With every step, her legs felt weighed down by lead. Tension tightened every molecule in her body, and with every breath she gulped her chest burned and seemed to compress.

Oh, Lord, what was she doing?

Stopping at the front door, Ryan rang the doorbell. He glanced her way with a sexy smile, and must have seen the panic in her eyes, because concern instantly touched his features. "Hey, are you okay?"

No, I don't belong here with you.As honest as that knowledge was, she couldn't bring herself to say the words, knowing that he'd take her back home rather than force her to stay. Unwilling to ruin this night for him just so she could wallow in her own insecurities, she settled for an understated version of the truth and prayed that she'd survive the evening. "I'm just a little nervous."

He brushed his knuckles softly over her jaw, his gaze both tender and understanding. Lowering his head, he placed a quick, but infinitely sweet kiss on her lips that lingered long after he pulled back.

"I'll be right beside you the entire time," he murmured reassuringly. "You're going to be just fine, Jessie."

And then the door opened and they were greeted by a warm, friendly man that Ryan introduced to her as his boss, Phillip Haywood. As Phillip's hand engulfed hers in a warm handshake and the older man chastised Ryan for keeping such a beauty all to himself, Jessica had no choice but to trust Ryan and believe his promise that she really was going to be just fine.

Chapter 8

After four hours of exchanging pleasantries and formalities with attorneys, Jessica couldn't help but let loose a little humor now that the evening was over. "How do you save a lawyer from drowning?"

Ryan glanced her way, seemingly trying to gauge her mood. "I haven't a clue," he murmured.

She allowed a tired smile to touch her lips. "Take your foot off his head."

His deep, rich chuckles filled the close confines of his car as he navigated his way back to the main road from Haywood's estate. "Thank you for saving that joke for a more private moment."

"You're welcome." The chill cloaking the inside of the vehicle stole beneath her long, wool coat and caressed her legs, making her shiver. "I don't think your bosses or colleagues would have appreciated my brand of humor quite the way you do."

He flipped on the heater, then turned to meet her eyes, visible by the illumination radiating from the dash. "Was the party that bad for you?"

With a sigh, she rested her head against the back of her seat and thought about his question. "Actually, it wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be. Everyone was friendly and warm. Any discomfort I experienced was strictly my own." And, surprisingly, it had been minimal.

She'd survived the evening, and had even enjoyed herself at times, regardless of knowing the occupation of half the guests at the party. She'd seen a different side to what she'd always believed was a hard-edged profession. The associates who worked at Haywood and Irwin were hardworking men and women who just happened to have chosen law as a career, as Ryan had suggested. People with humor and emotions. People with families of their own. People who represented the good and evil of the world because it was their sworn duty to help others and assure them of a fair trial.

But what had made the greatest impact on her was an idle, but profound comment that one of the female attorneys in the firm had made to her while Ryan had been talking to his boss. Having worked in law offices for the past twenty years, the woman found Ryan refreshing as a lawyer. According to her, Ryan was a lawyer who cared about people and catered to his client's needs, rather than focusing on his own personal gains.

And despite her bitter childhood memories, Jessica came to accept on a tentative level that not all lawyers were as cutthroat and merciless as her father's had been. Ryan certainly didn't fit the mold, and she'd been wrong for ever believing he could deliberately hurt someone with selfish intent.

"You did great, Jessie." He reached across the console and settled his hand on her leg. Though a heavy layer of wool separated her flesh from his fingers, she could feel the supportive squeeze he gave her thigh. "And I'm very glad you came with me."

She was glad, too, for purely selfish, personal reasons. Ryan had been so attentive-touching her without reserve, holding her hand, gazing at her with affection-that she'd briefly enjoyed the fantasy of being more than just his date for the evening. But just like Cinderella, by tomorrow morning the fairy tale would be over and reality would return.

She recalled the various comments revolving around her and Ryan that she'd overheard during the course of the evening. "You do realize, don't you, that your bosses and colleagues think we're an item," she said.

