“How the hell would you know?” Jesse demanded. “Calling me a bastard. Hello, pot meet kettle. You’ve gone around the bend since you started seeing Vicki, and I don’t like the changes.”

Joel jerked to a stop. “I’ve changed?”

“Yes. God damn.” Jesse slammed a foot into his tire and stomped away, cussing. He twirled back, anger painting his features. “But let’s get this straight off the start. It’s not like I’m pissed that you’re fooling around without me.”

“That’s what it seems like.”

“Fuck it. Doing the same girl was a kink, that’s all.” Jesse folded his arms. “And I can’t believe I’m saying this, because it’s so fucking emo I should be all of twelve, but it’s the time we spent together I miss, okay? It’s like, you don’t want to fool around with the same girl, fine. That means you also don’t want to hang out with me? Or go to parties? It’s as if you’re fucking avoiding me.”

Joel stared at his brother in shock. “Of course I’m not avoiding you, idiot.”

Jesse lifted a hand and showed fingers as he spoke. “Friday nights at Traders, if you show, you’re sitting with her, or dancing with her, or watching her, or you’re not here. Chores, you’ve been switching out and working with Travis or Matt most of the time. What’s the issue, do I smell?”

It was Joel’s turn to want to roll his eyes, but he kept in control and listened to the continuing tirade.

“I asked you to come out to the party in Red Deer, you didn’t feel like it. You didn’t want to head to Calgary for the concert. You said no to the dance in Sundre.”

“Vicki couldn’t go that night.” Joel swore. “Do you not get this? I’m not on some kind of anti-Jesse campaign, just I’m doing things with her—”

“And Travis and Matt, and fuck, even Daniel and Blake more than me.”

Joel stilled. Really listened. Hell. “You feel left out, don’t you?”

“Oh, screw that.”

“No, that’s what you said, you miss spending time with me.”

Jesse dragged his hand through his hair. “No. Yes. Hell, I don’t know anymore.”

Joel shook his head. This was something he’d never anticipated, and yet suddenly it made sense. “Jesse, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you out. It’s just that Vicki…”

Damn. He was stuck. He couldn’t tell Jesse about her fears regarding their reputation without sharing things with his twin he had no right to share.

“Yeah, that’s the problem, isn’t it? Vicki.”

“Stop pouting like a two year old,” Joel snapped. “I’m trying to figure out what I can say to fix this, but you’re making it damn tough when you’re being a spoiled ass.”

All the good things about the family that Joel had been so proud to show off to Vicki, the opposite emotion seemed to be staring him down right now.

Jesse was jealous. That was the only possible answer, and there was no solution for it. The fact was whichever of them had gotten involved with someone first, the other was going to be left out.

The days of living in each other’s pockets were over.

“Jesse, I’ll work on being around more, but I can’t guarantee I’ll hang out with you as much as I used to. It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, but I like time with the others too.”

He wasn’t doing this well. Jesse stiffened even more, his usually happy smile fading away. “So that’s it, then. You’re going to give up on family for a girl.”

This was ridiculous. It was obvious Jesse wasn’t listening and didn’t want to hear, so Joel wasn’t going to try to explain anymore. “I’m not giving up on family, Jesse, but I don’t want to stay a kid. And growing up means changing. No matter how much you dislike that, it’s true.”

Jesse nodded, lips set together. “I’ll see you around then.”

He yanked open his truck door and jumped in. Joel stepped out of the way to avoid being sprayed with gravel as Jesse gunned it out of the parking lot and fishtailed onto the highway without stopping.

Stupid, immature asshole. Regret filled Joel, though, that there was a chasm between the two of them. But bar dropping Vicki completely and going back to being at Jesse’s beck and call, he didn’t see a solution.

Even come the spring when Vicki was gone, he didn’t want to return to being Jesse’s stooge. He liked doing stuff with his brother, but he didn’t want to have to rescue him, or bail him out, or follow meekly behind for the rest of his life.

It was time to grow up. This was just the start. What would it be like down the road when he fell in love?

The thought made this weird sensation twist inside, both imagining Vicki being gone, and finding someone new. He was enjoying his time with her very much, and as he rejoined her inside, scooping her up and placing her in his lap to the great amusement of his cousins, Joel found a little respite from his tension.

