I ordered so forcefully that he return home that at length he could make no excuses for not doing so.

He came back ebullient as ever, with no excuses for what he had done, and I was once more so delighted to see him that, after the first few reprimands, he was in favor again.

But all the time he wanted to return to France, so I let him go, giving him strict injunctions—as I once did to Robert—to take good care of himself.

Fortunately he was a young man who quickly tired of a project and after a while, when I told him I wished him to come back and relinquish the command to Roger Williams, who had shared his adventures on the Swiftsure, rather to my surprise, he eagerly obeyed the command.

I think he had taken the advice of his friends to seek his fortune at Court, where my undoubted affection for him would mean that he had a great chance of success.


* * *

I OFTEN THOUGHT of Christopher Hatton who had been so devoted to me that he had never married. I wished I had been kinder to him at the end. It must have been heartbreaking for him when I turned my back on his pleading to be allowed time to pay that silly debt. In the end I had gone to him and fed him with my own hands, but by then it was too late. Sometimes I wondered whether my harsh treatment of him had hastened his death. He had been a sensitive man and he had truly loved me.

Young men nowadays were less reverent; they were bold and inclined to be insolent—at least Essex was. He was quite unlike the men of my youth … Robert, Heneage, Hatton … They had been like romantic heroes. Nowadays it seemed that a young man's chief fancy was for himself.

I wished that I did not feel so deeply about Essex. Perhaps I should have done better to have fixed my affections on another. There was Raleigh, for instance. He was, some would say, more handsome than Essex, with his ruddy countryman's looks, his tall stature, his dashing manners and his wit. I even found that Devonshire burr in his voice attractive, though his jealous rivals sneered at him and called him the farmer's boy.

He had a commanding presence and a fine intelligence. I was very glad to have him near me. During those years when Essex had been behaving so recklessly I had encouraged Raleigh; and I was secretly amused to see the rivalry between him and Essex.

Raleigh was a born courtier as well as an adventurer. He had succeeded Christopher Hatton as Captain of the Guards; he had his knighthood and a fine residence in Durham House and had just acquired a ninety-nine-year lease of the Castle of Sherborne. He had founded a colony in North America which he had called Virginia in honor of me. I would never forget his coming home and telling me about his adventures. He had developed a curious habit which he had learned from the savages there and he explained this to me. It was a herb which was called Yppowoc. I had heard of it before when Sir John Hawkins first brought it into the country, but it was Raleigh who was responsible for calling the notice of the people of England to it. Apparently it had a soothing effect if put in a pipe and smoked. It was known as tobacco. Another product had come from Virginia. This I think was more useful than the smoking herb. It was the potato, which John Hawkins brought in about the same time as the tobacco, but it had not become popular until Drake brought it home in large quantities.

Raleigh had great hopes of that colony. It was my colony, he said, named in honor of me; and he let me know that he had spent forty thousand pounds of his own money in order to maintain it. He was heartbroken when it could not be kept going. Hakluyt, the geographer-writer, said it would require a prince's purse to have thoroughly followed it out.

It always pleased me when my men spent their own money in the service of the state. None did this quite to the same extent that Walsingham had done. It showed a genuine love of country which I applauded.

Raleigh was at heart an adventurer. I realized that he had too much talent in that direction to be kept at home. I sent him to Ireland—that hotbed of dissension—where he used his genius for organization as successfully as anyone could against such people who were determined never to conform to law and order and whose great mission in life was to create trouble.

He had done well; he had planted the potato there and the soil evidently suited it, so it provided food for thousands. He became the friend of the poet Edmund Spenser. I was interested in this young poet because Leicester had thought highly of him when Philip Sidney had introduced him to the young man's works. Robert had sought to help him, and had obtained for him the post of private secretary to Lord Grey de Wilton who had been appointed Lord Deputy of Ireland—which was why Edmund Spenser happened to find himself in that country.

