“You were right, Dasha,” said Tatiana.

“Isn’t it incredible that you met him?”

“Isn’t it?” said Tatiana without feeling, standing up and wanting to get out of the room, but Dasha blocked the door with her twitching body, unwittingly challenging Tatiana, who was not up to a fight, not a big one, not a small one. Challengeless, she said and did nothing. That’s the way it had always been. Dasha was seven years older. She was stronger, smarter, funnier, more attractive. She always won. Tatiana sat back down on the bed.

Dasha sat next to Tatiana. “What about Dimitri? Did you like him?”

“I guess. Listen, don’t worry about me, Dash.”

“Who’s worried?” Dasha said, ruffling Tatiana’s hair. “Give Dima a chance. I think he actually liked you.” Dasha said that almost as if she were surprised. “Must be your dress.”

“Must be. Listen, I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

Dasha put her arm on Tatiana’s back. “I really like Alexander, Tania,” she said. “I like him so much, I can’t even explain.”

Tatiana felt a chill. Having met Alexander, having walked with Alexander, having smiled at Alexander, Tatiana grimly understood that Dasha’s relationship with him was not some transient fling soon to be ended on the steps of Peterhof or in the gardens of the Admiralty. Tatiana had no doubt her sister meant it this time. “Don’t explain anything, Dasha,” said Tatiana.

“Tania, someday you’ll understand.”

Squinting sideways, Tatiana looked up at her sister sitting on the edge of the bed. She opened her mouth. A moment passed.

She wanted to say, but, Dasha, Alexander crossed the street for me.

He got on the bus for me, and went to the outskirts of town for me.

But Tatiana couldn’t say any of that to her older sister.

What she wanted to say to Dasha was, you’ve had plenty. You can get yourself a new one any time you want. You’re charming and bright and beautiful, and everybody likes you. But him I want for myself.

What she wanted to say was, but what if he likes me best?

Tatiana said nothing. She wasn’t sure any of it was true. Especially the last part. How could he like Tatiana best? Look at Dasha with her hair and her flesh. And maybe Alexander crossed the street for Dasha, too. Maybe he went across town, across the river for Dasha at three o’clock in the bright morning when the Neva bridges were up. Tatiana had nothing to say. She closed her mouth. What a waste, what a joke it all had been.

Dasha studied her. “Tania, Dimitri is a soldier. . . . I don’t know if you’re quite ready for a soldier.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing. But we might need to spruce you up a bit.”

“Spruce me up, Dasha?” said Tatiana, her heart backing into her lungs.

“Yes, you know, maybe a little lipstick, maybe have a little talk . . .” Dasha pulled Tatiana’s hair.

“Maybe we’ll do that. Another day, though, all right?”

In her white dress with red roses, Tatiana curled up, facing the wall.


3


Alexander was walking fast down Ligovsky.

They were silent for a few minutes, and then Dimitri, still not catching his breath, said, “Nice family.”

“Very nice,” said Alexander calmly. He was not out of breath. And he did not want to talk to Dimitri about the Metanovs.

“I remember Dasha,” Dimitri said, barely keeping up with Alexander. “I’ve seen her with you a few times at Sadko, haven’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Her sister is something, though, don’t you think?”

Alexander didn’t reply.

Dimitri continued. “Georgi Vasilievich said Tania was nearly seventeen.” His head shuddered. “Seventeen! Remember us at seventeen, Alexander?”

Alexander kept on walking. “Too well.” He wished he could remember himself at seventeen less. Dimitri was talking to him. “I didn’t hear. What?”

“I said,” Dimitri said patiently, “do you think she is a young seventeen or an old seventeen?”

“Too young for you, Dimitri, regardless,” Alexander said coolly.

Dimitri was silent. “She is very pretty,” he finally said.

“Yes. Still too young for you.”

“What do you care? You’re close to the older sister, I’m going to get to know the younger.” Dimitri chuckled. “Why not? We could make a . . . foursome, don’t you think? Two best friends, two sisters . . . there’s a symmetry—”

“Dima,” said Alexander, “what about Elena last night? She told me she liked you. I can introduce you next week.”

Waving him off, Dimitri said, “You actually talked to Elena?” He laughed. “No. I can get dozens like Elena. Besides, why not Elena, too? No. Tatiana is not like the others.” He rubbed his hands together and smiled.