Vicki cupped his face gently. “You okay?”

He should have been the one asking her, and here she was, caring for him. It was humbling. “Jesse’s sorry. He didn’t mean to do anything to hurt you.”

Joel didn’t feel at all guilty for putting words into his brother’s mouth. It wasn’t strictly a lie. Jesse hadn’t thought through his actions, like everything else he was doing without thinking lately.

Vicki smiled and accepted his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck as she melted against his body.

“Get a room,” Travis shouted.

Joel pulled back so he could rest his forehead against hers. “Sounds like a great idea to me. What do you say we do that a little later?”

Vicki blushed, and Joel grinned, turning to the table and pouring a beer, ready to spend a few more hours with family.

At least the part that was acting like family right now.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chaos reigned in the living room of his parents’ house. The nephews hadn’t unwrapped their presents, they’d torn the paper to shreds, egged on by Jesse. The scent of Christmas dinner lingered in the air. Joel had to loosen his belt a notch to deal with the slight bit of overindulgence he’d partaken in.

But the biggest present he had was seeing his family together and happy. Or as happy as they got these days.

Travis leaned back in one of the La-Z-Boys, the two smallest of the nephews swarming over him as they attempted to get him to join them for a game. Blake and Jaxi’s toddlers were alternately crawling through the wrapping paper and having the brightly coloured bits of paper pulled from their mouths, or they were dancing in that weird toddler way to the music he’d put on just for them. Christmas tunes with sort of a Chipmunk twist, adding a strange flavour to the setting.

Everywhere he looked people shuffled around the room or were seated at the massive family table. The after-dinner drinks had come out, bottles stacked to one side. Blake and their dad had cleared a space to play crib and were hard at it.

Vicki wandered through the chaos all wide-eyed, which made Joel smile.

He was glad she was having fun. That had become his number one goal over the past weeks. Jesse, on the other hand, had remained a standoffish stick-in-the-mud, going out of his way to avoid Joel during the most basic of chores.

The contrast burned, but there didn’t seem to be anything he could do to make things better.

Blake laughed, laying his hand down in defeat as he got skunked for the third time. “You have the best luck at cards, Dad.”

Mike Coleman raised his glass, the ice cubes clinking together. “You’re too easily distracted. Once you’ve got six kids, then we’ll get closer in skill level. Ouch.”

He rubbed the back of his head where Jaxi had elbowed him as she walked past.

Jaxi turned, her arms full of dirty dishes she was taking to the kitchen. “When your son figures out a way to carry and deliver the next three children, you can talk to us about having six kids, got it?”

She disappeared past the swinging door, and Blake and Mike exchanged glances. Mike cleared his throat. “So. You’re stopping at three?”

Blake shrugged. “Give her a few more months to forget childbirth, and she might change her mind. Right now she’s still at the wake up in the middle of the night and punch me stage. Like it’s all my fault she was pregnant.”

Mike laughed, but both of them got really busy when Jaxi reentered the room.

Blake rose to his feet. “Chores. Who else is joining me on this blustery winter day? Jesse? You’re up, aren’t you?”

Joel stepped forward. “I’ll come out—and Vicki, I want to show her something.”

If he’d expected his twin to say thank you for taking over the cold task, he’d have waited a damn long time. Jesse didn’t so much as acknowledge his offer, just went back to pouring a drink before he plopped down beside Travis, the TV remote in his hand.

Joel ignored him, although he did notice their dad watching with disapproval.

Vicki nodded. “Give me a minute to change?”

“Meet me in the west barn when you’re ready.” Joel grabbed his coat before joining Blake on the journey across the yard.

The snow had arrived in style a week before Christmas Eve, lying in thick drifts everywhere. They’d used the tractors to push the roadways clear. There were narrower trails between the barns, paths stomped down by the nephews’ enthusiastic feet when they visited Gramma and Grampa and headed to the barns for some all important fort-building and kitten-chasing.

Blake pulled on gloves, glancing over as they headed forward. “So, you and Vicki, things going okay?”

Joel nodded. “Yeah, she’s a great girl.”

“She is.” Blake cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I was an ass back when she first started hanging around.”