“Hey! RUN!” She yelled over and over, but the music got louder and eventually drowned out her screams.

A figure appeared, dressed all in black. His eyes locked on hers when he pulled the trigger and shot Agent Riggins. She screamed as his head exploded and his blood splattered on the files that were strewn on the floor. Stella shook her head furiously.

“STOP! JAMIE!” she cried and screamed as loud as she could.

Jamie’s eyes never left hers when he moved to Agent Williams and shot him at point blank range. Stella closed her eyes and willed them to stay closed. She heard another shot and a body hit the floor. Richardson.

The music quieted and Jamie was standing in front of her; she felt him. Kneeling in front of her, he pulled her chair flush with his chest, his face inches from hers.

“You know I have to kill you, right?” He looked like he had in college and it made her insides seize in fear.

Stella shook her head. He leaned in and claimed her mouth with his. Her mouth betrayed her and fell in sync with his nips, tugs, and licks. He tasted of spearmint and home. Jamie broke off the kiss and kept his lips near her ear.

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong. I do.” He raised the gun to her head.

She felt the muzzle burn her temple and she squeezed her eyes closed. “Please,” she choked out.

He pulled the trigger and she screamed.

“Stella!” Patrick was sitting in the bed shaking her by her shoulders. “El! Wake up.”

Her eyes popped open and she let out a loud sob. She covered her mouth with both of her hands and he pulled her into his arms.

“You’re okay.”

Stella sagged against him. Fuck.

“What was it this time?” Patrick asked into her hair.

“Bullet to the head,” she answered lifelessly. “When will it all end? I’m so fucking tired.”

“Have you talked to your psychiatrist about your dreams?”

She nodded into his chest.

“Why are they getting worse?”

“I assume because of what we’re planning. I don’t know.” Her voice was scratchy from screaming. “I’m feeling like I’m on the edge of something deep and scary, like an abyss where I keep falling.”

“We’re close,” he whispered into her ear.

She nodded. He was the only person who knew the plan, but they needed help and she was leaving that up to him. It was his plan. His crazy, fucked up plan to use her as bait to get Jamie to attack again. This time they’d be ready. The only question was if the plan would work; would he attack at the right time or would he just kill her and that would be the end? The end of it all? She’d really decided she was fine either way.

“El! Patrick! You guys okay?” Millie called as she came down the stairs.

Patrick separated himself from Stella, squeezing her shoulder before moving away.

Stella wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her left hand. “Sorry, Mil. I had another dream where Jamie killed me.” She put on a fake smile. “Nothing new.”

“Why is your medication not working? You really need to get that worked out.” Millie sat down on the opposite side of the bed as Patrick. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

Stella stopped wiping her face for a minute. “Really? Would you?”

Millie nodded and lay down next to Stella, moving Cooper with her foot.

“Wait, can I stay too?” Patrick asked excitedly. “This is like a dream—”

Millie threw a pillow, interrupting him. “Girls only.”

“That sucks.” He shrugged. “Can I at least tuck my girls in?”

“Get out of here, perv!” Millie threw another pillow at him.

Stella felt Millie’s fingers entwine with hers and she squeezed her best friend’s hand. “I love you, Mil. Thank you.”

“Of course, asshole.”

* * *

“My dreams are getting much worse.” Stella was sitting cross-legged in the wingback chair facing Denise. She shook her head, remembering the most recent one.

“What was this last dream about, Stella?” Denise asked.

“About the guy who shot me and him killing me this time.”

“Well, that’s a reasonable dream for someone who’s been through the trauma you have,” Denise soothed.

“But I don’t want to have these dreams anymore.” Stella pulled out the pen that was holding her hair in a loose bun and reached it down into her cast to scratch an itch. She sighed in relief.

“I understand, Stella, but I think while the threat is still very real to you, that’s just not going to happen. Your dreams are your biggest fears coming true.”

Jamie kissing her and her liking it was something she feared in a deep, distant way, but it was in no way the worst fear of the dream.

