"Tell her, Lee. Tell her the way you feel."
"How can I? I'm not even sure myself. Perhaps she is right, perhaps the freedom of a life like hers is worth whatever it costs."
He didn't believe it. Not for an instant. "You could have a husband, Lee, a family. That's something every woman wants. It isn't fair that you should have to give those things up."
Her eyes locked with his and there was something in them he had never seen before.
"Is that a proposal, Caleb? Are you asking me to marry you?"
His stomach instantly knotted. For several long moments he simply sat there. The thought of marriage had never entered his mind. She was Vermillion, a courtesan. But after last night, he, more than anyone, knew it wasn't the truth.
He cleared his throat, needing time, groping for something to say. "What kind of a life would you have with a man like me?" He knew she was thinking he meant as the wife of a groom, but he was thinking of a man dedicated to war, one who would soon be returning to Spain.
Her features shifted, seemed to close up. She tossed her head and a brittle little laugh came from her throat. "What sort of life, indeed. Not the sort I am used to, that is for certain. You're a groom. A groom doesn't ask his employer to marry him and even if he did, it would hardly be seemly to wed one of the servants."
A muscle tightened in his cheek, though why he should be angry eluded him. He wasn't proposing, and even if he were, Vermillion would never marry the groom he pretended to be. She wouldn't give up her luxurious way of life for a man so far beneath her.
His mouth curved up, but his smile held no warmth. "You're right. A man like me is only good enough for a tumble or two before it's time to move on to someone more suitable. Was that it, Vermillion? You needed some instruction before you sold yourself to Mondale or Nash?"
Color washed into her cheeks. "That isn't true."
"Isn't it?"
She leaped up from the log and whirled toward her horse, but Caleb stepped in front of her, blocking her escape.
"Get out of my way."
"Are you sure that's what you want? We've time for another quick tumble. Perhaps you'll learn something new that might prove useful."
She jerked her small hand free and drew back to slap him, but Caleb caught her wrist. "You managed that trick before. You don't want to do it again."
"Let me go." She struggled as he hauled her against him.
"I don't think you want that any more than I do."
She pressed her palms against his chest but she was half his size and she hadn't a prayer of dislodging him. Bending his head, he captured her mouth in a rough, demanding kiss, anger riding him hard. Lee fought him for a moment, but he just kept kissing her and slowly the kiss began to gentle. He kissed her the way he had last night and little by little her struggles slowly ceased. Her hands moved over his chest, up around his neck, and her fingers tangled in his hair.
Leaning into him, she kissed him back as wildly as he was kissing her. Caleb groaned. He was achingly hard, hungry for her, ready to take what she now wanted to give him.
Instead, she eased a little away. "I gave myself to you because it was you that I wanted, Caleb. I care nothing for Mondale or Nash, or anyone else—surely you know that by now. I can't bear the thought of them touching me, making love to me as you have. I can't imagine giving myself to another man the way I have given myself to you."
Caleb read the pain in her eyes and his chest constricted. Damn them. Damn them all to bloody hell
He cursed her aunt and the others for what they were doing to her even as he cursed himself for what he had already done. Reaching out, he framed her face between his hands, settled his mouth over hers, and very softly kissed her. She tasted like expensive champagne and smelled like night-blooming flowers, and heat slid into his groin. His shaft lengthened, thickened, hardened till it was painful. His pulse ricocheted skyward and desire exploded in his blood.
They made love on the soft green grasses behind the trees. Spreading his shirt beneath them, he lay down on his back and settled her above him. At first she seemed surprised that they could make love in this way. He watched her teeth sink into her bottom lip as he lifted her a little and eased her down on his shaft, her body gloving him so perfectly he groaned. It didn't take her long to realize the power he had given her and soon she began to ride him, gently at first, then moving faster, taking him more deeply, absorbing the pleasure.
His own pleasure swelled with each of her movements. As she bent her head and kissed him, lifted herself then took him fully again, he palmed her bare breasts. Silky red hair teased his chest and he fought not to lose control.
They reached their peak together, her soft cry filling the night. A few minutes later, he rolled her onto her back and took her again, more gently this time, determined to make it good for her.
