This almost made me smile, but I didn’t do it when I felt Ren’s hand at my back and I looked up to see he looked distracted but serious.

He led us around his desk, then, with a hand in my belly, he gently pushed me so I sat on the papers on the top. He sat in his chair, turned it my way and looked up at me.

“What I’m gonna tell you, Ally, you do not ever repeat.”

That was not a good start.

“Zano, you’re freaking me out,” I whispered.

“Good. Then you’ll take me seriously.”

Oh my God.

I braced, and it was good thing.

A very good thing.

“In my world, everybody knows everything they can know. You know it so you know how others operate. That way you can make educated guesses at their plays. You also know it so you know what’s important.” He paused and his eyes grew even more intense. “And what lines not to cross.”

“Oh God.” I was still whispering.

This wasn’t getting any better.

He went on.

“Seven years ago, Shirleen and Tucker had a falling out with one of their crew. A smartass, he had more confidence than brains. He also had a big mouth. When they got shot of him, he had big words to say pretty much everywhere about how he was gonna make them pay and take over their business. Fortunately, he didn’t share widely about exactly how he was gonna do that, and what I mean by that was his chosen tool at how to exact vengeance. Unfortunately for him, he was the kind of man who would carry through with his plans.

He stopped talking. I nodded, and he kept going.

“Tucker never did their wet work.”

My stomach roiled at these words used in conjunction with Darius. But I fought back any response, including keeping my expression blank.

“He’d order it, as would Shirleen, but neither of them would do it. Both of them could be cold-blooded. They had to be to get where they were and stay there. They did other things to inspire loyalty. But to make a point with this guy, Tucker stepped in.”

“Zano.” It came out as a soft plea.

“Liam Edward Clark is off-limits, baby.”

I closed my eyes.

Liam Edward.

Lee and Eddie.

Oh my God.

Ren kept talking and I opened my eyes.

“This guy was gonna make his play usin’ this kid. How, I don’t know. But he also had a point to make, so I could guess. Tucker made sure he didn’t do that. And he made sure how he did it that no one would get that same idea. And no one has. Not again. Although it is not known widely what Malia and Liam mean to Tucker, it’s known by those who do know, no matter if Shirleen and Tucker are no longer in the game, you do not get near this kid. You do not get near his mother.”

“So, Darius takes care of them,” I guessed.

He nodded. “Yeah. They have his protection. Other than that, he gives them money and they don’t know where it comes from. The reason they don’t is because every month, Lee Nightingale and Eddie Chavez take turns bringing her an envelope, sayin’ that shit is from them. But it isn’t. It’s from Tucker. As for Tucker, he has nothing to do with them.”

My back went straight. “What? Why?”

“That, I don’t know. What I do know is that for everybody, including you, they don’t exist.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I snapped.

“It’s what it is. You do not get near them, Ally.”

“But the reason I would—”

He cut me off to ask sharply, “You care about your friend?”

I clamped my mouth shut and nodded.

“Then they do not exist. You do not tell Indy. You do not share with the Rock Chicks. Fuck, don’t even tell Tex or Duke.”

“I don’t understand this,” I admitted, because I fucking well didn’t.

“Then ask yourself why Dominic Vincetti was entirely okay with being an asshole who dipped his wick into everything that moved and did whatever Vito told him to do until he discovered someone had hit his wife. Then he and Sissy had a kid. Now he’s lookin’ for ways to get out. Being in love does shit to you, Ally. I know that as a goddamn fact. I’m not one but I can guess, being a father does shit, too. And it did it to Tucker.”

“I’d understand that if Darius was part of their lives,” I returned.

“The kid’s sixteen,” Ren told me.

“And?” I prompted.

“Count back the years, baby,” he said gently.

I did.

But Ren did the math for me. “She was pregnant at the funeral, Ally.”

“So?”

“What do you know about Malia Clark?” he asked instead of answering.

“I know she was a cheerleader. I know she was gorgeous and still is. I know she went with Indy and me and a bunch of our friends to a Prince concert that Indy got front row seats to. And I know that Malia almost passed out with glee when The Purple One did a twirl, his sweat flew off and it hit Malia. I also know before Darius’s dad was murdered, he and Malia were tight. And now I know she was knocked up at his dad’s funeral, which was why she dropped out of sight her senior year and I haven’t seen her since.”

