She stumbled, and he caught her, steadying her easily. The mischievous twinkle in his eye made heat flash across her face.
“Shh, not in the school.” The second-floor hallway was empty now, doors wide open, her fellow teachers gone already, but the echoes of voices grew louder as the two of them moved toward the stairs.
“You planning on hiding from me some more, Miss Beth, or are you going to start answering my calls?”
Somehow she had to make this work. No matter how awkward, she wanted it. “I’ll answer. It would be best to talk when the boys are gone to bed. Can you call later in the evening?”
“I could. I could also come over.”
The way her whole body reacted she figured something had to give, and soon. But she would stay in control of the situation.
“I don’t think that’s wise.”
He tugged her to a stop, turning her to face him. “I’m not going to do anything to upset the boys on purpose, but either you’re serious about this or you’re not. I’m not going to be led around like some dog for you to pet when you get the urge. Either you say no right now, and I’ll bow out of your life, or you stop saying yes with your body and no with your actions.”
Beth’s heart pounded, her mouth gone dry from a momentarily rush of fear. But when he stood close, his hands gentle on her arms as he looked into her eyes, there was nothing there that said he wanted to control her.
He only wanted her to decide.
“What’s it going to be? Do you want to go ahead? You think about it, and let me know, because while I’m a patient man, Beth, I won’t let you yank my chain like this. I won’t let you start one way and expect you to change later because that’s not fair to either of us. It’s all or nothing. So why don’t we make it your call. You contact me if you want to go ahead any further.”
She hadn’t been fair, even if she had good reasons to hesitate. “It’s impossible to think straight with my bra in pieces in your pocket.”
A reluctant grin shimmered to life. “I’m hoping when you call, you say yes. Then the next time I cut something off you, it’ll be your panties.”
Beth swallowed, the racing beat of her heart making her lightheaded. He was right. She needed to stop being wishy-washy about this. Although, when they did find a time and place to be truly alone, she wasn’t sure her body was going to survive.
Chapter Six
In the middle of clearing away supper dishes, Beth looked longingly at the recliner in the living room. A simple flick would light the gas fireplace, and she could lean back and rest her head on the soft cushions. The incredible sexual tension Daniel had lit in her body after school refused to diminish. Combined with the sheer workload of being a single mom—she was beat. A chance to put up her feet, even for a few minutes, would be paradise.
A crash jerked her from her blissful daydream. Nathan gasped then complete silence reigned. At her feet the broken bowl from the evening pasta dish lay in pieces. A few leftover noodles clung to the shards, the rest scattered over the floor like miniature snakes.
“Shit.” Lance turned from the fridge where he’d been putting away the milk.
“No swearing.” She held out a hand to keep the boys in one spot. “Don’t move, I don’t want you to cut yourself on the glass.”
She grabbed the dustbin from under the sink and dealt with the larger pieces. Lance got the broom, and by the time the mess was cleaned up, the lethargy that had crept over her was gone. Which was good, since even though it was the weekend, she still had papers to mark and a lesson she wanted to revise. The boys needed homework spelling words checked and…
A soft sniff interrupted her mental rambling. Nathan stood to the side of the kitchen, eyes wide, his face white.
“Nathan? You okay? Did you get cut when the bowl fell?”
He shook his head rapidly, tucking his hands behind his back.
Oh God.
“Honey, it’s okay. It was an accident.” She held out her arms, and he moved towards her slowly, warily. Damn bastard of a husband. “Mommy’s not mad at you. I bet the bowl was slippery from the butter on the edge. We’ve cleaned it all up.” She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, the rapid pitter-patter of his heart as it pounded in fear making her crazy.
She should have known better. She should have been stronger and dealt with Samuel long before he began to be such a dangerous influence in his sons’ lives. He’d been so damn demanding and easily irritated. As the years passed, they’d all learned to walk on eggshells around him.
Breaking something had been akin to murder in Samuel’s book.
Lance glanced back from where he stood at the sink, his young face twisted into a grimace as he fought not to cry. When he turned and started washing the dishes, Beth’s soul ached a little more. It was so like him—her firstborn—once again trying to act the grown up. Caring and acting beyond his years.
