” She reached over to put her hand on his. “About me not doing stuff…you’re talking from fear. I get that. I really do. But I can’t give in here, Sam. I just can’t. All I’ve ever wanted is a chance to fly. To be encouraged, to be loved for who and what I am.”

His stomach landed on his feet with all this…mushy talk. “This isn’t about anything other than your safety.”

“It’s about us.”

She was right. God, she was right.

“Can you do it, Sam? Can you take me seriously that way?”

“What does that have to do with keeping you out of trouble?” he asked a bit desperately.

“I think you know what’s going to happen if we’re not careful. Alone together in your house.”

“We’re not a couple of horny kids.”

“No, we’re not. You’re a passionate man. Intelligent, too. And in credibly sexy, Sam. Probably the most sexy man I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re not helping here, Angie.”

“I’m about to. Because not even for you can I go back to my simple, complacent life.” Her voice was terribly quiet, and drove right through his heart. “I agreed to your protection tonight, but-”

“No buts.”

“But,” she continued patiently, “I won’t curb my new appetite for life. I hope you understand, I really do.”

“It’s just one night,” he said desperately.

She looked directly at him, his greatest nightmare, his greatest fantasy, all wrapped in one beautiful package. “It’s more,” she insisted.

Sam’s heart pretty much skipped a beat. “We’re not sleeping together.”

“Because you’re scared.”

“Because you can’t separate love and sex.”

“Can you?”

Her cell phone rang then, startling them both. She went to answer it, but Sam grabbed her wrist, turned it, so he could look at the readout.

“My mom,” she told him.

Sagging back, he gestured for her to go ahead. While she talked, he drove. And tried not to think.

He might as well try not to breathe. His brain whirled. She wanted him. She was going to be sleeping at his house. He wanted her.

Ah, hell. Not good.

“Yes, school is great,” Angie said into the phone, then let out a slow, pent-up breath. “No, Mom, I’m still not going to medical school…not to law school, either. We’ve been through all this. This is for me-Yes. Yes, I know Tony said he could get me work at the district attorney’s office, but that was a long time ago and I don’t want to work there, I want-Mom.” She sighed. “Mom-oops, hear that? Bad connection, gotta go. Love you, bye.”

She tossed the phone into her purse, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Sam divided his gaze between the road and her face. She looked tired. Alone. And in spite of himself, he ached for her.

He waited until he’d parked outside his condo complex and turned off the engine. The street was deserted. The windows around them had started to fog, reducing his world to just the two of them. “Angie…”

“Let me guess,” she said with her eyes still closed. “One of us is still sleeping on the couch.”

“It’s for the best.” Liar, liar. “You should know, Angie…I don’t do love.”

Now she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Why not?”

“Because…I just don’t.”

“Because you’re a big, bad, tough cop?”

“Partly because I’m a cop, yes.”

“Oh, Sam.” She shook his head. “What you do for a living doesn’t matter to me as long as it makes you happy.”

“Being a cop is who I am.” The leather seats crinkled beneath him when he shifted subtly away from her. “It defines me.”

“Yes, it does. So, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that you say it’s fine now, but it won’t be for long.” Where had that come from? What was he saying? That if it wasn’t for his job, he’d want her in his life? He’d actually give them a shot? God, he must be losing it.

“Sam…” She leaned forward and cupped his face in her hands. “You’ve lost your faith in love, that’s all. You can get it back.”

“It’s not that. My job…not many understand it.”

“I understand. I always would.”

“That’s a promise I doubt you could keep.”

“Then you don’t know me very well.”

Her fingers, her cool fingers, skimmed over his face while her eyes gave him nothing but an earnest ness that made his throat burn. “How could you promise such a thing?” he demanded. “Not even my ex-wife could.”

Her eyes widened. “You…were married?”

“For all of six months.”

“That’s not very long.”

“Long enough for Kim to realize being married to a cop was everything my mother had told her it would be. Namely bad.”

Unable to stand the compassion in her eyes, her hands, he pulled back. He turned his head and looked out the window. “I don’t expect any woman to be able to handle this life of mine.”

“Yes, I can see you’re quite attached to that idea.”

He closed his eyes. “Look, I don’t know how we got into this. Let’s just get your bag and go inside.”

She put her hand on his back. Lightly ran it over his tense muscles. He remained still, perfectly still, because if he turned and looked into her gaze, he might give in to this need for her that had him shaking like a damn newborn baby.

“Not all woman are like your mother,” she said softly. “Or your ex. Some of us are far wiser.”

He said nothing, just absorbed her amazing touch and tried to figure out why he liked it so much.

“In fact, some of us are wise enough to know when some thing is such an elemental part of you that it can’t be separated out. Shouldn’t be separated out.” Her fingers slid up to the bare skin at the base of his neck. “You’re a man,” she whispered. “You’re a cop. It’s pieces of the pie, and you know what? I like all of it, every little piece.”

“Angie-”

“I do,” she said firmly. “I guess what I’m saying is…maybe someday you’ll consider risking your heart one more time.”

“Angie-”

“I know what I’m asking. I’m asking you to open up to all the hurt you promised yourself you’d never feel again, but Sam…life has to be lived.”

“I live fine.”

“Sam.”

She waited until he looked at her, waited until he could do nothing but see her, really see her, and ache with all the yearning he didn’t want to acknowledge. “I want a lot of things,” she said. “I want this new life. I want to enjoy it. And I want you.”

“Angie-”

“I would never turn away from you.” Her fingers stroked his jaw. “Never.”

He stared at her, and in complete ear nest ness, she held his gaze, never even blinking.

God. What would it take to believe? To just lean in and let her kiss away all his fears? He almost did exactly that.

She kept looking into his eyes, her own shining. “I could keep telling you all this, over and over, if that would help.”

“Don’t.”

She simply put her mouth to his.

It was dark outside, darker yet in the truck, and still Angie felt a burst of light at the touch of her mouth to Sam’s. It felt good, it felt right…until he stopped.

He looked at her so miserably her heart melted. “It was just a simple kiss,” she said.

“It wasn’t just a damn simple kiss. Nothing with you is simple.”

A car drove by, briefly illuminating the grim lines of his face. Pride flared, and she slowly pulled back. “I see.”

“Angie…I just want you safe.”

“Yeah. You’ve said.” She turned away, and when he reached for her, she shrugged him off. “Okay, let’s try this. First, please stop acting so concerned when it comes to me.”

“What?”

“Because you’re confusing the hell out of me. I think it was the way you kissed me.”

“Oh, no. Wait a minute. You kissed me.”

“I know.” She covered her eyes. “And stop calling me, okay? Stop every damn thing when it comes to me, and then, maybe then, I’ll be able to get my head back together.” She reached for her backpack, thinking she would get out and walk home.

“Angie-”

“No. You don’t want to talk, you don’t want to think, you sure as hell don’t want to feel. I don’t know why I thought…oh, never mind.” More angry at herself than him, she tried to open the door but it was locked, and then he was reaching for her, blocking her way.