“Don’t,” I cried. He said, “Get out. We don’t pay for work like that.”

“But you did it,” I said.

“It was you.”

“Get out of here, you slut,” he said, “or I’ll have the police on you.” I was so frightened, I just ran out. I was in such a state I didn’t know where I was and then . suddenly I was under the horses. “

I felt angry as I listened. Poor child! To be treated so. No wonder she was afraid of life. I looked at Jane and Polly who shared my emotion. I said quietly: “Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again. Lily.”

She took my hand and kissed it, looking at me in a wondering kind of way. I thought then: I have to do something. I wish I knew what. But I should discover. Fate had brought her to me and through her I had regained my will to live. And I knew somehow that I had a duty to perform. It was to help people like Lily Craddock.

There were wicked people in the world. Men and women exploiting people, but mostly men exploiting women, for their own ends. I could clearly picture the young man who had attempted to seduce Lily and the evil man in the tailoring establishment. And the embodiment of them all was that doctor . the Devil Doctor . who had helped to ruin my husband and who had allowed my son to die.

My mind was made up. I was going to find that doctor. I was going to expose him to the world for what he was.

The prospect gave me a zest for living. I needed that so much.

Lily settled in with the utmost ease. She went through our wardrobes and mended everything that needed mending. She found some sheets which were going to be thrown away and she indignantly declared they could be turned. She found work for herself, being determined to make a worthwhile contribution to the household. She could not know how much she had done for me. Jane and Polly knew it, though; and they were indulgent towards her, protective, seeing her as the helpless little country girl who had not had the advantage of being brought up in the great metropolis.

She was making a dress for me of emerald green velvet. She had seen the material in a shop and prevailed upon me to buy it.

“With your reddish hair and those green eyes. Miss Pleydell, don’t you see … it is just the thing for you. And the dress I will make …” She sighed in ecstasy.

So I bought it to please her. I had not yet reached the stage when I could be the least interested in clothes.

One day when I returned to the house after a brief trip to the shops, I was told that a lady and gentleman were in the drawing-room. They had come ten minutes before and Jane had told them I should not be long, so they had said they would wait.

“They said they was Mr. and Mrs. St. Clare,” said Jane.

I was puzzled.

I went into the drawing-room and there was Amelia with a man whom I immediately recognized. She ran to me and embraced me. She looked younger than I remembered her.

She said: “Oh, Susanna, it is lovely to see you. I have some news for you.”

She held out her hand and Jack St. Clare took it.

“You’re … married?”

Amelia nodded.

“Oh, I am so pleased for you.”

“We have been friends for so long. It seemed foolish to wait.”

“I saw it all coming,” I told her.

“And your letters betrayed it.”

I congratulated them both and I was genuinely pleased. I was so fond of Amelia and she was the sort of woman who needed a husband. I hoped she would have children, successfully this time. But I could not bear to think of children. When I saw them in the Park my misery would overwhelm me . either that or my anger.

I asked if they would care for some refreshment. What about coffee, tea or some wine?

“Not now, thank you,” said Amelia.

“I just called to tell you we were in London.”

“For how long?”

“Only a week. We are staying with my parents.”

“Are they pleased about your marriage?”

“Delighted. I want to come and see you and talk. There’s so much to tell you. Could I come tomorrow? Jack has some business to do.”

“But of course.”

And so it was arranged; and the next day Amelia called and took tea with me.

When we had settled down and v ere alone she said: “I hope you didn’t mind my coming without warning. I know you wanted to get right away entirely but I hoped you didn’t include me in the things you wanted to get away from.”

“I certainly did not.”

“I know you have reverted to your maiden name. I have told Jack about that and he understands perfectly. I shall make sure I call you Miss Pleydell.”

“And Anna … the second part of my name. I want to be quite different.”

