K. Lynn - Reciprocity

He took a sip as he contemplated. “The difference with you is that Lila knows what makes good and what makes evil. She could tell you were good long before she knew it. When she first came to us, her reactions were due to habit rather than fear. Granted, there was fear, but more because of the unknown.”

My gaze flickered back to her. “It’s amazing she had the strength to get herself out. Most don’t.”

“No, they don’t, but Lila’s an observer. That last attack only proved to her that if she didn’t get out, it would be no time before she was in a shallow grave and labeled a runaway. She was never going to get away—he’d never let her.”

The thought sickened me, even more so since she said okay to starting a family. Her hesitancy made more sense—she never thought she’d live long enough for a future. Her youth wasn’t about popularity contests or the clothes she wore. It was about survival. Getting through one day in order to wake in another. Every day since probably felt like borrowed time, so she never dreamed.

It was like Jack said—going through the motions, but not living.

I wanted to go to the jail and beat her fucking stepbrother with a crow bar, bash his skull to a pulp, then drive out to the fucking shack in the middle of nowhere that she grew up in, cut off her father’s balls, and burn it to the ground with him and his bitch wife inside.

The beast liked that idea.

Five babies. Grace miscarried four, and the fifth was lost in the accident. I’d lost five of my own, while he was helping his only one into an early grave.

“She doesn’t talk about that time, at least not in this much detail.”

He nodded. “I figured, but I also felt these were things you need to know. I can tell you know her better than anyone, but at the same time, you’re missing key pieces. Her scars weren’t a one-time thing. Adam is sick and twisted, out for her blood. He would have killed her, if you hadn’t gotten there.”

“I know.” I swallowed and dropped my head a little as my stomach twisted.

“The trial is going to be very rough on her. What I told you is going to come up. Every haunted memory of each hit, slap, threat… It’ll all come out.”

I glanced up from my beer. “You’ve been through this before.”

He stared at me and pursed his lips before letting out a sigh. “I put my father in jail for life.”

My head bobbed up and down. “Lila said you were in a similar situation.”

Noah stared out across the room, then took a sip. “He beat me and my mother all the time. When I was fourteen, he finally hit her so hard it killed her. I lost it. All my life he’d been taller than me, but at that time, we were the same. He was stronger, but I was still able to beat him unconscious.”

“So sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s over and done. Now, I have a beautiful wife and kids. I only wish their grandmother was alive to see them. It’ll get better with time.”

“It’s going to be rough over the next few months, but I can’t wait until the trial is over.”

Noah’s expression changed, and his eyes flickered to Lila, worry filling his face. “The danger isn’t over then.” I tensed, remembering one of the reasons we were here—Noah had news on the Marconi. “They’re still watching you.”

I blew out a breath and pulled on the back of my neck. “Has it been recently?”

Noah nodded. “There are some dirty cops out there that are more interested in money. There’s a big case being launched against him, so he’s got tails on everyone involved in the case.”

“But I’m not involved.”

“No, but who has the most information against him? Who does he still hold a grudge against?”

“Fuck.” I understood then—we would never be safe.

“That’s it, Nathan!” Jared, my instructor, said, slapping his padded, gloved hands together. “Again.”

Left, right, left, elbow, knee—breathe and repeat. Ten times each side. I was counting in the front of my mind, but in the back I was going over everything Noah had told us over dinner.

Dirty cops were being bribed by Marconi to turn a blind eye and destroy evidence in a new case against him. He’d hired men to follow around those involved in the case, including me. The longer I thought about it, the more my anxiety grew, because they could already know about my marriage.

I’d put Lila in danger.

I punched at Jared’s gloved hand, channeling the crippling fear that was starting to creep in. Over and over, harder and harder I threw my body against him. My muscles protested, but I couldn’t stop—I needed the outlet before I spun out. I couldn’t hear anything but the thoughts rattling around in my head.

Would they come after us? Would I be able to protect Lila? What happened if I couldn’t?

My fist slammed hard against Jared, knocking him back. “Damn, Nate. Can you even hear me?”

