“Or whatever you would’ like.” ‘s He shook his head.

“Oh, Susanna, I’m sorry … so sorry this happened.

Were you worried? ”

“Desperately^ I did not know what to do.” j “Oh my dear. That was my great anxiety. What would yo be thinking .. what would you be doing?”

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

“Dazed. Shaken a bit. No bones broken.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

He nodded.

“I went to the Freelings. I left about six. I wanted to be home before you returned. I took a short cut through one of those alleys. It was a silly thing to do.”

“Oh no! I could not get the thought of that man lying by the canal out of my mind … the blood on his clothes …”

“Two men approached me. I did not like the look of them. I turned to retrace my steps, but there were two more behind me. I was hit on the head and I just passed out.”

“Oh my dear Aubrey, how terrible! I should have made enquiries. I should have gone to the Embassy.”

“It -wouldn’t have done any good. When I came to … I don’t know how long after, I was alone … in some sort of hut. It was dark and I could see very little. But when my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness I explored a bit. I found a door. It was locked on the outside. I felt weak. I could scarcely stand. I shouted. But it seemed as if no one came that way.”

“They had robbed you, I suppose.”

“They took my purse. That was what they wanted.”

“But why did they lock you up?”

“Perhaps they didn’t want the alarm given too soon.”

“Oh … the wickedness!”

He nodded and, taking my hand, kissed it.

“There was a man with you … in the gondola,” I said.

“Yes. He brought me home. What I should have done without him I can’t imagine. I should still be in that hut.”

“I didn’t know what to do. I felt so foolish … so inadequate … so helpless. I should have made Benedetto go with me to find someone to help.”

“You did the best thing by waiting. I don’t know what I should have felt like if I had come back and found you gone.”

“What about this man?”

“While I was trying to find a means of getting out I heard footsteps.

I called out. Someone answered. Fortunately it was an Englishman and I was able to explain. He said he would go and get help. But he found a window in the place. He broke it and came in. Then he got me out. “

“And brought you back. He should have stayed so that I could have thanked him.”

“He didn’t want thanks. He was glad to help a fellow countryman in difficulties.”

“I have been afraid something like this would happen ever since I saw that man they brought out of the canal.”

“Some of the people here are so poor they would murder for a few lire.”

“Oh, Aubrey, I want to go home. I don’t want to be here any more.”

“You’re forgetting what a wonderful time we have had.”

“But this … this has spoilt everything.”

“No, my dearest, nothing can spoil what we have already had.”

He put his arm round me and I said: “I am going to get you some brandy. I am sure you need it.”

“All right. Then we’ll drink together.”

We sat talking of the night’s events and the ordeal through which we had both passed. I had never felt so frustrated, so ashamed of myself for my ignorance and inability to cope with a situation. I kept saying, “But I did not know what to do.”

He soothed me. I could see that he was very tired.

I said: “I should like you to see a doctor in the morning. You don’t know what harm has been done.”

He shook his head.

“No, no. I’m just a little shaken. I shall be all right after a night’s sleep.”

“You are going to have that at once,” I said.

I helped him undress. I tucked him in as though he were a child. He shut his eyes and was asleep almost immediately.

I lay beside him going over the events of the evening: but finally I slept.

I was awakened suddenly. It was not yet light. One of the lamps had been lighted and it threw a dim glow over the room. A man was standing by the bed.

I sat up, startled.

It was Aubrey. But it was not the Aubrey I knew. There was something different about him. He advanced towards me.

“Aubrey … what’s happened?” I cried.

“Wake up, Susanna. It’s time you woke up.”

“But…”

He stripped back the bedclothes. He put his hands to my throat and at my nightdress. It was flimsy silk and I heard the sound of ripping cloth.

“What…” I cried.

“What… are you doing …?”

He laughed a horrible jeering sort of laugh which I had never heard from him before. His hands were bruising me. I thought I was dreaming but I knew I was not. The nightmare of the eve of my wedding had become a reality.

I caught at the remains of my nightdress and tried to cover my nakedness.

