K. Lynn - Reciprocity

The next morning, I pulled three expanding files along with a manila file out of my bag and set them on my desk. After soaking in my wife, I’d broached the box that haunted me and emptied its contents. They stared at me, and I stared back. It hurt me to even touch them, to bring them back out into the light of day.

Memories and heartbreak tore at me all evening. Nightmares that were too real haunted my dreams. I couldn’t stop touching Lila, my worst fears killing me from the inside out. My heart begged me not to do it, but at the same time, it wanted justice—the files could help with that.

I sat at my desk, my fingers running across my lips as I looked at their worn edges. Sending them to Tom would make things worse. Then again, I was already on the Marconi hitlist. The information would help in his case—I had no doubt about that—but I had to be discreet about delivery. There was no way I could walk up to Tom and hand it to him—we’d both be dead that day.

I sat back and rubbed my face.

Sending the files could help keep Lila safe. If Marconi was convicted, he might leave her alone. He might stop keeping tabs.

I stood and picked up the files, heading out of my office and down the hall. I needed help and guidance. Who better than someone I trusted and had lost the same person I had?

“Hey, Cassie, is Jack available?” I smiled down at his secretary.

“Hi, Nathan.” She looked down at her computer. “You’re in luck. He’s got a break right now and he just got off the phone.”

“Thanks.” I stepped forward and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Jack called from inside.

I opened the door and walked through, closing it behind me. He smiled at me from across his desk, his gaze narrowing on the files in my hand.

“How are you doing, Nate?”

I sat down in the chair across from him and placed the files on the edge of his desk as I leaned back.

“I ran into Tom Preston the other day.” I jumped right in.

“Oh yeah? How’s he doing these days?”

“He’s working on a case against Vincent Marconi.”

The smile slid from his face. “Jesus.”

“I’m pretty sure we were spotted together.”

“How do you know?”

“Lila’s foster brother is a cop. He told me Marconi’s men, along with some dirty cops, were tailing those involved with the case. The list includes me.”

“But why you? You aren’t involved with it.”

I leaned forward and placed my finger on the stack of files. “Because of this.”

His face paled. “All of your information on them.” He looked back at me. “You kept it all?”

I nodded. “It was a bit of insurance, along with not knowing what the hell to do with it. You know how bad things were back then.”

He leaned back and ran a hand through his white hair. “Nathan… What do you want to do with it? Why is it here?”

I pursed my lips. “That’s the big question I’ve been struggling with. Grace died because of them. If there’s a strong case against them, I want to give them more ammo. But…”

“You’re afraid.” A pained look crossed his face.

“They already saw me talking to Tom, even if it was only a chance run-in and small talk. They know I have all this.” I waved my hand at the file. “Pretty certain the whole fucking thing red flagged me. If my life is in that much danger because they think I’m helping them, I’d rather someone put this to use.”

“Do we have to go through all this again?” His head was down, shaking. “You’re so happy now.”

I tried not to think about Lila, but it was useless. The road was about to get very rough, and I’d need her strength.

“I’m not resigning myself to death. I have too much hope for a future to do that. But I’m not going to live like everything is fine, oblivious…not like last time.”

“Have you talked to Lila about this?”

I sighed. “A little. She caught that something was off. She’s been so happy since the trial, and I made her cry last night. We’ve even been working on a b-baby.” I stuttered on the word. My chest was tight, and I rubbed at the spot.

Jack’s eyes were soft. “What can I do to help?”

I let out a shuddering breath. “I can’t just hand this file to Tom.”

“You’d be dead before the day was over.”

I nodded. “I need a way so it’s not traceable to me.”

Jack stared at the files, humming as he tapped his fingers on his desk. “You know, Mary has a niece that works for Michael Lawson. Last I was down there, his office was two doors down from Tom’s.” My eyes grew wide, hopeful. “And Jenny, Mary’s niece, just so happens to be coming over this weekend.”

“Is that far enough removed?” Bad enough I was involving Jack, but my former mother-in-law and her family as well?

He lips set into a thin line. “No, you’re right. We need another step.”

