Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Heat

The reality of loving her beat all the fantasies he’d ever had.

He would be ready to go again if he kept this up, and it was too soon for her to handle him yet. Distraction needed—he had to care for her. He gave her one last kiss before pulling away to get a washcloth.

She was all soft and relaxed when he returned, lying on the surface of the quilt with her arms back by her sides, one leg bent. As he knelt beside her, touching her carefully, the realization struck like a brick wall.

He’d taken her without a condom.

Every pass of the cloth he made as carefully as possible, a strange fog filling his mind. The cloth was dropped to the floor, then he drew her back into his arms, brain-fuddled and blood roaring in his ears.

He’d never done that before. Never even been tempted. Every time he’d been with a woman, he’d sheathed up early with no questions asked, no matter if she said she was protected. He was clean, but…

Fuck.

Jaxi curled in tighter to his side, her warmth scorching his body as his guilty conscience seared his mind.

Blake dropped another kiss on the top of her head as he struggled out of post-coital mindlessness into what-the-hell-had-they-just-done territory. And why.

It wasn’t the kind of mistake he would make. He stared at the ceiling, wondering if he’d done it on purpose. On some level, had he wanted to mark her permanently as his, make sure this wasn’t a one-time deal?

There was nothing more permanent than a baby.

Jaxi laughed softly in his arms and jostled him, her bright smile fading as she caught a glimpse of his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, but…” He tried to sound gentle and caring, but he was afraid the question came out a little scared. “You on the pill?”

She looked confused for a minute before her lashes dropped and hid her eyes from his view. “Oh, damn. I didn’t even think about that.”

He kissed her cheek, tried to convey his emotions with the action since the words were stuck in his throat. Hell, the words were stuck in his brain—he didn’t quite know what he was even thinking.

Jaxi wiggled back and he reluctantly released her.

“Are you going to flip out on me? You regret making love and now you’re going to head for the hills?” Her eyes had filled with moisture, and Blake’s heart cracked at the hurt he’d unwittingly caused.

“I ain’t going anywhere, Slick. I know what I feel inside. I just don’t want you to think you have to agree to anything because I made a mistake.”

She shivered as she sat up.

“I hate that word. Mistake. Don’t you ever use that word again, Blake Coleman. If we made a baby right now, it’s no mistake. Even if we had used a condom, I could get pregnant.”

Her indignation was stronger than he’d expected. “What you telling me?”

She blushed. Hard. Harder than he’d ever seen. Then she lifted her chin and stared him down as she spoke.

“You want me to spell it out for you? I hear you say my kisses are all yours, and my body is all yours, and I tell you no one’s ever made love to me before because I was waiting for you. If you weren’t thinking about forever, Blake, fine. But I was. That’s why I almost don’t care that we didn’t use a condom, and why if…hell, if I had my way we’d be making love again in about two minutes, condom or no. ’Cause even if it scares you I’ve got to tell you—I’ve been thinking about you and loving and forever. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”

Blake stared at her, all bold as brass as she sat naked at the foot of the bed.

Damn, she was glorious.

He reached and enveloped her in his arms. Tried to ease the tension in her shoulders, relax the tightness from her body with pets and caresses and whispers against her skin. He slid her over him, letting her weight cover him with heat and silky pleasure. He took her face between his hands and kissed her tenderly on the eyelids. Used his lips to brush away the tears that hung there.

Had he thought about forever? He’d wanted her forever, and she felt right in his arms. A part of his heart had always belonged to her. He kissed her mouth, simple and soft, before whispering over her cheek.

“You make me feel the biggest fool, Slick, ’cause you’re braver than anyone I know. I can tell you with my body how I feel about you, but saying the words seems mighty hard.”

He brushed his hands down her back, stroking and soothing. He rolled them to their sides and kissed her cheeks, feathered his fingers over her collarbone, tracing the delicate lines. Her eyes still showed hurt, but a trace of something else lit the corners. Hope? This was as good a time as any. He smiled at her.

A loud pounding on the door of the cabin jerked him from where he was headed.

“I’m going to kill them, whoever it is.” Blake dragged himself away from her warmth and stumbled to the door. He yanked the door open a crack, using his body to shield the cabin from prying eyes.

