Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Rebel

Hell, no. “I’ll call you back.”

Hanging up on emergency services might not be kosher, but she could not keep talking. Only the fact she’d made it into the tack room had stopped another panic attack from setting in, and no one wanted to be on the phone with a shrieking maniac.

The slightly cooler air was calming, reassuring. Vicki dragged in deep breaths and willed her heart rate to slow. Like Joel had mentioned before, the scent of leather became a balm, returning her to the fun times and the caring he’d given her while they’d practiced with the saddle.

If she could have stayed hidden in that room forever, she would have. But Jaxi still sat alone in the barn, and there was no way Vicki could abandon her.

She screwed up her courage, nabbed the requested armload of blankets and hurried from the room.

Ignoring Sable was the only way to survive. Vicki stormed past her and laid a blanket on the open bale beside Jaxi. “I called the ambulance and thought of something else. What’s your mother-in-law’s number? She’ll have to direct the driver, and we should warn her so she’s not scared to death by an emergency vehicle arriving in the yard unannounced.”

Jaxi eased herself to vertical. “Damn, I’d forgotten that. Good idea.”

“Wait,” Vicki ordered. “Sorry, but you’ve got straw on your ass.”

She brushed it off before helping Jaxi back down onto the thick padding of the quilt she’d found.

“Trust me, I’ve had straw worse places.” Jaxi gave her the number, and a whirlwind of activity ensued. Vicki reassured Mrs. Coleman, arranged for the little girls to stay with her, then reconnected with emergency. She followed their directions, which mostly meant supporting Jaxi who didn’t seem to need much reassuring anymore.

“This baby has got to be a Coleman male.” In the slight calm post-contraction, Jaxi released the grip she was using to squeeze the bones in Vicki’s hand to pudding. “Stubborn, bad timing…he’s coming out the chute like I expect he’ll go on.”

Vicki wasn’t sure what to do, laugh or be overwhelmed by everything happening. “Boy or girl, healthy is all that matters.”

Only please, not until the ambulance gets here.

She thought that last part, proud she managed to not say it.

When the paramedics came rushing in the door, the sense of relief was nearly enough to take her to her knees. “I’ll call Joel. He might be in range again.”

“Tell Blake he’d better hurry. This kid is not taking his sweet time.” Jaxi smiled weakly around an emergency attendant. “Thanks for holding my hand.”

“No problem.”

The blur of motion continued, but it moved away from her. Others took her place in reassuring Jaxi, the paramedics helping her to the ambulance.

Vicki was left alone in the barn, and the sudden quiet echoed.

She took a deep breath, calming her heart before pulling out her phone. Nothing but Joel’s voice mail. He must be in that dead-air zone they’d mentioned.

“Joel? Jaxi’s headed for the hospital. Hope you find Blake in time.” She wasn’t sure what came next. “Um, call me when you get the news. Fingers crossed things go well.”

She hung up feeling incredibly—awkward?

Left out?

It wasn’t as if she and Jaxi were such bosom buddies that she should have jumped in the ambulance with her. Yet the sensation of being an outsider had never been clearer than at that moment.

For all the lovely gestures of borrowed boots, and passionate kisses, the Colemans had something she didn’t. That she got to experience a little of it on the sly—she wasn’t sure if her temporary involvement was a good thing or a bad thing.

Hope’s comment earlier in the week about real family stabbed like a blade. Seeing what family meant, but not truly being a part of it, made Vicki’s heart hurt more than when she’d never experienced the joy.

She plopped back down on the bale with the blankets and stared across at Sable’s stall. Just her and the horse left, and even the horse fit in better than she did.

She picked up the blankets and returned them to the tack room, shaking off the bits of straw carefully to avoid thinking things through.

Alone. Like usual. Like always.

This time it burned.

Vicki wasn’t returning his calls. Jesse was avoiding him. Altogether the last couple days had been one bucket load of crap after the other.

Although there was something to celebrate. Not only was the Six Pack clan rejoicing in the arrival of the newest Coleman, there was a new reason to tease Blake.

The baby was another girl.

Blake had been astonished. Jaxi just smiled and held the swaddled bundle to Joel when he dropped in for a visit.

He sat next to Jaxi, the soft flannel quilt wrapped around the baby barely leaving room to see her face. “So, Blake. You like pink or something?”