He transferred his gaze from the road to her. "Does that bother you?"

"Only because I'll probably never see any of them ever again, and I got the impression that they expect me to be around in the future." Which she wouldn't be,couldn't be.

He shrugged off her concern. "I'll handle any questions anyone might ask about our relationship."

And he'd make it clear that they weren't an item, that she'd just been a date for the evening. The pang of regret she experienced over that thought took her off guard, and she berated herself for being so foolish, for wanting something that was completely impossible with Ryan. And while she'd seen this evening that most of his colleagues juggled a career and a long-term relationship, she knew Ryan's main focus was his commitment to his career. Judging by Haywood and Irwin's enthusiasm toward their young associate, it was obvious that Ryan's goals weren't far from his reach.

You should be proud of Ryan. He's one of our up-and-coming attorneys, and has a very promising future ahead of him at Haywood and Irwin.

Phillip Haywood's praise filtered through Jessica's mind. For as much as Ryan's future goals would consume more time than a relationship or family would permit, she couldn't begrudge him the success he sought, and deserved.

Her fingers slid along the strap of her purse, and she swallowed to relieve the odd pressure that had gathered in her chest. "Your bosses think very highly of you," she said, trying to sound optimistic for him.

He grinned, appearing pleased that he'd gained Haywood's approval. "After six years with the firm, it's nice to get the recognition I worked so hard for. The next couple of years will definitely be interesting as far as advancements go."

He had his heart set on a promotion to junior partner, which was an admirable goal, as well as one that would entail more work, more hours, and no time to cultivate a strong, lasting relationship. His commitment would be to his job, and maintaining his position within the firm.

Not that that issue mattered to her, she tried to convince herself as she glanced out the side window to the twinkling lights of the city beyond the freeway. After a few minutes of silence passed, she looked back at Ryan's strong profile and summoned the courage to express a question she'd been curious about for a while now. "What made you decide to be a divorce attorney?"

Now that the interior of the car was warm, he turned down the heater. "Honestly, it wasn'tmy decision to be a divorce attorney," he replied easily. "I originally wanted to get into corporate law."

She wasn't expecting that response, and found it interesting that he'd settled for a position so different from his primary choice. "What happened?"

"Before I graduated from law school, I was hired on at Haywood and Irwin as a law clerk until I passed the bar and became an associate. The only opening they had at the time was as a divorce attorney in the family law department, and because I had bills to pay, and Haywood is such a reputable firm, I accepted the position and made the best of it." He shrugged, and cast a quick glance at her. "Honestly, now I can't imagine doing anything else."

The message he relayed with his eyes was unmistakable-he was silently asking her to accept him for who and what he was. And in that moment, she realized somewhere along the way she'd done just that. As much as his choice of career made her too aware of her turbulent childhood, she knew they'd remain friends once the New Year's Eve party was over and they went their separate ways. And despite the sudden ache near the vicinity of her heart, she knew she had no choice but to end this tentative, sensual relationship of theirs… before things became any more emotionally complicated for her.

The Lexus came to a smooth stop, and he shut off the engine, bringing her back to the present. She glanced out the window, expecting to see her complex, and was surprised to find them parked in front of his office building. The lot was empty, and the only source of illumination came from the dim lighting in the lobby.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, curious.

He unsnapped his seat belt and turned toward her. "I need to pick up a file on a case that's going to court on Monday so I can review a few things over the weekend." He hesitated a brief moment. "Do you mind?"

Of course weekend work would consume his extra time. She experienced a twinge of regret she immediately dismissed and shook her head. "No, go ahead. I'll wait here."

"I was hoping you'd come with me." Reaching out, he fingered a strand of her hair, which she was coming to realize was a source of fascination for him. "I also wanted to show you the fabulous view from my office in the evening."

Heat seeped through her veins, and a smile tugged at her lips. "Ahh, I should have known you had ulterior motives."