Joel’s white face filled his gaze. “I’m damn sorry for interrupting, but we just got word. Mama and Daddy collided with a moose on their way home tonight. The truck’s a wreck, and they’ve been taken to the hospital in Red Deer.”

Blake sat in the easy chair in his father’s hospital room, listening to the gentle sound of breathing. Jaxi lay curled up in his lap, her warm breath drifting over his neck, bosom pressed against his arm.

They’d checked in on his ma first. The nurses told them with the pain medication it was unlikely Marion would wake before morning. His dad, however, would be woken soon to monitor him for a concussion.

Blake was grateful neither of them had been more seriously hurt. Although his ma was going to be right ticked when she heard the news.

As he waited for his dad to wake, Blake looked at the bit of woman in his arms. Soft, yet strong, and definitely all woman. He couldn’t believe she was here. After denying them both for so long, it felt right to have her warmth penetrating all the way through to his heart. Even if a bit of him was scared shitless they’d made love unprotected.

“Blake?” His dad’s voice scratched a little.

Blake went to put Jaxi down, but his father stopped him.

“You’re fine sitting right there. How’s Marion? She okay?”

“Ma’s fine, no new injuries. Although she’s going to be upset when she hears they recast her arm, to be sure it was still set proper. She’s got extra weeks to wait until the new cast comes off.”

Mike’s face said it all. “Hell, I should have been more careful.”

“Don’t go blaming yourself. Those moose are damn near invisible, right until they jump out and commit suicide,” Blake commiserated. “It’s not mating season so you couldn’t have expected it, and that corner is a scary son of a bitch to take. We’re all just glad you weren’t killed. Maybe a busted leg and head aren’t too high a price to pay.”

“Leg? Marion break a leg too?”

Blake shook his head, worry creeping in. “You didn’t notice you’re wearing rather stiff long johns, Dad? It was a clean break but you’re carrying plaster now too.”

His dad shuffled the sheets to examine the thigh-to-foot white cast. “Well, hell. Nope, didn’t notice a thing until now. Damn pounding in my head is drowning out everything else calling for attention.”

“Yeah, well, you may have a concussion, but they said that should clear up plenty quick.” Jaxi shifted in his arms, and Blake snuggled her in tighter, brushing back a curl that had fallen over her face.

He looked back at his dad to see a rather large grin waiting for him.

“So, does the fact you’re finally holding that girl in your arms mean you’re over being worried about what you never needed to worry about in the first place?” Mike leaned back, his smile stretching from ear to ear.

“You knew? You knew I wanted…?” Blake trailed off. Just how much did he want to talk about this with his dad?

Mike snorted. “Son, the entire county has known for years you had it bad for Jaxi. I don’t know if it’s because you’re our firstborn or what, but you have a bad habit of trying to do what you think will please everyone else. You can’t do that without missing out on what’s going to please the people that are the most important to you.”

He sat and thought that through for a minute. It was true. Small issues still poked him. “You don’t think she’s too young for me?”

“Pfftt. How much older am I than your mama?”

Blake frowned and couldn’t come up with an instant answer. “I’m not sure, sir.”

Mike nodded. “Right, because it doesn’t matter one bit if there’s a difference between us. Is the age thing what’s been holding you back all this time? I wished I’d known. I didn’t understand how you could be so stubborn to let her loose for so long. Heck, even your little brothers thought about—”

“I know what they were thinking and that’s finished. Jaxi and I are…” Blake hesitated again, this time because he wasn’t sure what to say. They were lovers, heck, they’d talked about babies.

But he didn’t know where they were, right now.

Mike raised a brow. “You’re what? Don’t tell me you need a little more time to figure this one out. After all the girl’s done the past few years to get ready to be the best rancher’s wife possible?”

This conversation was too full of missing information for Blake. He felt as if he was the one with the head injury. “You want to explain?”

Mike pointed at Jaxi. “She took me for coffee the summer after her high school graduation and showed me a couple flyers from the local colleges. Asked me to mark the classes that would teach a woman to be a real help around a ranch. Someone able to pitch in, make sure things got done, and done right.