My lungs were burning from harsh, labored breaths. “Sorry,” I managed to get out between pants.

“Man, what is wrong with you tonight?” he asked, undoing the straps on my gloves and pulling them off.

Sweat poured down my face, and my chest constricted until a strangled noise was released, tears filling my eyes.

What if I lost Lila?

My knees gave out, and I fell hard to the ground. I cried out in pain when I hit the concrete floor below me, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my chest.

Fuck.

I couldn’t deal with a fucking panic attack, so I tried to calm myself.

Jared kneeled down next to me, his hand on my back. “What can I do?”

My airway was constricting. “M-my w-wife.”

The world was closing in again, the snake around my body squeezing tighter.

“Nathan?” Lila’s voice cut through the dark fog. She wasn’t there, and it took me a moment to realize Jared was holding the phone to my ear. “Baby, are you okay? Jared just called me. Do you have your meds with you?”

Hearing her voice was enough to halt the panic attack that was seizing me. My chest expanded, allowing for a deeper breath. It began to ease off—my vision started to clear and my muscles uncoiled.

“Nate, say something.”

“S-something.”

She let out a strangled giggle on the other end of the phone. “Is it getting better? Do you need me to come get you?” Keys jingled in the background.

“I just needed to hear your voice.” I took the phone from Jared and sat back on my haunches. Looking around the room, I found more than one person staring at me, aside from my trainer. “I’ll be fine.”

There was silence on the other end, and I knew she was worried. “Is it about what Noah said?”

I ran my free hand over my face. “Yes.”

“We’ll get through whatever happens,” she said.

“As long as we’re together, right?”

“Right.”

I blew out a breath. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” I ended the call and took a bottle of water from Jared’s hand. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You good now?” He patted my shoulder.

“Yeah.”

“So, this is one of those situations you were telling me about?”

I nodded. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s cool, man. I’m just glad you warned me when we started and gave me your girl’s number. Fucking freaked me out.”

I scoffed. “And that was mild.”

He stood up and held out a hand to help me up. “We’ll call it a night. Go home and relax. Pick it back up on Thursday?”

I clapped onto his hand and hauled my ass up off the floor. “Sounds like a plan.”

I grabbed my stuff and headed out, driving as fast as I could, happy to get home to my wife. My hands ached to touch her. Only she provided the peace to calm the storm within me. The beast prowled back and forth, restless for her soothing touch.

As soon as I parked the car, I was in the lobby, waving hello to Mike and calling for the elevator. My hand tapped on my thigh, nervous energy coursing through me. I fumbled with my keys as soon as the doors opened and burst into our condo.

I threw my bag on the ground, locking the door behind me, and went running to find Lila. My foot caught on the floor, nearly tripping when I rounded the wall into the living room.

Standing in the middle of the room was my wife, wearing nothing other than the sexy little set I bought her for Christmas.

“Fuck.” My cock immediately rose to attention. The black and purple lace of her bra contrasted against her pale skin. She turned, a little minx smile on her face, and showed off her fuck-perfect ass.

I groaned. Yeah, her ass would make me feel better. Tight and snug around me, squeezing me, pulling out every last drop I had to give.

It only took three steps to be on her. I grabbed onto her hips and pulled her back, hard. My mouth latched onto her neck, my teeth nipping at the skin beneath.

“You will do as I say, and you will fucking enjoy it.” Power poured through me as the beast took control, ready to take her, fucking pound her.

She moaned and pushed her ass back against my cock. “What do you want me to do?”

I pushed on her back with my hand and she leaned forward, resting against the arm of the couch. My fingers grabbed onto her hair and pulled. My sexy girl moaned. I fucking loved that I could let go, and she enjoyed it as much as I did.

“I want you to be my dirty little slut. I’m going to fuck you hard.” My free hand ran along her hip and over the curve of her ass. “I’m going to squeeze into this tight ass, and you’re going to milk all the come from my balls.”

I pushed the lacy material aside, and slipped a finger into her already wet pussy. When I moved to press against the tight opening I was about to bust into, there was something blocking me. I leaned back and looked down.