Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Desire

Then he paused as, out of nowhere, doubt hit like a sudden winter storm.

Matt wasn’t confused about how much Hope turned him on. That was the easy part. It was the flood of other emotions that rushed him and froze his limbs.

Helen had abandoned him. After years of being together, after he’d satisfied her every request—he thought—she’d still left. Seeing her brought back all the previous mental ramblings he’d shuffled through, trying to see where he’d gone wrong.

Now his panic wasn’t about Helen, but about Hope. About how he could keep from making the same mistake with her, because he couldn’t bear to have her tear out his heart like her sister had. Couldn’t bear to think that even now he could be doing something that would make her want to leave.

Worry that he would demand too much, or go past an invisible line Hope didn’t want to cross, made him hesitate. Matt quickly revamped his plans. He’d been a brute when what she needed was caring.

He took her in his arms as he lay at her side, cuddling their naked bodies together. She was soft in all the right spots, and he rested his chin on her shoulder and pushed down all the raunchy things he wanted to do with her. To her. Maybe if he waited a couple minutes he could take her to the shower and wash her off gentle and slow instead of continuing to maul her like a wild beast.

Scaring her off was the last thing he wanted—they’d only been lovers for a couple days. She didn’t need an animal in her bed, not with everything else happening.

Matt caressed her arm, her waist, teasing lightly with his fingertips. He nuzzled the back of her neck and licked, unable to resist the tiny motion.

It stopped him from putting his teeth to her skin and fucking her into oblivion.

Hope lay motionless for a while, then rolled to face him. She cupped his cheek, her blue irises a thin slice against the wide black of her pupils. Then she frowned and wiggled back, pulling up her knees and wrapping her arms around her legs. She sighed and stared into the room.

Matt leaned in close. “What’s up?”

A small hesitation, then she turned those beautiful eyes on him and damn near pouted. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Hell, no.”

“Then…why’d you stop?”

Shit. “Stop what?”

She snorted. “Matt, you went from being a possessive beast to cradling me as if I was a china doll. Which, okay, I do enjoy cuddling, but it didn’t seem like that’s where you were headed a minute ago. I just got whiplash from the change in your touch. Did I send out some kind of mixed message? Because I was okay with what we were doing.”

“I didn’t think I should ravish you.”

Hope stared for a moment. Then her hard punch to his shoulder—a serious, full-out blow—surprised the shit out of him.

“Oww. What the hell?”

“Don’t be an asshole.” She crossed her arms, but that only framed her breasts and he had to look up quickly to avoid getting distracted. Her eyes narrowed as she glared. “What happened to ‘there are a million things I want to do to you’? What about ‘I’m going to fuck your ass’ and ‘your body is telling me you want me in control’? You take some mind-altering drugs between yesterday morning and now that just kicked in?”

“Yesterday morning Helen hadn’t dropped back into our lives.” He regretted the words as soon as they escaped.

Hope froze. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with anything? You mean the way you enjoy sex doesn’t apply anymore because my idiot of a sister returned?”

She would have leapt off the bed, but Matt caught her hand. “No, that’s not it.”

Hope jerked her arm, attempting to free herself. “What the hell is it then? Why all of a sudden are you acting differently?”

“Because…” Because he was afraid of losing her. “Just thought you’d like some tenderness.”

All the fight went out of her and she shook her head. “Oh, Matt.”

Hope crawled against him and laid her head on his shoulder, her arms going around him. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just held on tight.

They were sticky from sex and his crazy impulse to cover her with his semen. Their heart rates still rushed—he felt the pulse of hers against his chest, although now it was probably more from her angry outburst than the frantic sexual release they’d enjoyed. Her bedroom curtain was open and the glow from the street shone into the room, meshing with her dim bedside lamp into muted mood-lighting.

Quiet. Back to the low-key and subdued situation they’d enjoyed before hitting the sheets, but something remained tight inside him. Fear, hovering like a carrion bird, ready to swoop down and peck at him if he showed any signs of giving up.

