"If he's given anyone anything, I doubt he obtained it through legal means."
"It shows a great strength of character that, given your upbringing, you didn't fall into a life of crime."
There was no missing the admiration in her voice, and he risked looking up from his bandaging task. That same admiration was shining in her eyes, and he quickly looked down again. Because he knew what he said next would erase it. "I did fall into it." The words felt rusty on his tongue, as he'd never admitted them to anyone before. "For a time. When I was too young to make my own decisions."
"But you changed," she whispered.
"Yes. I wanted to become someone who I could look at in the mirror and not cringe."
"And have you become that person?"
He pondered, then said, "I like to think so."
"Would it make any difference if I told you that I think you're wonderful? Extraordinary?"
Bloody hell, it made a huge difference. No matter how much he didn't want it to, it did. "Thank you. But you don't know me very well."
"I disagree."
"Which doesn't surprise me. We're very different and don't agree on very much."
"Again, I must disagree. I think we're actually very much alike. Where it really matters. In our hearts."
He pressed his lips together to keep from replying. To keep from revealing what was in his heart. If she had any idea how badly he wanted to tell the entire world and all its dictates and rules that conspired to keep them apart to go to hell, how much he wanted to selfishly steal her away from her rarified world and make her his, she'd run screaming from the room. As well she should.
Instead he said, "If by saying we're alike you mean that you are extraordinary, then I agree. You are." And he was going to miss her every day of his life once she was gone. He tied off the second bandage and said, "I'm sorry this happened to you."
"I'm not."
His head jerked up at that. And this time he found himself imprisoned by those eyes, unable to look away. "Why do you say that?"
She offered him a small smile. "Because if it hadn't, I never would have seen your home." She rose and held out her hands. "Will you show me the rest of it?"
Gideon hesitated. Not because he was embarrassed of his house. In fact, he'd worked hard to purchase it and was very proud of it. Obviously it didn't compare to what she was accustomed to, but then not much could compare to the Gatesbourne mansion on Grosvenor Square. No, this was a matter of survival. His home was his sanctuary. Already he knew he'd think of her from now on every time he entered his study. Would see her standing before his fireplace. Sitting on his sofa. If he showed her the rest of the house, she'd live in all those rooms as well. Rooms she'd never visit again but where her presence would continue to haunt him long after she left. The best thing to do, the smart thing to do, would be to take her home. Immediately.
Instead he rose. And took her hand. And showed her his house.
"It's delightful," she said, walking around the dining room then the sitting room. "Cozy, warm, and charming."
"I'm not much of a decorator, I'm afraid."
"I think it's better to have only a few very meaningful things than many items that are decorative but hold no sentimental value."
They continued to the small drawing room, the kitchen, and pantry, then through three empty bedchambers. She remained silent, and he wondered what she was thinking. When they came to the last room, he said, "My bedchamber." She entered the room without a word and walked slowly around, trailing her fingers over his dark blue counterpane and cherrywood furniture. He stood just inside the doorway, taking slow, careful breaths while his heart beat hard and fast and his entire body ached with love and desire and so damn much want he thought he would burst. He never should have brought her here. Because now that she was here, he never wanted to let her go.
After she'd walked around the entire room, she came to stand directly in front of him. And looked at him through solemn eyes. "Do you want to know what I think of your home, Gideon?"
"If you care to tell me."
"I think it is the loveliest house I've ever been in. It is cozy and delightful and a real home. It is the perfect reflection of its owner in that it is wonderful. In every way."
Bloody hell. How was he to answer that? He couldn't even find his damn voice.
"Do you know what I want, Gideon?"
No, he didn't. But he damn well knew what he wanted. And he could sum it up in one word: Julianne. In his arms. In his bed. Under him. Over him. Surrounding him. And all the reasons he couldn't have it were fleeing at an alarming rate. Still unable to locate his voice, he shook his head.
"I want to seduce you."
Chapter 22
I want to seduce you. Five little words. That's all it took to melt what was left of Gideon's resistance. He couldn't have her forever. But he could have her for right now. He needed to return her to her family. But not just yet. He tried to live his life with honor, but with this woman he knew, irrevocably, that love was stronger than honor.
He had to swallow twice to find his voice. "I don't think you'll find that a difficult task to accomplish."
"I hope not. Because I'm not quite certain how to go about it." She stepped closer, until only inches separated them. Then she rested her hands against his chest. And with that single touch, all that remained of his good intentions disintegrated to dust.
"Done," he whispered, pulling her into his arms. "I'm seduced."
He covered her mouth with his, and every rational thought fled. Julianne, Julianne… Her name pounded through his head, matching the rhythm of his heart, which surely beat hard enough to bruise his ribs. The delicious taste of her filled his mouth, and he pulled her tighter against him, plunging impatient fingers into her soft hair, wanting to touch, taste, everything at once, ravenous for her. A bit of common sense broke through the haze of need consuming him, warning him to slow down. Reminding him she was a virgin. That he should savor. Seduce. Slowly. But it was damned difficult to do when she was yanking at his shirt and squirming against him.
With a groan he broke off their kiss, then dragged his mouth down the length of her neck. Her head dropped back, and he traced her pulse with his tongue as he slowly eased her gown from her shoulders. Down her arms, then over her hips. It pooled at her feet, leaving her clad only in her chemise and stockings.
"Don't move," he said softly, then walked toward the bed.
"What are you doing?"
For an answer he struck a match and lit the lamp on his bedside table. "Giving us some light." He rejoined her and sifted his fingers through her hair. "I want to see you. All of you."
"And I want to see all of you. Right now."
Gideon smiled. "I like this impatience of yours. It nearly matches mine."
"Humph. You don't seem the least bit impatient."
"Only because I'm trying my damnedest to make this last more than fifteen seconds." His gaze swept over her chemise, and he groaned. The material was so fine he could see her coral nipples. "If it makes you feel any better, the effort is nearly killing me."
He slipped his fingers beneath the straps of the flimsy chemise and slowly slid the material downward, his gaze devouring each bit of creamy skin as it was revealed. When the garment slid off her hips to join her gown, he took her hands and helped her step from the mound of material.
Wearing nothing but her stockings, shoes, and a furious blush, she was… "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispered. He reached out and circled her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her tight nipples. "The softest thing I've ever touched." He leaned down and drew one taut nipple deep into his mouth, absorbing her gasp, loving the feel of her hands in his hair, the way she arched her back, offering more of herself.
He kissed his way to her other breast, whispering, "The most delicious thing I've ever tasted." While his lips and tongue and mouth explored her breasts, his hands skimmed the length of her smooth back, the luscious curve of her hips and buttocks.
"Gideon…" She wriggled against him then fisted her hands in his hair. "This is exceedingly unfair."
"What?" he asked, lazily circling her nipple with his tongue.
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