“Major,” said Ina, “I don’t know if they’re allowing anyone near you after this afternoon.”
Alexander glanced at the plainclothed men. “It was a little accident, Ina, nothing to worry about. Do me a favor, though, don’t tell Nurse Metanova, all right? You know how she gets.”
“I know how she gets. You better be good from now on, or I’ll tell her.”
“I’ll be good, Ina.”
Sayers came a few minutes later, sat down cheerfully, and said, “What’s going on, Major? What’s this about some private’s arm? What happened?”
Shrugging, Alexander said, “He lost the arm wrestle.”
“I’ll say he lost. What about his broken nose? Did he lose the nose wrestle, too?”
“Dr. Sayers, listen to me. Forget him for a second.” Alexander summoned his remaining will to speak. What strength he once possessed had left his body and gone to a tiny girl with freckles.
“Doctor,” he said quietly, “when we first spoke about—”
“Don’t say it. I know.”
“You asked me what you could do to help, remember? And I said to you,” Alexander continued, “that you owed me nothing.” He paused, collecting himself. “It turns out I was wrong. I desperately need your help.”
Sayers smiled. “Major Belov, I’m already doing all I can for you. Your terminal nurse is quite a persuader.”
My terminal nurse.
Shrinking into himself, Alexander said, “No, listen carefully. I want you to do just one thing for me, and only one.”
“What is it? If I can do it, I will.”
With a halting voice, Alexander said, “Get my wife out of the Soviet Union.”
“I am, Major.”
“No, Doctor. I mean now. Take my wife, take—” He could not get the words out. “Take Chernenko, the prick with the broken arm,” he whispered, “and get them out.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Doctor, we have very little time. Any minute someone is going to call you away from me, and I won’t be able to finish.”
“You’re coming with us.”
“I am not.”
In agitation, Sayers exclaimed, “Major, what the hell are you talking about?” In English.
“Shh,” said Alexander. “You will need to leave tomorrow at the absolute latest.”
“What about you?”
“Forget about me,” Alexander said firmly. “Dr. Sayers, Tania needs your help. She is pregnant — did you know that?”
Sayers shook his head, dumbstruck.
“Well, she is. And she’s going to be very scared. She is going to need you to protect her. Please get her out of the Soviet Union. And protect her.” Alexander stared away from the doctor. His eyes filled with . . . the river Kama, with the soap on her body. They filled with . . . her hands going around his neck and her warm breath in his ear, whispering, potato pancakes, Shura, or eggs?
They filled with . . . her coming out of Grechesky Hospital in November, small, alone, wearing a big coat, her eyes at her feet; she couldn’t even lift her eyes as she walked past him to her Fifth Soviet life, alone to her Fifth Soviet life.
“Save my wife,” whispered Alexander.
In an emotional voice Dr. Sayers said, “I don’t understand anything.”
Shaking his head, Alexander said, “Do you see the casually dressed men you had to walk past on your way here? Those are NKVD men. Remember I told you about the NKVD, Doctor? What happened to my mother and father, and to me?”
Sayers paled.
“The NKVD enforces the law of this great land. And they are here for me — again. Tomorrow,” Alexander said, “I will be gone. Tania cannot stay here a minute after that. She is in grave danger. You must get her out.”
The doctor still didn’t understand. He protested, he shook his head. He became increasingly nervous. “Alexander, I will call the U.S. consulate personally. I’ll call them tomorrow on your behalf.”
Alexander became worried about the doctor. Could he even do what was needed? Could he keep his composure when he would need it the most? He didn’t seem composed in the least. “Doctor,” Alexander said, keeping his own composure, “I know you don’t understand, but I don’t have time to explain. Where is this U.S. consulate? In Sweden? In England? By the time you call them and they reach the U.S. State Department back home, the Mekhlis blue boys will have taken not only me but her, too. What does Tatiana have to do with America?”
“She is your wife.”
“I have only my Russian name, the name I married her under. By the time the United States gets together with the NKVD to clear up the confusion, it’ll be too late for her. Forget me, I said. Just take care of her.”
“No,” Sayers said. He bucked, he couldn’t sit. He walked around Alexander’s bed, adjusted his blankets.
“Doctor!” Alexander exclaimed. “You have no time to think this through, I know. But what do you think will happen to a Russian girl once it’s discovered she is married to a man suspected of being an American and infiltrating the Red Army’s high command? What use do you think the Commissariat of Internal Affairs will have for my pregnant Russian wife?”
