___


Rebecca’s

Cove



She realized that the last few moments were going to change her life. As she watched Hobie disappear down the hall, she also understood that change wasn’t going to be for the better.

Baylor’s countenance appeared to clear. She felt a pressure in her chest, an old familiar weight that sat heavily where her heart should have been. The reality of what she said, and to whom she’d just said it, came crashing in on her.

“Oh, God. Tanti, what have I done?” Baylor sat with a heavy sigh. She lowered her head into her hands and muttered, “Shit, shit, shit.”

“I don’t think cursing is going to help any,” Evelyn said gently.

“What’s wrong with me? How could I have said those things? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Are you under the impression that you’re the only one to blame here?”

“Well, I...What do you mean? Yeah, of course it was my fault.”

“Why do you think that, dear heart?”


“Um, I, uh...I don’t know. I guess because when things like this happen, it’s always my fault. Me and my big mouth.”

“Is that you talking or your father?” Baylor looked up in surprise.

“From where I sit,” Evelyn said, “all three of us had a hand in making a rather cosmic mess of this whole day. I shouldn’t have asked Hobie to stay quiet about the accident. I do apologize for that deception.”

“Tanti, it’s not necessary. I—”


“I think it is necessary, and I’m an old lady. You shouldn’t argue with old ladies.”

Baylor grinned.


“There, that’s better. At least I can still make you smile.” She held out her hand and Baylor took it.

“Hobie may have been doing as I asked, but she was as guilty as you in perpetuating that argument. Sometimes that girl has the temperament of a rattlesnake on a hot day.”

“Are we talking about the same person?” Baylor asked.



___


LJ

Maas



Evelyn’s only answer was a cryptic smile.


“I don’t know how I’m going to make this one right, Tanti. I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t think Hobie is looking at this in the same way you are.”

“What are you most afraid of, dear?”


“That she won’t forgive me. That I’ll lose her,” she added softly. “I don’t know how I’ll handle that.”

“You love her that much?”


“Yes. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to keep going without her. Geez, how pathetic does that sound?”

“Baylor Warren, you sound as if she’s left the country. You haven’t even tried to talk to her yet.”

“Did you see the look on her face? See that anger in her eyes? She thinks it’s all my fault...and it is.” Baylor pulled at her forelock. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“Like what, dear?”


“Like...like me.” Baylor stood and paced around the small room. “Hobie’s right. I’m selfish and arrogant. I think I’m so superior to everyone else I meet. I don’t even know why I act so mean to people. I guess I’m just a lost cause.”

“Baylor, dear heart, show yourself as much compassion as you’re learning to show others.”

“Me? I’m the least compassionate person on this earth!” “That’s not what I hear. People tell me that you sit for hours in

the bookstore having tea with Katherine and Albert.” Baylor felt a prickly heat gather around her collar.

“They say you sit with the coach, just to keep him company, that you watch out for Hobie’s boy, Noah. Theresa Allen said that in one night you brought her family closer than they’ve been in twenty years. Are those the actions of a selfish woman?”

Baylor refused to look up from her shoes.


“There are a lot of reasons why people do the things they do. Many of yours have to do with the way your father treated you, the anger, and the feelings of inadequacy that his treatment instilled in you. I’m so sorry for that. I would have done more if I could have.”



___


Rebecca’s

Cove



“I never blamed—”


“I know that, but that’s not why I bring this up now. I’m telling you these things to make you see that you may have been one way for a very long time, but people can change. You’ve changed, Baylor. You’ve changed for the better, and I’ve never been more proud of you.”

“Are you forgetting how I just acted?”


“We all have our weak moments,” Evelyn deadpanned. Baylor finally smiled as she sat down.

“Are you happy, Baylor?” “Not as this moment I’m not.”

“You need to work at finding the key then. The key to your happiness.”

“That’s funny. Rebecca Ashby was the last person to say that to me. Seems like I hear a lot about the key to happiness around here.”

“You’ll find that the people who are the most comfortable with themselves have discovered what it is. Maybe that’s why we have so many content people on Ana Lia.”