Afterward, spent and sated, they lay together in the grass, watching the moon drift by overhead. Tomorrow he would be leaving, but he could not tell her. He thought how much he had come to care for her, this innocent, free-spirited young woman, and wished that he could change things, wished there weren't so many secrets swirling around them.
It was essential that someone get inside the house.
Caleb prayed his plan would work and he could return.
And that Lee would forgive him if he did.
12
« ^ »
Dear Lord, she had spent another night making love with him! It was late morning now. She had only been away from him a few hours and yet she longed to see him again. It was madness, insanity, but she could not seem to help herself.
Lee thought of Caleb and her growing feelings for him and nervously bit her lip. When a knock sounded at the door, she was grateful for the distraction.
"I am sorry to disturb you," Jeannie said, "but your aunt wishes to see you. She is worried that you are unwell."
Suffering a hint of madness, undoubtedly, but otherwise very well indeed. "Tell her I am fine. I had a bit of a headache last night, but it is gone this morning."
Instead of leaving, Jeannie stepped into the room and quietly closed the door. "You said that you would return last night, but you did not come back until early this morning. It is not safe for you to be out there by yourself."
And even less safe to be with Caleb. Lee glanced away. "I wasn't in any danger and even if I were, I can take care of myself."
One of Jeannie's brown eyebrows went up. "Ah, no—you were with 'im! Oh, chérie, do you know what you risk?"
"As I said, I can take care of myself."
"Are you certain of that?"
Was she certain? She had never been less certain of anything in her life. And yet she knew she was doing exactly what she wanted.
She reached over and caught her friend's hand. "Listen to me, Jeannie. There isn't much time left before my birthday. I want these last two weeks for myself."
Jeannie sighed. "It is my fault this 'as 'appened. I never should 'ave encouraged you. I do not know what I was thinking."
"No, Jeannie, you were right. I don't believe I shall ever feel this way about another man. I might never have understood what it is like to truly experience passion." And love. As much as she wished to deny it, she knew she was more than half in love with him.
"Be careful, chérie. You know this cannot continue. I do not wish to see you hurt."
But that was bound to happen and Lee knew it. Once she had chosen a protector, she would be leaving Parklands, bidding a last farewell to Caleb Tanner.
Then again, perhaps Caleb would be the first to leave.
An uneasy feeling settled over her. There was something in his manner last night as he bade her farewell. She wasn't sure what it was but even now the uneasy feeling remained.
It stayed with her all through the morning, and after a light breakfast of cocoa and biscuits with her aunt, she headed straight for the stable.
"Good day ta ye, Miss Lee." Arlie shuffled toward her down the corridor in the middle of the barn, his spine bent but a smile on his wrinkled face.
"Good morning, Arlie." She glanced around for Caleb, but didn't see him.
" 'E's gone, Miss. Took off sometime afore dawn. Left ye this note, 'e did. Found it on a nail in front of Grand Coeur's stall." Arlie dragged a folded piece of paper from the pocket of his breeches and held it out to her.
Her heart was thundering. She could hear the pounding in her ears. Reaching out, she took the note and broke the drop of candle wax he had used for a seal.
Lee,
A problem has arisen and I am called away. Jacob will be returning to resume his duties on the morrow. Perhaps we shall meet again.
Your servant, Caleb Tanner
Her heart beat painfully as she read the note again, searching for some hidden meaning, some small word that told her what they had shared had meant something to him, that leaving her wasn't what he wished to do. But there was nothing of comfort in the message.
She surveyed his parting words, Your servant, Caleb Tanner. No man had ever been less of a servant and of course Caleb knew it. It was the sort of closing a gentleman might use, but Caleb wasn't a gentleman.
Or was he?
There had always been things about him that simply did not fit. His speech was that of an educated man, his manners those of the upper classes—along with his arrogance. Perhaps he was a highborn man, fallen heavily into debt and running to avoid debtors' prison. Perhaps he had done something worse. Whoever he was, she had cared for him greatly and now he was gone, casting her aside as if she had meant nothing to him at all, leaving only a brief note of farewell.
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