A sense of frustration swept her. What was she doing? There was so much she needed to deal with, repercussions from ten years of mental abuse. How was she supposed to be able to make things better for her boys when she felt instant fear when the situation deviated even minutely from the “proper way”?
What she wouldn’t give for a cup of coffee and a good long talk with a sympathetic ear to listen. She didn’t want to talk to the school counsellor and bring the whole mess into her new workplace. She didn’t want to return to the stony-faced therapist she’d been seeing in Calgary.
Daniel crossed her mind again and her face warmed. She stood, still cuddling Nathan, and shuffled her way into the living room. Her leg ached, but she wasn’t about to put him down. He needed her. Heck, she needed him. They settled together in the big armchair. The grading could wait. The lesson—she’d put aside her usual method of getting all their work out of the way immediately and instead make time to check it over during the next couple of days.
Tonight her boys needed a reminder that life was not as confining as it used to be.
“Lance, honey, leave the dishes. I need your help here.”
He joined her, sitting next to his little brother on the couch. Robbie clutched his security blanket in his hand, a defiant look in his eyes.
Her husband had hated that blanket.
“I think we’re settled into the school year enough we need to start planning some fun activities to do together. You guys got any ideas? What would you like to do as a family?”
Nathan wiggled a bit, his face brightening. “You mean like going swimming or stuff?”
Beth groaned inside but hid it behind a smile. “Yes. Only I don’t think you should use the swimming hole anymore this year, right? We’ll go to the pool. Anything else?”
Together they made a list of suggestions, and the mood in the house lightened. Beth gave thanks the kids were resilient.
A couple of hours later, after multiple games of Snakes and Ladders, cups of hot chocolate—with marshmallows—and an endless number of slightly tuneless songs bellowed out during bath time, the three boys were finally all tucked into bed. A glance at the clock showed it was only nine p.m., but she could have sworn it was close to midnight. She was ready to crawl into her own bed and take the weight off her aching limb.
She really should get back to her to-do list and not give in to the temptation to soak for an hour then head to bed herself. And yet, why not? Abandoning all plans of productivity, including ignoring the dishes in the sink, didn’t mean she was evil. There were two days stretching ahead on the weekend to get her stuff done.
Mom break, starting now.
She got the tub running before grabbing a glass of wine and her book. Soaking in the hot water made her feel halfway human again. It also gave her plenty of time to daydream about the sensations Daniel ignited in her body. Her book abandoned to the floor, she wondered where the line was between getting what she wanted physically and discovering what Daniel offered in addition to the sex.
Friendship.
She dried off and pulled on her thick pyjamas, all the while debating with herself. Daniel wanted an answer. She stared at the phone. Damn it. Without letting herself think it through anymore, she punched in his number and waited for a response.
She’d had enough years of being careful, and it was time to keep this ball rolling.
“Colemans’,” a deep voice answered, and she hesitated. It kind of sounded like him but…
“Daniel?”
The man at the other end laughed. “You’re close. Only five more guesses.”
She smiled in spite of her nervousness. “Jesse.”
“Now how did you do that?”
It was her turn to laugh. “Of all the boys, I figured you were the only one who’d play games on the phone.”
“Yeah, well, don’t tell my mama. Just a minute, I’ll get him for you.”
The echoing silence gave her time for the image of Jesse and Joel dancing with Darleen to pop back into her brain. What was it that Daniel had said? The boys…shared? The thought intrigued her. Not with them per say, but the whole two guys paying attention to her—about as far from the vanilla missionary sex forced on her over the years as she could imagine.
The temptation to add to her list was strong. Daniel said he didn’t want to see it anymore, so why not? It would be one of those inspirational things—find a few books, read about it and get turned on. Reading about it was enough for now.
Actually, having more than one guy paying attention to her at one time was probably one of the better-imagined-than-done things. Wouldn’t there be too many limbs and body parts touching and connecting? A sudden throb between her legs surprised her. Okay, lots of body parts touching her would be fine.
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