“No,” he said.

“No, Susanna.” His hand shook as he seized me.

“You’re growing up tonight. You have to learn … you have to learn all sorts of things. You’re a big girl now. You always were, of course .. but you are going to be especially big from now on … It’s goodbye to innocent Susanna.” His speech was so strange and there was an odd glazed look in his eyes. I struggled but he held me down. I thought he was drunk or he was mad. Something had happened to him.

I felt sickened. I did not know this man he had become. He was a stranger to me. I wanted to run away. Where to? Could I lock myself in one of the rooms . run to the servants for protection?

I was helpless . as I had been early in the evening. It was as though I was being dragged into another world, a strange mad world where everything was different from what I had believed it to be.

But this was Aubrey my husband, the man I had sworn to love and cherish for better, for worse . in sickness and in health. He was ill. I must remember that.

He laughed at me. He laughed at my innocence and I knew that he wanted to destroy it.

He did that night. I was shattered. I was limp with exhaustion, with fear and disgust.

The ordeal must have lasted for nearly two hours. I should never forget it. I should never be the same again. My body seemed unclean. I would never have that wide-eyed innocence, that belief in the world again. I who had been naturally passionate, with a delight in loving, had experienced the corruption of that loving.

Suddenly he seemed to be exhausted.

I thanked God for that. He lay down on the bed and was asleep almost immediately.

I sat by the window looking out into the veranda and beyond to the canal. I felt bewildered, lost. I did not know what I should do. Could I leave him? How could I explain even to my father what had happened? And why had it happened? What had turned the gentle, tender lover into a depraved monster? He had made me hate him and hate myself. I felt so frustrated, so young, so inexperienced. This day had been a revelation to me. I had always thought I had been self sufficient capable, but obviously I was not, for when I was faced with a situation which I could not understand, I was helpless, unimaginative, useless.

Something had happened to Aubrey that night. What? How could he have behaved as he did? Never before had I had an inkling of that side of his nature . sensual, determined that I should be a victim and a despised victim. I was certain now that he did not love me. How could anyone behave as he had done towards a loved one? And yet how tender he had been, how considerate during the weeks of our honeymoon! How happy he had made me! And then that dreadful night! It was uncanny, supernatural, almost as though some wicked devil had come and transformed him overnight.

I wanted to get away. I wanted to hide myself. At dawn I bathed. I wanted to wash away all the impurities of that dreadful experience as though soap and water could ever do that! It was marked indelibly on my mind. I dressed and left the palazzo. I walked along by the canal. The city was just coming to life. I was faced with a dilemma once more. What should I do?

I returned to the palazzo.

Aubrey was up. He smiled at me just like the man I had known during the first weeks of our honeymoon.

“Did you feel like an early morning walk?”

I nodded. I could not go on looking at him.

He said: “I feel quite well this morning. I must have slept for hours.”

“You … you were awake in the night,” I said.

“Was I? I don’t remember. What shall we do today? I forgot to ask you if you bought the gifts.”

I was astounded. I thought to myself: He doesn’t remember! What can this mean?

“Aubrey,” I said, “I think you should see a doctor.”

“Not on your life,” he replied.

“I feel perfectly all right this morning.” He smiled at me, the open, charming smile I knew so well.

“Now don’t fuss. There’s a good girl. Don’t spoil the last days.”

I said: “Aubrey, don’t you remember? In the night… you behaved rather strangely.”

He looked bewildered and touched the back of his head.

“Did I? What did I say?”

“I didn’t understand you. You were … different.”

“Did I have a nightmare?”

“Perhaps I did.”

“Poor Susanna. It was too bad you had to be worried. That’s what I was so anxious about. My little adventure was nothing compared with what you had to put up with. Just my purse.

“Who steals my purse, steals trash.

“Twas mine, ‘tis his, and has been slave to thousands …”

I’ll tell you what, we’ll go and have a last look at our favourite spots. “

I thought: He doesn’t remember! What had happened to him? Some injury to his brain? He now looked so like the Aubrey I had always known . until last night.