Another wave of panic overwhelmed and she spun on her heel and hurried back down the steps. She kept going until she reached the shadow of a panel truck parked along the curb. Then Keely turned and watched the two men as they got into an old car parked halfway down the block. Had he recognized her the same way she'd recognized him? Had he seen the same family resemblance that she'd noticed?
The car pulled away from the curb and the two men drove past her. At the last second she stepped into the light. "Wait!" Keely called, raising her hand to wave at them.
But her voice caught in her throat and the words were barely more than a sigh. "Wait," she murmured as the taillights of the car disappeared into the rain and darkness. Keely stood on the sidewalk for a long time, letting the raindrops spatter on her face and the cold seep through her jacket.
A shiver skittered down her spine and Keely blinked, forced to admit that she had failed. With a softly muttered curse, she started back in the direction from which she had come. When she reached the safety of her car, Keely closed her eyes and tipped her head back, trying to ignore her disappointment.
"It was just a first step," she murmured as her heart began to slow to its normal rhythm. "The second step will be much easier."
She flipped on the overhead light and grabbed her purse from the floor, then pulled out the precious photograph. An Irish family-her family-standing on a rocky cliff overlooking the Atlantic. The five boys were so young. Conor, the oldest, was just seven or eight. Liam hadn't even been born yet. They all looked so happy, so hopeful, ready to set out on the their grand adventure to America. Life was supposed to hold such promise, yet it had all gone so horribly bad.
As Keely rubbed her thumb over the photo, she tried to imagine her mother in those days before she walked away from her family. The notion of leaving her sons behind was impossible to imagine. And even worse was the realization that Keely had been to blame. That perhaps if her mother hadn't been pregnant again, she might have stayed and tried to work things out.
Slouching down in her seat, Keely turned her gaze toward the door of the pub, watching as patrons walked in and out, hoping that she'd see another man who resembled a boy in the picture. "Conor, Dylan, Brendan," she murmured. "Brian, Sean, Liam."
Who were they? What kind of men had they grown up to be? Were they kind and understanding, compassionate and open-minded? How would they react to her sudden appearance in their life? She had grown up not knowing they existed. Would they accept her into the family or would they turn her away?
"Conor, Dylan, Brendan. Sean, Brian, Liam." She paused. "And Keely."
A tiny smiled curled the corners of her mouth. "Keely Quinn," she said. It sounded right. Though she'd spent her life calling herself Keely McClain, Keely Quinn was her real name and it was time to start thinking of herself as someone with a real family-a father, a mother and six brothers.
She quickly formulated a timetable for herself, a habit that was a necessity in her career and now came in handy in her personal life. In a few weeks, she'd come back to Quinn's Pub, walk inside and buy a drink. And a few weeks after that, maybe she'd speak to her father or one of her brothers. Now was the time for restraint, not recklessnesss.
By Christmas, Keely was determined that her family would know she existed. They didn't have to accept her at first. In truth, she didn't expect a tearful reunion and declarations of love. She expected shock and confusion and maybe a bit of resentment. But sooner or later, she would have the family that she always wanted.
With a soft sigh, Keely took a final look at the front door of Quinn's Pub. This had been enough for one day. She'd found her father's pub and maybe even seen one of her brothers. She'd go back to her hotel and get a good night's sleep and come back to Boston another time. But the excitement of her discovery was too much to keep to herself. She'd made a promise to her mother to call as soon as she found her father and brothers. Keely reached into her purse and grabbed her cell phone, then punched in the phone number of her mother's apartment.
Fiona would have left the shop around six. By seven, she was usually preparing her dinner and, by eight, she had settled comfortably in her favorite chair with an Agatha Christie mystery. Keely's mind raced as she tried to decide what she'd say. Should she sound excited or should she keep her tone indifferent? Her mother picked up the phone on the other end.
"Mama?" Keely said, her voice trembling. "Mama, I found them."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Then you talked to Seamus?" Fiona asked.
"No, not yet. But I will. Soon."
"Come home, Keely."
"You know I can't. I have to go now, Ma. I'll call you tomorrow."