Denise took a sip of her tea. “You told me that you have an active death threat. It makes sense that while all of your fears are coming close to reality, your dreams would be getting more active.”

“Honestly, my biggest fear isn’t me dying,” Stella responded. This was a full disclosure place, right?

“What is your biggest fear?”

She took in a breath. It scared her so much she didn’t want to say it out loud. If only Denise knew how close it was to being a reality.

“Biggest fear, Stella,” Denise prompted.

Stella examined her hands.

“You want to know mine?” Denise asked. “Something happening to my kids. I’m afraid that’s something that would be so devastating that my entire world would change.”

“I’m afraid that George will be killed because of me,” Stella blurted out.

Denise looked up. “That’s perfectly reasonable.”

“I’ve been through that sort of pain, that loss, and I’m honestly not sure I can do it again. Add on top of that pain, the knowledge that I’m the reason behind his death would end me.” Stella was frozen with the reality that she’d just said that out loud. This was something she wanted to keep buried deep and not even acknowledge the possibility.

“Stella,” Denise’s voice was calm, “you aren’t responsible for the actions of a sadistic psychopath.”

“If George wasn’t anywhere near me, that sadistic motherfucker wouldn’t even know his name,” Stella spit out.

“Stella, I need you to do something for me,” Denise said, setting her tea down. “This is going to be hard for you.”

“Well, all of this is hard for me.”

“We need to get everything out in the open. I’ve put some things together since you’ve been getting therapy and I’m going to ask you a series of questions I want you to answer.”

Stella shrugged. “Okay, that doesn’t seem that difficult.”

“I want honest, truthful, nothing-omitted answers,” Denise cajoled.

Silence. Stella didn’t know if she could do that.

“I will never speak a word of the next 30 minutes to anyone. It wouldn’t matter if you told me you were going to leave this office and go kill someone. Do you understand?”

“You’d be breaking the law,” Stella said matter-of-factly.

Denise’s eyes took on an edge that Stella hadn’t seen before. “I don’t fucking care.”

Stella was taken aback by Denise’s words and then a smile spread across her face. She nodded at Denise to start.

* * *

Patrick and Stella were running a different route today and headed toward the city following the Potomac. It was a beautiful run by the river even when it was still dark outside. The moon reflected in the river made the run very dream-like and allowed Stella to get caught up in the scenery, distracting her from thinking about not being able to breathe. They’d just gotten their pace down when Patrick cleared his throat.

“I’ve been thinking, and I don’t like your plan right now.” He looked at her, but the darkness masked his features and she couldn’t tell if he was concerned or just being condescending.

“Well, come up with something better,” she said.

“I have.”

Silence.

“Well? What is it?” she asked impatiently.

Patrick kept his gaze straight ahead. “Need to know.”

“What the fuck do you mean, need to know? It’s my plan!” She stopped running; he didn’t. She had to race to catch up with him. “Patrick?”

“First of all, it’s our plan. We came up with it together, and honestly, I don’t know if getting the FBI to interview and arrest Jamie will end this.” He looked straight ahead.

“Sure it will.” She was positive she had a plan in place that would get Jamie out of their hair where he couldn’t hurt them.

“I don’t think we’re thinking about all the angles.”

“What angles are we missing?” Stella stared at him, trying to analyze his features.

“I’m concerned that the ATF is going to protect him, El. He was under for four fucking years to bust this group. They’re going to do everything they can to support him. And the fact that the FBI has been snooping around has made the atmosphere at the agency a little interesting.”

“Interesting?” she asked, not understanding his meaning.

“They aren’t going to let this happen. They’ll put him back under where it would be top secret where he’s located. We’ve got to come at this a different way.”

“What?” She felt like she did when she fell off the monkey bars when she was little, landing on her back in a heap. All of her confidence in her plan withered and disappeared.

“I also think he may be in deep shit with the group he was under with,” Patrick continued.

“No shit,” she said, that familiar hardness shoving its way back into her mind.

“No, I’m positive they don’t know he’s ATF. They think he’s on the run because of the bombing and he did steal that money from them when he left. Then you took it from him. They’re hunting him now.”