James made a proper bow of greeting as Lady Irving finally took notice of him with the smallest of nods. “Ah, yes, Louisa’s young rooster.”

James straightened up, eyebrows raised so high Julia thought they might just shoot off of his forehead. “Beg pardon, ma’am?”

“Don’t ‘ma’am’ me, you rascal. I dandled you on my knee when you were in nappies. Yes, yes, don’t you pull that face at me, Matheson. Your mother and I led the ton together in our youth and married the same season. Naturally, I visited all the time when you were a babe.

“I think it is so much better to be a visitor than a parent,” she reflected. “You and your sister were darling creatures, of course. But children do so spoil the looks.” She patted her still-bright auburn hair.

“It is always a delight to hear your opinion, Lady Irving,” James replied, staring her straight in the eye. “I am especially gratified to know you remember me during my kindest and most innocent years. I do hope I never spit up on you.”

“Stuff,” said her ladyship, the hint of a smile on her face. “You are remarkably indelicate in the presence of a lady.”

“I do beg pardon, ma’am,” James replied smoothly. “I was under the impression, when you brought up nappies, that all topics of conversation were acceptable.”

The sound that came out of Lady Irving could only be described as a bark. With a nod of acknowledgment, she cast an appraising eye up and down his form before snapping to her maid to follow her up the stairs.

As Lady Irving passed by Julia on her way upstairs, the younger woman heard her aunt mutter under her breath, “At least he’s got nice legs.”

Well, that she could definitely agree with.



The household was back into a semblance of order by the evening, though Lady Irving again upset everyone at dinnertime by insisting on a strict order of precedence being observed as they all went in to dine. James had gotten rather used to meandering casually into the dining room night after night, chatting across the table, refusing every dish of fish — all behaviors that his mother (whose forceful personality he now understood a bit better, knowing she had been youthful friends with Lady Irving) would at best have frowned on, and at worst have had an apoplexy upon seeing. It was almost a novelty to have his arm seized in Lady Irving’s grip of iron and his less-than-eager steps led into the dining room.

He noticed that she was not carrying the parrot on her shoulder now. That, at least, was something to be thankful for.

Naturally, she most wanted to discuss the upcoming wedding and, once she got wind of it, the trip to Nicholls, both of which James was currently considering subjects non grata after Louisa’s less-than-ecstatic responses. He informed the gathered family of his plans to return there for a few weeks, but was effectively able to stem a storm of protest — mostly from Lady Irving and Julia, neither of whom had known of his plans to leave — by inviting everyone to come for a visit as soon as he had ensured the soundness of the house.

“I suppose that’ll do,” Lady Irving granted. “It’ll be sadly flat here without a good-looking young man to liven things up, though.”

James could only gape at her in surprise, much to the detriment of his dignity.

Without further comment, her ladyship turned to Julia and added, “That expression right there. See it? That is why I say things like that. It’s worth more than gold to me to get a viscount’s jaw to drop.”

“I want to make his jaw drop, too!” Julia cried. “James, can I?”

“If you ask me about it, you’re not likely to surprise me,” he explained. “And no. You shouldn’t try to startle people. No offense is meant, Lady Irving, but she shouldn’t come to London intending to shock the garters off the Prince Regent.”

“That would be hilarious,” Julia mused. “I wonder how I could get to meet him.”

James thought of Prinny’s good-humored debauchery, his affairs and excesses. He didn’t want Julia anywhere near the prince’s garters. He shouldn’t even have said it as a joke; the very thought was disgusting.

“You are not meeting the Prince Regent,” he told her firmly.

“Rot,” Lady Irving replied. That seemed to be a favorite word of hers.

Julia’s face lit up with anticipation. “Aunt, I must have you teach me all the rude words you know before the season begins.”

James met Louisa’s eyes helplessly, and she just shrugged.

Yes. . when faced with the combination of Julia Herington and Lady Estella Irving, what else was there to do?

Chapter 7. In Which No One Falls through Any Floors


The trip to Nicholls followed soon after Lady Irving’s arrival in Kent, although it was not soon enough for Julia. She was, as she told Louisa, simply mad with curiosity to see the place where her sister was going to live.

Well, what other reason could there possibly be for her eagerness, after all?