She snapped her phone closed and tossed it on the seat beside her. Then Keely reached for the ignition. But at the last minute, she changed her mind. She'd come all this way. Why not go inside now? She could walk through the door and ask to use the ladies' room. Or maybe pretend to make a phone call. What did she have to lose? And if everything went all right, she'd just introduce herself.
The impulse was too strong to resist. "I can do this," she said as she grabbed the keys and stepped out of the car. "I've come this far."
She hurried back across the street, then smoothed her hair before starting up the front steps. But, suddenly, her doubts got the better of her. The second step was almost painful. When she reached the third step, she could see through the wide plate-glass window into the interior of the bar. Her gaze scanned the crowd and then came to rest on a white-haired man behind the bar.
The door opened and a couple stumbled outside, allowing voices to drift out into the night. She stepped aside, her gaze still fixed on the older man. Then Keely heard a patron shout the name of Seamus and the white-haired man raised his hand and waved to an unseen patron on the other side of the bar.
The reality of the situation hit her. Seamus was a flesh-and-blood man, not just a fantasy. Her stomach lurched and she grabbed the railing and hurried back down the steps. She only made it halfway down the block before her nausea overwhelmed her. "Oh, bloody hell," she murmured as she bent over against a nearby car and tried to breath deeply.
If she ever expected to meet her father and brothers, she'd have to get control of her nerves! She wasn't a child anymore, plagued with doubts and confusion. And she wasn't a teeanager, riddled with guilt. This wasn't like letting the air out of Father Julian's bicycle tires or dropping a rotten tomato off the roof of the school at Sister Bertina or smoking cigarettes in the janitor's closet. She deserved to be able to meet her family and know them without all this upset.
Keely turned away from the car, but her head began to swim. She closed her eyes. "Breathe," she murmured to herself. "Breathe."
RAFE SAW HER as he walked down the street toward his car. He stopped and glanced back over his shoulder, then slowly looked around. There was no one else on the street. Though he didn't think twice about his own safety in Southie, a single woman on a dark street was a much more vulnerable target.
She was bent over, leaning back against the side of a car, her hands braced on her knees. He slowly approached and stood in front of her. "Are you all right?"
She glanced up at him, her wide gaze meeting his. For an instant, his breath caught in his throat. He'd expected one of the women who'd been hanging out at the bar. But this woman-or maybe "girl" was a more appropriate description-wasn't exactly the type who hung out at Quinn's. She wasn't dressed in skintight jeans. She wore a black leather jacket, a tapered black skirt that showed off a fair amount of leg, and a T-shirt that clung to her curves.
The harsh light from the streetlamps revealed a flawless complexion, untainted by heavy makeup and bright lipstick. And her hair, damp from the rain, was actually a color that appeared to be quite natural. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
She held out her hand and opened her mouth as if to speak. But then she moaned softly, bent over, and immediately threw up on his Italian loafers. "Oh, hell," she murmured. "Oh, bloody, bloody hell. I'm so sorry I-I didn't mean to do that."
Startled by her response, Rafe had no choice but to reach into his pocket and pull out a handkerchief. His mother had taught him from a young age that a gentleman always carried a handkerchief and it had been advice he'd never truly understood-until now. A guy never knew when a beautiful woman might throw up on his shoes.
She slowly straightened, then took the handkerchief from his fingers. She pressed it to her lips. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she murmured.
"Maybe you've had a little too much to drink?" Rafe suggested.
She shook her head. "No. It's just…nerves."
He nodded. "Right."
"No, really," she insisted. "I've just been a little upset lately. And I haven't been eating well, or sleeping at all. And between all the antacids and the coffee, I just…all my stress seems to end up in my stomach." She paused. "But then you're really not interested in that, are you."
"Can I call you a cab?" Rafe asked.
She shook her head. "No. I'll be all right. My car is just down the street."
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," Rafe said.
"Do what?"
"Drive," he said. "Either you allow me to call you a cab or you allow me to drive you wherever you're going."
"I'm perfectly able to-"
Rafe held out his hand to silence her. "Come on. It's cold out here. We can wait in my car for the cab." He reached down, grabbed her hand, and tucked it in the crook of his arm. Then he slowly walked with her down the block. When they reached his Mercedes sedan, he turned off the alarm and opened the passenger side door. She hesitated for a moment.
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