Now Raleigh was back in England—more attractive than ever, full of plans, showing jealousy of Essex which amused me, for I told myself it was good for Essex, who seemed to think he had a right to monopolize my affections.

Raleigh was as obsessed by the Spaniards as Drake had been. He was constantly considering methods of attacking them and robbing them of their treasure. They had had intrepid explorers who had discovered new lands; they were good seamen; and men like Drake and Raleigh wanted to snatch the role of pioneers from Spain and make England the great exploring, empire-building nation; it was for us to rule the seas.

I clung to my conviction that war was folly and that even the victorious invariably suffered; but this war at sea was conducted by privateers whom a sovereign could disown if necessary; oh, yes, this gathering of treasures was quite another matter, far removed from open war. I knew in my heart that the conflict between Spain and England was not a brief struggle. It was a mighty struggle and it was not only for land, or even religion… not on our side at least; it was for supremacy at sea; it was to rule the ceans, to make them safe for England, to protect our shores and to make our country the greatest sea power in the world. Men like Drake and Raleigh understood this and their purpose shone like a beacon through all their actions. They wanted treasure; they wanted the glory of success in battle; but the prime object was that England should be in command of the high seas—and therein lay their greatness.

I had seen from the first that these men must be encouraged for on their bravery, their skill and their enterprise rested the might of England.

So I loved my adventurers and I was torn between a desire to have them with me at Court or to send them on those adventures which were fraught with danger.

So when Raleigh came to me with an idea for a new enterprise to go forth and bring back treasure for England, I agreed he must carry out his plan; but when the time came for departure, I decided that I could not spare Raleigh. He was too amusing, too brilliant an ornament at Court and I ordered that although the expedition should set sail, it should go without Raleigh. In his place Frobisher should go with Sir John Borough.

Raleigh was somewhat put out, but being Raleigh he did not make this obvious to me and pretended that to be near me was a complete compensation for having been denied the adventure.

I really was getting very fond of him. His manners were so much smoother than those of Essex; that was why his perfidy wounded me so deeply.

Nicholas Throckmorton's daughter, Elizabeth, was one of my maids of honor and she was an exceptionally pretty girl. I had promised myself that I owed it to her father to find a good husband for her, which I intended to do in due course.

I happened, however, to notice that she was becoming unusually absentminded. This came to a head when she dropped some of the pins which held my hair-pieces in place. I told her she was clumsy and she murmured apologies; but she did not improve. I had noticed this look in young women before and I had my suspicions. It invariably meant one thing. The girl had a lover and if my intuition did not deceive me, their frolicking had gone beyond the bounds of respectability.

I decided to question her.

“You are very clumsy lately, Bessie,” I said.

“I crave Your Majesty's pardon,” she replied.

“There is a reason, I believe.”

She flushed. Silly girl! She betrayed herself immediately.

“Well,” I went on, “you had better tell me. It is wiser in these cases before matters go too far. How far have they gone with you, Bess Throckmorton?”

She stammered and flushed and I knew the worst.

“Who is the scoundrel?” I demanded.

She stood before me, eyes downcast, the picture of guilty confusion.

“You know I will not have immorality at my Court!” I shouted.

I gave her a slap at the side of her face which sent her reeling. “Come here,” I said. “Closer.” I took her by the shoulders and shook her. “Now… tell me. Who is it?”

She stammered: “Your Majesty must forgive me if…if…”

“If what?”

“If…I cannot tell you.”

“You cannot tell me?” I caught her by the ear and she gave a squeal of pain as I nipped the lobe between my fingers. There were tears in her foolish eyes.

“Your Majesty,” she began, “we love each other…”

“And you think that is an excuse for misbehaving? Who is it? You had better tell me, girl. How dare you stand there defying me!”

“Your Majesty, I did not mean…”

“Tell me,” I commanded; and she knew then from the tone of my voice and my black looks that she could hold out against me no longer.

“It is Walter, Your Majesty.”

“Raleigh!” I cried.