Not a muscle moved on Alexander’s face. Not a tic in his eye, not a tightening of his lips, not a furrowing of his brow. Nothing moved, except his legs, faster and faster down the street.

Dimitri broke into a trot. “Alexander, wait. About Tania . . . I just want to make sure . . . you don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course, not, Dima,” Alexander said evenly. “Why would I?”

“Absolutely!” He slapped Alexander on the back. “You’re a good man. Quick question — do you want me to arrange entertainment for—”

“No!”

“But you’ll be on duty all night. Come on, we’ll have fun like always?”

“No. Not tonight.” He paused. “Not again, all right?”

“But—”

“I’m late,” said Alexander. “I’m going to run. I’ll see you at the barracks.”


UNCHARTED TIDES

THE next morning when Tatiana woke up, the first image in her mind was Alexander’s face. Tatiana did not speak to Dasha, tried in fact not to look at her sister, who, as she was leaving said, “Happy birthday.”

“Yes, Tanechka, happy birthday,” said Mama, hurrying out. “Don’t forget to lock up.”

Papa kissed her on the head and said, “Your brother is seventeen today, too, you know.”

“I know that, Papa.”

Papa worked as a pipe engineer at the Leningrad waterworks plant. Mama was a seamstress at a Nevsky hospital uniform facility. Dasha was an assistant to a dentist. She had worked for him since leaving university two years ago. They had had a romance, but once it was over, Dasha continued there because she liked the job. It paid well and demanded little from her.

Tatiana went to Kirov, where the whole morning she sat in on meetings and patriotic speeches. The manager of her department, Sergei Krasenko, asked if anyone wanted to join the People’s Volunteer Army to dig trenches down south to help defeat the hated Germans.

Today the German was hated. Yesterday he was beloved. What about tomorrow?

Yesterday Tatiana had met Alexander.

Krasenko continued to speak. The fortifications north of Leningrad, along the old frontier with Finland, were to be put into full defensive order. The Red Army suspected that the Finns were going to want Karelia back. Tatiana perked up. Karelia, Finland. Alexander spoke about that yesterday. Alexander . . . Tatiana perked down.

The women listened to Krasenko, but no one sprang up to volunteer for anything. No one, that is, except Tamara, the woman who followed Tatiana on the assembly line. “What have I got to lose?” she whispered with fervor as she scrambled to her feet. Tatiana had suspected that Tamara’s job was just too boring.

Today before lunch she received goggles, a protective mask for her hair, and a brown factory coat. After lunch she was no longer packaging spoons and forks. Now small cylindrical metal bullets came to her down the assembly line. They fell by the dozen into small cardboard containers, and Tatiana’s job was to put the containers into large wooden crates.

At five o’clock Tatiana took off her coat and her mask and goggles, splashed water on her face, retied her hair into a neat ponytail, and left the building. She walked on Prospekt Stachek, along the famous Kirov wall, a concrete structure seven meters tall that ran fifteen city blocks. She walked three of those blocks to her bus stop.

And waiting for her at the bus stop was Alexander.

When she saw him — Tatiana couldn’t help herself — her face lit up. Putting her hand on her chest, she stopped walking for a moment, but he smiled at her and she blushed and, gulping down whatever was in her throat, walked toward him. She noticed that his officer’s cap was in his hands. She wished she had scrubbed her face harder.

The presence of so many words inside her head made her incapable of small talk, just at the time when she needed small talk most. “What are you doing here?” she asked timidly.

“We’re at war with Germany,” Alexander said. “I have no time for pretenses.”

Tatiana wanted to say something, anything, not to let his words linger in the air. So she said, “Oh.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you doing something special tonight?”

“I don’t know. Today is Monday, so everyone will be tired. We’ll have dinner. A drink.” She sighed. In a different world, perhaps, she might have invited him over for dinner on her birthday. Not in this world.

They waited. Somber people stood all around them. Tatiana did not feel somber. She thought, but is this what I’m going to look like when I’m here by myself, waiting for the bus like them?

Is this what I am going to look like for the rest of my life?

And then she thought, we’re at war. What is the rest of my life even going to look like?

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“Your father told me yesterday you worked at Kirov. I took a chance you’d be waiting for the bus.”

“Why?” she asked lightly. “Have we had so much luck with public transportation?”

Alexander smiled. “You mean we in the sense of the Soviet people? Or do you mean you and I?”

She blushed.