“So what is it, the key to happiness?”


“First of all, it’s up to you to discover that. Second, it’s different for everyone. What makes you happy?”

“Hobie. Hey, maybe she’s the key to my happiness, huh?” “As lovely as that sounds, let me give you one bit of advice

about your happiness. Don’t take this from your grandmother, take it from an old woman who has lived an awful lot of life. Don’t ever let your happiness depend upon another person, even one as lovely as Hobie Lynn.”

“I guess that makes sense.”


“What makes you happy, my dear?” Evelyn repeated gently. “I was just trying to think of that. I have to say that looking at

my life, I don’t recall too many times when I was actually happy. I wouldn’t say that writing does it for me. I mean, I love it, but it can become work, ya know? There’s Hobie. Noah,” Baylor added with a smile. “But if I couldn’t say people, I don’t know. I feel like it’s right here, ya know?” She grasped at the air. “I just can’t verbalize it. Like it’s a feeling of things. Damn, that makes no



___


LJ

Maas



sense at all, does it?”


“It will come. Usually when you’re doing something mundane or something you’ve done a thousand times before, suddenly, you’ll realize that this is the thing that truly brings you happiness.”

“Do you know yours? Did you figure it out?” Baylor asked. Evelyn nodded, that same Mona Lisa smile on her face.

“Is it a secret? Can you tell me or is it a witch thing?” “You are a little stuck on that, aren’t you?”

“Oh, no, not at all. You know me, open mouth, insert foot. Sorry. Come on, tell me.”

“I’m surprised you don’t know what brings me the greatest joy in my life, aside from my headstrong granddaughter, that is.”

“Aimee? No, you said not to depend on other people for your happiness. Um, Arturo? No, you just got him.” Baylor’s brow furrowed in concentration.

“You’ve been taking care of them for me since the first day you arrived,” Evelyn hinted.

Baylor’s eyes lit up as the pieces fell into place. Framed Life covers and photos of her grandmother’s adventures filled her house. Cambodia, Thailand, Peru, Colombia, Brazil, Guatemala, Mexico.

“You’ve been in every jungle from—” Baylor looked into her grandmother’s eyes. “Your greenhouses.”

Evelyn smiled and leaned back on her pillows. “I finally realized it when I couldn’t go on assignment anymore. The jungles and rainforests were what I missed most of all. Unless you’ve been there, you don’t know what the early morning dew sounds like as it drips from leaf to leaf. There’s a smell...wet, loamy earth that’s all humid and still.” Her eyes took on a faraway expression. “Aimee and I worked to bring the rainforest to Ana Lia.”

The argument with Hobie came rushing back at Baylor. “I won’t ever be that happy, not without Hobie.”

Evelyn shook off her dreamy thoughts. “You won’t unless you find that girl and at least try to apologize.”

“Me? Shouldn’t she apologize to me?”


Evelyn raised an eyebrow, looking remarkably like her



__0


Rebecca’s

Cove



granddaughter.


“Okay, that was a stupid thing to say, wasn’t it?”


“See, you are learning to change. In the beginning of a relationship, you’ll find that one person may have to initiate apologies. It’s not always like that, but there are some people who...well, they’re too afraid of appearing vulnerable. Given enough time and love, they’ll overcome that. In the meantime, you may need to be the first to extend the olive branch, even when you know you’re right. After all, does it really matter who did what to whom first? Isn’t it more important to have Hobie Lynn back in your life?”

Baylor realized the truth of it. Getting Hobie back was the most important thing.

“Is Hobie one of those people you just talked about, Tanti? Is she afraid?”

“Hobie Lynn is very afraid. Remember when I told you that our past experiences shape who we are?”

Baylor nodded.


“Hobie’s life was shaped by her father, too. When he died, he left her with the feeling that people aren’t permanent. She fears living without love, but just as strong is her fear of loving someone who will leave her.”

“I have to find her.” Baylor jumped from her seat and crossed the room to the window. “The car’s still here. Maybe she walked.”