Sayers was mute.
“I’ll tell you what use — they will use her as leverage against me when they interrogate us. Tell us everything, or your wife will be ‘strictly judged.’ Do you know what that means, Doctor? It means I will be forced to tell them everything. I won’t stand a chance. Or they will use me as leverage against her. Your husband will be safe, but only if you tell the truth. And she will. And afterward—”
Shaking his head, Sayers said, “No! We will put you in my ambulance right now and take you back to Leningrad, to Grechesky. Right now. Get up. And from there we will drive to Finland.”
“Fine,” said Alexander. “But those men” — he nodded in their direction — “will come with us. They will come with us every step of the way. You won’t get either of us out.”
Alexander could see that Dr. Sayers was grasping at what he could. Glancing toward the door, to Ina, to the shuffling, smoking men standing chatting with her, Alexander shook his head. Sayers was not getting it.
“What about him? Chernenko? I don’t know him or owe him anything.”
“You must take him,” whispered Alexander. “After this afternoon, he finally understood. He thought I would sacrifice her to save myself because he could not imagine any other way. Now he knows the truth. He also knows I will not sacrifice her to destroy him. I will not keep her from escaping to keep him from escaping. And he is right. So take him. It’ll help her, and I don’t give a shit about anything else.”
Dr. Sayers was at a loss for words.
“Doctor,” said Alexander gently, “stop fighting for me. She does that. I don’t want you to worry about me; my fate is sealed. But hers is wide open. Concern yourself only with her.”
Rubbing his face, Dr. Sayers said, still shaking his head, “Alexander, I’ve seen that girl—” His voice broke. “I’ve seen that girl drain her lifeblood into you. I’m fighting for you because I know what it will do to her—”
“Doctor!” Alexander was nearly at the end of his tether. “You’re not helping me. Don’t you think I know?” He closed his eyes. Everything she had she gave to me.
“Major, do you think she’ll even go without you?”
“Never,” said Alexander.
“God! So what can I possibly do?” Sayers exclaimed.
“She must never know I’ve been arrested. If she finds out, she will not go. She’ll stay — to find out what happened to me, to help me in some way, to see me one last time, and then it will be too late for her.”
Alexander told Dr. Sayers what they had to do.
“Major, I can’t do that!” Sayers exclaimed.
“Yes, you can. It’s just words from you, Doctor. Words and an impassive face.”
Sayers shook his head.
“Many things can go wrong. And they will,” said Alexander. “It’s not a perfect plan. It’s not a safe plan. It’s not a foolproof plan. But we have no choice. If we’re to succeed at all, we must use all the weapons at our disposal.” Alexander paused. “Even the ones with no ammunition.”
“Major, you’re out of your mind. She will never believe me,” said Sayers.
Alexander grabbed the doctor’s wrist. “Well, that will depend on you, Doctor! The only chance she has of living is if you get her out. If you waver, if you’re unconvincing, if when faced with her grief you weaken and she sees for a split second that you are not telling her the truth, she will not go. If she thinks I’m still alive, she will never go, remember that, and if she doesn’t go, know that she has days before they come for her.” Stricken, Alexander said, “When she sees my empty bed, she will break down in front of you, her façade will crumble, and she will raise her tearful face to yours and say, ‘You’re lying, I know you’re lying. I can feel he’s still alive,’ and that’s when you will look at her and you’ll want to comfort her, because you’ve seen her comfort so many. Her grief will be too much for you to take. She will say to you, ‘Tell me the truth, and I will go with you anywhere.’ You will pause just for a second, you will blink, you will purse your lips, and in that instant know, Doctor, that you are condemning her and our baby to prison or death. She is very persuasive, and she is very hard to say no to, and she will keep on at you until you break down. Know — that when you comfort her with the truth, you will have killed her.” Alexander let go of Sayers’s wrist. “Now, go. Look her in the eye and lie. Lie with all your heart!” His voice nearly gone, Alexander whispered, “And if you save her, you will help me.”
There were tears in Sayers’s eyes as he stood up. “This fucking country,” he said, “is too much for me.”
“Me, too,” said Alexander, extending his hand. “Now, can you get her for me? I need to see her one last time. But come with her. Come with her and stand by my side. She is shy with other people around. She will have to be distant.”
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