My brain fired off ideas, each wilder and more extreme than the one before. “What if she put it in a courier envelope with a random address and sends it to Tom?”

Jack thought it over for a moment. “Do you want to risk it with this information?”

I blew out a breath. “What other choice do we have? Besides, I asked around, and Michael Lawson’s name did not come up as being associated with the case against Marconi. No one would be watching his office.”

Jack scratched at his jaw as he stared at the files. “I’ll get it wrapped up in a code-locked courier bag and have her send it that way.”

“How do we get him the code?”

“Leave that to me. I’ll figure it out.”

I was silent, unsure of how to thank him. “I can’t let it happen again, but I don’t know what to do to stop it.”

Jack’s eyes were soft, full of understanding. “This will help. And try to stay calm—Lila needs you.”

“Not as much as I need her. She’s stronger than I am.”

Jack shook his head. “When it comes to you, Lila is the weakest woman on the planet.”

I blinked at him. Fuck. He had a point. We were so codependent on each other that it was almost debilitating to even think of life without the other.

Days passed and…nothing.

Well, not nothing. I was a mess. A fucking disaster.

High anxiety, nightmares, and a constant popping of pills got me through the day. Lila got me through the night.

She made microwavable popcorn one evening and I flipped out, tackling her to the ground. I did laugh about it later, but it still had me on edge. I knew she was worried about me. She wouldn’t say it, because she didn’t want me to flip out even more. Conversations of the file and Marconi were taboo in our home.

Every day, she sucked and fucked me in an attempt to keep me calm. It worked, but I wasn’t stable. Highs and lows led to more forceful, selfish, but mind-blowing sex.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking good at that.” She had me panting as she swallowed around my cock.

I held her head down, nose pressing against my skin, cock down her throat. Her fingers flexed against my skin, but I kept her there. The overpowering sensations of her gagging around the head forced me to pull out.

Lila was panting, almost gasping for air, her hand wiping at her mouth. Tears made her makeup bleed black down her pink cheeks and her lips were swollen and red. Her hair was a mess, thanks to my hands.

“You’re a fucking gorgeous mess.”

She smirked up at me and licked her lips.

“Do you want me to fuck you, little whore? I’m so fucking close. Or do you want to drink me?”

Her tongue flicked against the tip of my cock, and I hissed. She was lucky I didn’t push her back down right then and fuck her throat raw.

She sat up straight and opened her mouth, ready to receive. It was tempting, but I wanted to feel her pussy clamp down on me.

“Hammering your pussy it is.”

Her mouth closed some and she glared at me. “Why the fuck give me a choice?”

I walked around her and pushed her head down, leaning over her. “To make you think you had one.”

I was an asshole, but I’d make sure she enjoyed it.

My cock slipped easily into her wet pussy, and we both moaned. She hissed out a “fuck” and a sharp intake of breath when I slammed into her.

All of me curled into her, fingers digging hard into her skin. It was the only way I could get it all out.

She was crying out, screaming each time I bottomed out in her. Shaking, she looked back at me, and I almost lost it under the lust in her eyes. When her eyes rolled back and she fell forward, I smiled. Her fingers clenched into the sheets, fisting.

Her pussy clamping down finished me off. I shook, my hips thrusting, trying to reach deeper with each spurt of come that exploded out. Her pussy pulsed around me, drawing out the last drops. My legs gave out, and we fell to the floor in a tangled mess.

Before we married, we made a pact to have a date night once a week. It was to take the place of our bar night and help us get out of our hiding tendencies. Thanks to the wedding and trial, we’d lost a few. There was still a nervous edge in the back of my mind that one of our coworkers would see us and report us. Even after we were married, it caught us both at times. I loved being out with her, whether to the grocery store or a movie—it was great being able to live life again.

Adam was locked away, and Lila was glowing, despite the danger that was encroaching.

“You’re wearing that?” Lila asked as she came out of the closet.

I blinked at her and looked down at the charcoal slacks and black button-down. “Yes.”

Her tongue peeked out to wet her lips, and it was then I understood that I didn’t just look bad. It was good—I looked edible.