“And what was Darius doin’ his senior year?”

I didn’t answer that. This was because, instead of being on the football field as he had been the three years previously, he was under the bleachers, dealing dope for his uncle.

Ren let my silence be my response and went on.

“Well, I know she was a court reporter who studied at night to become a paralegal, which is what she now does. I also know that Liam Clark has already signed a pre-commitment to a college. This has part to do with the way he can run a ball on a football field. But mostly it has to do with the fact that he’s hitting his junior year in high school next year, he’s already taking almost a complete schedule of AP classes and the college he’s committed to is Harvard.”

Whoa.

“No shit?” I breathed.

“Darius Tucker is no fool. He’s also fuckin’ sharp. Malia Clark isn’t one either, and she’s a hard worker. And the kid they made didn’t fall far from the tree.”

This was cutting me deep already.

Knowing all this, it was killing me.

I leaned into Ren and said, “Then he’s gotta know his kid. He’s got to show him where he got some of how awesome he is. He’s got—”

“Do you honestly believe Tucker thinks he gave anything good to that boy?” Ren asked.

I sat back and snapped, “Well, he did.”

“You know that, baby, and so do I. But Tucker doesn’t.”

“Zano—”

“How would you feel, you’re set to go to Harvard, your life laid out beautifully, and your ex-drug dealer dad shows up and fucks with your head?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Probably about the same way Darius, who had much the same scholarship to Yale for exactly the same reasons, his life laid out beautifully, felt when his dad was murdered,” I shot back. “Difference is, his dad was dead and couldn’t show him the way to get rid of his anger in a healthy way. Darius is not dead.”

“Do you think he has the tools to give that to his son?”

“What I think is, neither of them will know if they don’t try.”

“Ally—”

But it was safe to say I’d had enough.

“This is fucked up bullshit,” I hissed.

“Baby—”

I jumped off the desk and stated (loudly), “If he’d let us in, he’d know we’d have his back. His kid doesn’t need to know any of that shit. And we’d be there to prove how great Darius is. Anyone knows the people around you that give their hearts to you shows to the world the person you are. He’s got tons of friends who love him, which means he’s not only making Liam live without his father, he’s making all of us live without Liam. And, Ren, that is not on.”

 Ren stood and put his hands to either side of my neck, dipping his face close to mine.

“You need to tread cautiously with this, and by that I mean leave it alone,” he advised.

“Why? Do you think Darius would whack me?” I snapped sarcastically.

“No. What I think is that you love him and you’ll have difficulty living without him in your life. And more, you’ll have difficulty explaining to Shirleen, your brother and Chavez why Darius got shot of the lot of you because you stuck your nose in.”

Fuck!

He was right.

And I suspected Darius would do that. This was why Lee and Eddie hadn’t already stepped in. Maybe they’d tried and got their hands burned. So they learned.

“Goddamn it,” I bit out.

He knew I was stymied and that was why he pulled slightly away and some of his intensity left him. But, in an effort to make me feel better, he stroked my throat with his thumb which, even frustrated as all get out, kind of worked.

Then he asked, “How’d you learn this shit?”

“An anonymous source, namely Eddie Chavez. And if you share that with anybody, I’m telling Smithie to ban you from entry so you can’t watch me strip again.”

His lips quirked, but his eyes went reflective.

So I asked, “What?”

“Surprised Chavez shared that with you.”

“He’s as stymied as I am. Probably wants to do something about it, can’t, so he’s heard I’m all over Darius’s ass and, obviously, is willing to throw me under the bus.”

“Hmm,” Ren mumbled.

“Hmm, what?” I asked.

“Hmm, if I tell you what that means, you’ll get ideas so I’ll keep the what of my hmm to myself.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Do you honestly think that’s gonna work?”

He studied me. Then he slid his hands from my neck so he could wrap his arms around me loosely.

I returned the favor and waited (but not patiently).

When he didn’t say anything, I said a warning, “Zano.”

He pulled me closer and asked bizarrely, “Have you heard the song Hold on Loosely?”