Julie Garwood - Saving Grace

He caught hold of her hand before replying. "I'm not in the mood to negotiate, wife. What reason would you have to pretend to faint in front of Auggie?"

"It weren't a pretense, Laird. I'd be knowing the difference."

"I'll be happy to discuss this matter in privacy with you," Johanna whispered.

"I took her over to Glynis to gain some advice," Auggie announced.

"Does our laird think she pretended to faint last night?" Bryan asked.

"She's mean enough to try to trick us," Lindsay commented.

Calum was in agreement with the Maclaurin. "Aye, she is mean enough."

Johanna was aghast by the men's insults against her character. She jerked her hand away from her husband's hold and turned to the soldiers.

"How can you say I'm mean?" she cried out.

"'Cause you are, m'lady," Bryan cheerfully told her.

She turned back to Gabriel. She fully expected him to come to her defense.

He fully expected her to tell him what the hell was the matter with her.

"Gabriel, how can you allow your men to defame me?"

"It's a compliment they're giving you, damn it. You will give me your full attention. When I ask a question, I expect to have it answered."

"Yes, of course you do," she agreed, trying to soothe him. "It's just that now isn't the time…" Her mind was still focused on the soldiers' opinion of her. "I cannot believe you think I'm mean!" she cried out.

"You killed our pet and three others," Calum reminded her.

"That was necessary, not mean."

"You came up with the plan to blind the noser," Keith said.

"Blindfold him," she corrected.

"You put an arrow in the MacInnes soldier. That was damned mean, m'lady."

"I'd do it again," she announced. She wasn't about to pretend she was sorry she'd injured the soldier. He had meant to kick Clare MacKay, and she couldn't let that happen.

"Aye, you would do it again," Keith agreed. "And that's the reason we're all thinking you're a mean one, m'lady. It's an honor to have you for our mistress."

Grunts of approval followed Keith's compliment. Johanna became flustered. She brushed her hair back over her shoulders in an attempt to act as though she hadn't been overly affected by Keith's remarks. "I suppose it's all right for you to call me mean, men, but you won't be saying such things in front of my mama. She wouldn't understand."

"Johanna!"

Gabriel shouted her name. She decided he'd run out of patience. He had waited a long while to get her full attention. She turned back to her husband and smiled up at him. "Did you want something, m'lord?" His eyelid twitched. He'd used up all his patience all right. Johanna braced herself and then blurted out, "I didn't pretend to faint the first time and I did faint again this afternoon. However," she quickly added before he could start in bellowing again, "I'm really not sick. Glynis explained what was wrong with me."

"You're going to bed."

"I knew you would overreact!" she cried out. He took hold of her hand and turned to drag her across the hall. She wasn't being very cooperative. She kept trying to pull away. "How long must I stay in bed?"

"Until you've recovered from whatever it is ailing you," he commanded. "Damn it, I knew you weren't strong enough to last a full year."

Her gasp filled the hall. She'd taken grave exception to his remark. The soldiers were all watching, of course, and when they heard their laird's comment and his wife's reaction, they smiled in unison.

"If you believed I was such a weakling, you shouldn't have married me."

He grinned. She jerked her hand away from his and backed up a space before he could catch hold of her again.

"I'm wagering she's about to get mean again," Lindsay said.

Father MacKechnie shook his head. "Not with our laird," he told the soldier. "She's partial to the MacBain."

"She doesn't look partial to him now," Bryan said. "Her scowl's every bit as set as his is."

Johanna wasn't paying any attention to the soldiers' mutterings. Her concentration was centered on her stubborn husband. "You're sorry you married me, aren't you?"

He didn't answer her fast enough. "You only married me to get the land, and after I'm dead and gone, you'll have to remember to marry a big giant of a woman, preferably one who can belch as loud as any of your men."

The look on his face gave her pause.

"You will not die."

He'd whispered his command in a harsh voice filled with anguish. She was stunned. Gabriel sounded terrified.

"I will not lose you."

"No, you will not lose me."