“I’ll remember. Sometimes I blame myself for not warning you before you married him. Stephen had an idea that you would save him. He was really very fond of his brother. Stephen wanted the marriage very much after he had met you. He said he knew you’d be strong and stable. But I knew you would have to find out before long.”

“Do you think I could have done anything, as Stephen seems to have thought I could?”

She shook her head.

“Perhaps there was a remote possibility. But I see that after the child’s death you couldn’t stay there.”

I hesitated for a moment too emotional to speak because she had brought back memories of my beautiful child.

“You see,” I stammered, “I left a healthy child and came back and found him … gone.”

“I know. I know.” And she did because she had lost children of her own.

“You see, he started this drug-taking when he was quite a young man. He read those books … and he was fascinated by that man.”

“Dr. Damien?”

“I told Stephen that was what started it, but Stephen wouldn’t have it. The man was a friend of his and Stephen thought the world of him.

He believed in all that working for mankind and so on. I never did.

The nature of the man came out in his books. All that erotica . hinted at. You could realize that he revelled in it. Aubrey met him at the Minster. He was completely bowled over. There is a hypnotic quality about him. It was soon after that meeting that Aubrey was experimenting with drugs. “

“I am sure that man has played a diabolical role in our lives,” I said.

“But one day he will be brought to justice. Believe me.”

There was a pause and then she said: “Susanna … oh no, Anna … I must remember that … what are you going to dor ” Live here until some plan comes to me. “

“It must be difficult, living as an unmarried woman when you have a husband from whom you are living apart.”

“There is no reason why that should affect me. I have taken on this house. My father rented it and now I do. Almost everything he had I have inherited. I am quite comfortable here.”

“You have a pleasant staff… sisters, isn’t it?”

“Yes. They were with my father and they are staying with me. Then there is the coachman and we have another girl now, a seamstress.”

“A seamstress! Do you mean you employ a seamstress permanently?”

“She does other things besides. She came to me in a rather special way.” I told her the story and she was most interested.

“I went into a hospital when I brought her here,” I concluded.

“It was a horrible experience and one I cannot forget. I am just haunted by the memory of all those beds close together and those poor creatures on the point of death … dirty … uncared for. I can’t bear to think of it.” She nodded, and I went on vehemently: “Something has to be done.”

“Well, at least you took the girl away and she has a good home now. By the way, my parents are having a family dinner-party … there will only be us. They want you to come.”

I hesitated.

“They know all about this and they sympathize. There’ll be no need to say anything. You’ll just be Miss Pleydell. You ought to get out now and then. I don’t suppose you do often, do you?”

I shook my head.

“It is the last thing I have wanted to do. I want to be here alone. I am well looked after. Jane and Polly would do anything for me and so would Lily Craddock and Joe the coachman.”

“It will be different coming to us. Do come.”

I still hesitated, but as she was persistent I said I would.

There was great pleasure in the household when they heard I was going to a dinner-party. I was sure that in the kitchen they had decided it would be good for me.

Lily said it would be an occasion for me to wear the green velvet dress she had made. She had added the post of lady’s maid to her duties and I had to admit that she filled it well. She had natural good taste and her attitude to me was one of almost adoration which I found a little embarrassing and not really deserved.

Joe, too, was delighted as he drove me in the carriage to the residence of Sir Harry and Lady Carberry close to the Park.

“That’s what carriages is for,” he commented complacently.

I was far less eager than the rest of them, even though my host and hostess would know my story and there was no fear of an embarrassing exposure; but all the same it did bring back to my memory times which I was trying to forget.

I was greeted warmly by Amelia and her husband and parents.

“We are not quite alone,” said Lady Carberry.

“Henrietta and her fiance called this morning and Mama asked them to dinner,” said Amelia apologetically.

“I believe you have met Henrietta.”

She was coming towards me. I remembered her well. She was the vividly attractive girl I had met at the Minster before my marriage.

“The Honourable Henrietta Marlington and her fiance. Lord Cariton,” said Lady Carberry.