Hope pressed her lips to his cheek and his apprehension lightened slightly. At least she wasn’t kicking him out or punching him anymore. She worked her way to his lips, threading her fingers into his hair and drawing their mouths together. He tried to put his heart into the kissing—his tenderness and his caring. Under his palms, her shoulders and back relaxed as he cradled her, drawing circles on her skin.

When she leaned away, it was to give him a tentative smile. “We’ve been pretty damn honest with each other, haven’t we? Ever since you hauled me out of the ditch?”

“Like telling me you could handle my hard-on and it wasn’t anything special? Or that we weren’t going to fuck?”

That earned him a bit bigger of a smile. “Okay, maybe blunt is more the word I’m looking for.”

“Blunt I can agree with.”

Hope curled her hands over his shoulders and hung on tight. “Since we’re here, and not having wild sex and it’s kinda dark and all, can I tell you a really big, very blunt secret?”

Matt wondered where the hell she was going with this. “Do I need to grab the bottle of tequila for us to do shots to help with this truth session?”

She shook her head. “There is obviously no booze needed for me to be blunt, if our history has anything to show. Matt, I like you being in charge in the bedroom, and I’m not a delicate little flower.”

His breath caught.

Hope lifted her chin, turning her gaze directly at him. “I have enough I’m responsible for with the shop and the volunteering I do around town, I don’t want to call the shots in bed as well. But it’s more than that. I just…”

Matt wasn’t sure which way was up. He hadn’t freaked her out with his roughness, but his stopping? “What?”

She blew out a long slow breath. “I want you to do whatever you like. It turns me on big-time. I trust you. I trust you to take care of me and make me feel real good. You’ve knocked it out of the park as far as me being satisfied every time we’ve fooled around. And the idea of… God, this is so tough to admit. Maybe I’m broken, but I want you to just—take. Don’t ask, don’t try to temper your urges.”

He covered her mouth with his, savouring her taste all over. That was enough of a confession. He didn’t need further details, not anymore. He was still scared shitless that he would to do something wrong and tear them apart, and he’d be thinking long and hard about it a lot more in the future. But being handed the reins to their sexual adventures? Being told that was one area where he didn’t have to worry about going wrong?

Sweet relief and violent need swelled simultaneously.

Her cheeks were flushed red-hot from forcing the confession, but short-term embarrassment was better than having Matt act like some damn yo-yo in bed out of consideration when that wasn’t what she wanted at all.

Honesty. She’d committed to it before, and as he kissed the living daylights out of her, she had to smile. The best policy ever? It certainly seemed that way.

Matt managed to get to his feet without losing his grip, lifting her and carrying her into the bathroom.

It wasn’t the biggest room in the apartment, but with the oversized tub she was happy. She knew from experience they both fit.

“Stand up.” Matt lowered her slowly and gave her time to find her footing. She stepped back to make room for him, but instead of joining her, he fiddled with the curtains, sliding them to the side. He turned on the tap and adjusted temperatures, leaning over the edge of the tub.

“What’re you doing?”

He stood and snatched the showerhead off the hook, twirling the hose to turn the head into the tub. “Whatever I want, right?”

“But I thought—”

He frowned and Hope snapped her lips together. Okay. Right.

She waited, wondering, as he flicked knobs and got the spray started. A gentle stream fed over her skin as he aimed the warm water. Liquid slid down in sheets as he changed the direction from her shoulders, over her breasts to her belly. The zigzagging motion reminded her of a brief, gentle prewash.

A laugh escaped.

He looked up from where he’d been staring in admiration. “What’s that for?”

“I feel as if I’m standing in a car wash and waiting for the next cycle to begin.”

Matt nodded, his pupils going dark as he examined her carefully. “There are a lot of things about to happen.”

He hooked the hose around the faucet and jammed it in place to keep the water inside the tub. Then he grabbed her body wash and scrubbed her from top to bottom. Bubbles covered her everywhere. Tiny goose bumps rose in spite of the heat of the water and the heat of his touch. Every caress was a tease, a delight. He massaged her breasts with a full palm and fingers, circles and circles and more circles until her nipples throbbed against his slick hands. Then he moved farther south, cleaning all the signs of his seed from her. Yet even as his markings washed away, it was as if he painted her with a far more permanent brand. Something invisible, but undeniable.