She walked forward and took hold of his hand. Tears filled her eyes as she stared up at the wonderful man trying to glare some sense into her.

He loved her. He hadn't given her the words yet, but the proof was there in his eyes. Johanna felt overwhelmed.

They went up the steps leading to the entrance together. She could feel him shaking. She didn't want him to worry any longer, and so she stopped at the foot of the stairs leading up to the bedchambers and turned to her husband.

The men were all craning their necks to see what was happening, but they were too far away to hear the conversation.

"Gabriel, do you remember my concern before we were married?"

"You had too many concerns for me to keep track of, wife. Don't push my hands away. I'm going to carry you upstairs. Don't you realize you could break your neck if you fainted while trying to climb these steep steps? You may not be worried about your welfare, but I sure as hell am."

He knew he was wearing his heart on his sleeve. He didn't like feeling this vulnerable. "What will your mother say when she arrives and finds her daughter dead?" he muttered.

She smiled. "Mama's going to like you, Gabriel."

Her husband looked exasperated. He lifted her into his arms. She immediately kissed him.

"You're still going to bed," he announced.

"On the night after we were married, I told you I was barren."

"No, you didn't. Nicholas told me."

She nodded. "On our wedding night, I'm certain I mentioned it."

He nodded. "Yes, you did," he said. "Several times in fact."

He started up the steps. She rested her head against his shoulder. Her fingers were fully occupied stroking the back of his neck.

She wondered if their baby would have her husband's coloring. She thought she might like to have a little girl, then decided she would be just as happy with a boy.

"I'm not," she whispered with a sigh.

She waited for him to understand. He didn't say anything until they reached their bedchamber.

"Did you hear what I just said? I'm not," she repeated.

"You're not what?"

"I'm not barren."

He opened the door but hesitated at the threshold. His gaze was fully directed on his wife. He slowly lowered her to the floor. "Do you honestly believe it matters to me? You and Alex are all the family I want. I don't need another child. Damn it, woman, haven't you realized yet how much I… you mean more to…"

Hell, he was rambling like an old woman. He motioned for her to go inside. "Warriors do not concern themselves with matters of love," he muttered.

He looked miserable. She didn't smile. She knew he didn't like telling her what he was feeling.

It was a trait they both shared, she realized.

"Gabriel…"

"I don't ever want you to bring up the fact that you're barren, Johanna. Now quit fretting."

She strolled into their chamber. "You may not need another child, m'lord, but I do declare in six or seven months you're going to be getting one."

He didn't understand. He shook his head. She nodded. "We're going to have a baby."

For the first time in his life, Gabriel MacBain was rendered speechless. His wife believed that was a most appropriate reaction.

They had, after all, just been given a miracle.

"You're certain?"

Gabriel whispered his question so his son wouldn't wake up. Alex was sleeping on a mat across the chamber. Only the top of his head was visible above the mound of covers Johanna felt he needed to stay warm.

She and her husband were in bed. Gabriel held Johanna in his arms. She was so relieved he was finally reacting, she let out a little sigh. She'd given Gabriel her good news over an hour ago, then waited for him to tell her how happy she'd made him. He hadn't said a word until now.

"I have all the symptoms," she whispered back. "I was disbelieving at first, of course, because I thought I was barren for a very long while. Are you happy about the baby, Gabriel?"

"Yes."

She sighed again. It was too dark in the chamber to see his face, but she guessed he was smiling.

"Glynis told me a woman can be barren with one man and fertile with another. Do you know what that means?"

"What?"

"Men can be barren, too."

He laughed. She hushed him so he wouldn't wake Alex. "Your first husband obviously was," he said.

"Why does that please you?"

"He was a bastard."

She couldn't fault his reasoning. "Why don't men acknowledge that they could be the barren ones in a marriage?"

"Such an admission would wound their pride, I suppose. It's easier to blame the women. It isn't right, just easier."

She let out a loud, lusty yawn. Gabriel was stroking her back. The caress made her sleepy. He asked her something, but she was too tired to answer him. She closed her eyes and was dead to the world a minute later.