“Of course I love pink. I adore it. It’s totally my favourite colour. I’m going to paint the barns pink next time around.” Blake laughed along with the others, laid his hand on Jaxi’s shoulder and leaned in for a kiss. Then he stood and shook a finger in her face. “Whatever happened to following in my grampa and daddy’s footsteps? Having six boys, all that.”

Jaxi shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one who has to hand over the boy genes. I can’t do much if you don’t provide the building blocks.”

Joel stroked his finger over the baby girl’s cheek, amazed at how perfect and tiny she was, little lips pulsing. Nose wiggling. “I don’t know why you’d want a boy when she’s so beautiful.”

Blake growled. “Wait. I’m going to have three girls in their teens at the same time.”

“You won’t ever put your shotgun away. Just clean it every time the boys come to call. Worked on us with Stacey Walker.”

Yeah, that part of the past few days had been incredible. The rest of it? Sucked.

“You going to keep moping over there or get your ass in gear?” Travis popped past him, a bundle of energy. He cracked a stick against Joel’s legs. “More action, less daydreaming.”

“What the hell is your issue today? You’ve been a jerk all afternoon.”

“I’m giving back what you’re giving me.” Travis dragged his hand through his hair. “Okay, that wasn’t fair. Yes, I’m pissed off, only not at you, but you’re not helping matters.”

Joel shoved his gloves in his pocket. “Go ahead and give me hell. What did I do this time?”

“You’re moping,” Travis repeated. “You in shit with your girl?”

“Not sure. She’s not talking to me.”

“Oh, great. Yeah, that’s a super way to solve problems, I got one of those as well.”

Joel eyed his brother. “You and Ashley have a fight?”

Travis paused. “Actually, it’s Cassidy who’s being a jerk.”

That was unexpected. Joel thought back over the past weeks, and couldn’t remember seeing Travis’s buddy since the summer. “I thought he’d moved out of town. At least, I haven’t seen him around in forever.”

“Exactly.” Travis grabbed a sack from the wheelbarrow and placed it into position while they talked. “He gave me hell a while ago, and I thought he was joking, but the ass took off for real.”

“Sad. Stupid, too, like you said. Not talking about troubles doesn’t make things better.” Joel passed him another sack. “Vicki’s probably just busy.”

“Not a good reason to let her stew.” Travis glanced over. “How are things going with her? I mean other than she’s not talking to you.”

Joel had thought they were going great. “Hell if I know.”

“She ever tell you about…” Travis shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Joel jerked to a stop. “You can’t make that kind of comment then cut off. Spill.”

“Just wondered if you ever talked about what happened in high school. With Eric Tell.”

The mysterious Eric question. “Nope. Although her sister mentioned something the other day in passing about Vicki stealing someone’s boyfriend, which I think is total bullshit.”

Travis brushed his hands clean as he led Joel from the barn. “I’m not going to tell you.”

“Asshole.” Joel shoved Travis’s shoulder. “Why’d you bring it up, then?”

“Because if she had told you, I was going to tell you something else, but if you notice, I don’t share other people’s secrets. So get your act together and ask her.”

Joel still felt like poking Travis, but it was true. Travis was the tightest mouth son-of-a-bitch around. “Since what you’re doing is not helpful, bringing up topics then not explaining what’s going on, any real suggestions for how to get Vicki to give me a call?”

“Set a date and tell her you’re taking her. Show up. You know where to find her, right?”

Easier now than before. “She’s just moved into Hope’s apartment.”

“Bring her out for the night with me and Ashley, then. We can relax and get your girl to forget whatever stupid thing you did.”

“Hey, who said I did something wrong?”

Travis grinned. “You’re a guy. Means you had to do something wrong. Accept it, and life gets easier.”

Vicki couldn’t hide any longer. She’d started this façade for one main reason, learning to deal with the stupid horses. It wasn’t Joel’s fault the other things she’d asked him to help with were making her crazy. She still had to deal with her fears. Calling things off would be insanity.

But she wasn’t going to let herself fall into thinking anything was real. No sir, that wound had been cut open and flayed the other day. This was about what she could get. What she needed to learn in the next while.

Warm fuzzy feelings didn’t belong.