Every time she mentioned Nicholls, Louisa’s answering smile grew thinner. Probably, Julia realized, she was talking about it too much and making Louisa bored. But it was hard to keep quiet, especially as the set date grew closer.

The trip was planned for a week’s length, and it was ultimately decided that Louisa would be accompanied only by Julia, who was wild to see how good the house looked; Lady Irving, who was just as eager to see what a terrible state the house was in; and Simone, on whose presence Lady Irving’s every comfort was dependent. Lord and Lady Oliver were respectively preoccupied with the livestock and the children. Fortunately, in the opinion of all concerned except for Lady Irving, the parrot also failed to make one of the party, having become indispensable to young Tom, who was fascinated by the bird’s swashbuckling vocabulary.

The day of the journey to Nicholls was sunny and warm for late September. The carriage ride and a brief pause for a luncheon at a respectable-looking inn transpired with only a few complaints by Lady Irving regarding the crowding on the Olivers’ carriage seats, the stiffness of the “benighted” vehicle’s springs, the shockingly bad condition of the roads outside of London, and the fact that Julia was sitting on her skirts and crushing their silk (which today was an eye-testing bright yellow).

As they arrived at Nicholls in late afternoon, each of the four occupants of the carriage had a unique reaction upon seeing the estate.

“The grounds are so pretty,” said Julia.

“Good God, the drive is a positive cesspool,” Lady Irving observed, looking pleased. “Matheson obviously hasn’t done a thing to it.”

“I hope we will be able to get some hot water at once,” Simone commented in a low, lilting voice, looking at her hands with customary fastidiousness.

“The house is. . larger than I expected,” Louisa said, her eyes growing wider as they took in the immense breadth of the viscount’s ancestral home.

“Large is good, my girl,” Lady Irving replied. “More than you know, where men are concerned, large is good.” She cackled at what was apparently, to her, an extremely witty remark, as Julia and Louisa stared at her blankly and Simone looked pointedly out of the window.

James came out of the house to meet them himself, drawing a derogatory sniff from Lady Irving. As he helped the women down from the carriage, her ladyship commented in a lofty tone, “Although I am a countess, my dear boy, you really need not prostrate yourself like a servant for all of us.”

Julia saw Louisa’s gaze fly, chagrined, to James’s face, but the viscount only smiled benignly.

“Lady Irving, I would never deny you any attention that might make you the slightest bit more comfortable. After all, knowing you’re the same age as my mother, I thought you might benefit from some assistance into the house, especially from the steady hand of an attentive friend.”

Julia choked back a laugh, pleased to see her sister relax at James’s easy but barbed rejoinder. Lady Irving, for her part, drew her hand away from James’s arm and marched rapidly ahead of the party into the house without a backward glance. Simone stepped gingerly after her, placing her feet carefully to avoid the largest, muddiest ruts in the drive.

“I know it’s in a bit of a state.” James chatted with Julia and Louisa as he escorted them toward the house, one on each arm. “The workmen bring carts, the carts have big wheels and heavy loads — you see the result. I plan to cover it all over with crushed shell or some such thing. Unfortunately, that particular workman hasn’t come with his cart yet.” He smiled wryly. “It’s all still very much a work in progress, but I’ll do my best to make you comfortable.”

When they stepped inside the house, Julia hardly noticed the high-ceilinged entry hall or the gracefully curved main staircase. She had eyes only for Louisa, who tilted her head back to take in every detail, turning slowly.

Oddly enough, she looked worried.

James must have thought so, too. “Is something wrong?” he asked, his voice hesitant.

“I never imagined it would be like this,” Louisa admitted. “It’s so grand, absolutely huge. James, you must be a very important fellow.”

His relieved smile met her own uncertain one, and then he looked to Julia for her response.

“I think it’s lovely,” Julia reassured him, her heart lifting at his expression of relief. “It actually looks like it’s in quite good repair. Was much done during your absence?”

“To tell you the truth, it wasn’t as bad as I had feared,” James replied, his tone now eager. “We’ve always had a few servants here to keep things from completely falling apart. The problem was, many of the unused rooms were shut up, and when the roof started to leak into some of them, no one noticed for a long time. But once the roof was repaired, the plasterers and woodworkers were able to come and work their magic. We’re still under Holland covers in much of the house, but it’ll come back into use, bit by bit.”