Meg Cabot - Queen Of Babble: In The Big City

Roberta looks startled. “Well, you’re in an awfully big hurry to get out of here. Christmas shopping?”

“No,” I say. “I have to get to that business that I’m doing for Jill.”

Roberta’s shoulders slump. “Fine,” she says. “But fair warning, Lizzie. This firm prides itself on its sterling reputation. Any whiff of impropriety on your part and you’re gone. Understand?”

“Totally,” I say.

Roberta looks down, dismissing me…

… and I bolt from her office. Heading back to the reception desk to get my coat and purse, I ignore Daryl’s whispered“Yo! What’d you do this time?” and Tiffany’s“Oh my God, are you all right? You look like someone just told you that your Prada handbag is a fake.”

“I’m fine,” I mutter. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Seriously,”Tiffany hisses, “call me and tell me what she said. I’m collecting Roberta stories to submit to the Smoking Gun.”

I wave at her and hurry out, my heart hammering so hard in my chest, I’m afraid it’s going to fly out and hit the wall. When the elevator doors open, I rush inside without even looking to see who else is in there before pounding the button for the lobby. It isn’t until a voice beside me says, “Well, hello there, stranger,” that I look up and see that Chaz is in the car with me.

“Oh my God,” I cry. “Were you going up to see your dad? Why didn’t you say anything? I’d have held the door for you—oh no, and now you’re going down. I’m sorry!”

“Relax,” Chaz says. “I wasn’t going up to see my dad. I was coming to see you.”

“Me?” I’m shocked.

“I was hoping I could take you for a drink,” Chaz says. “And pump you for the information I need about my ex in order for me to start rebuilding my male ego so I can learn to love again.”

I chew my lower lip. “Chaz,” I say. “I am trying really hard not to talk about people behind their backs. It’s this whole new thing with me. I have gotten in so much trouble in the past for being a big mouth, and I’m really trying to change. Because despite what some people think, people can change.”

“Sure they can,” Chaz says. The elevator has reached the lobby. “Come on. Let me take you for a beer at Honey’s.”

I’m about to say I can’t. I know Chaz is hurting, but I have a dress to design. I’m about to say,I have to get to the shop. We have this huge project—which is another thing I can’t talk about—and I’m in a time crunch, so I’ll see you later, okay?

But then I look into his face and see that it’s been a while since he shaved—and, as far as I can tell, changed baseball caps.

Which is how I find myself sitting across from him in one of the red vinyl booths at Honey’s, a sweating diet Coke in front of me, listening to the dwarf sing “Dancing Queen,” a not entirely unpleasant experience.

“I just need to know,” Chaz is saying into his bottle of beer. “I know it sounds stupid, but… I mean… do you think I did something to… turn her?”

“What? Of course not,” I cry. “Chaz! Come on. No.”

“Well, what happened then?” he demands. “I mean, a person isn’t straight one day and then gay the next. Unless maybe I did something to make her—”

“You didn’t,” I say. “Chaz. Trust me. You didn’t. It’s exactly like Shari explained to you. She just fell in love with someone else. And that person just happens to be another woman. It’s no different than if she’d met some other guy she ended up falling for instead of you.”

“Uh,” Chaz says. “It’s different.”

“It’s not,” I say. “It’s still love. Love does crazy things to people. You can’t blame yourself. I know Shari doesn’t blame you. She still loves you. She told you that, right?”

Chaz grimaces. “She mentioned it.”

“Well, it’s true. She does still love you. Just, you know. Not romantically anymore. It happens, Chaz.”

“So you’re saying,” Chaz says slowly, “that I could, conceivably, fall in love with a guy sometime?”

“Conceivably,” I say. Although to tell the truth I really can’t picture Chaz in a homosexual relationship. Or, rather, I can’t picture any of the homosexual guys I’ve known (and dated) actually wanting to be in a relationship with Chaz, seeing as how his fashion sense is less than minimal and he does have an alarming enthusiasm for college basketball and not much interest in home furnishings. I have a much easier time picturing Luke comfortably nesting with another man.

“Have you ?” Chaz wants to know.

“Have I what?” I glance at the clock above the bar. I really need to get to the shop. I have about a million ideas for Jill’s dress and my fingers are itching to get started on them.

“Ever been in love with a woman.”

“Well,” I say slowly. “There are a lot of women in my life I’ve really admired, and wanted to be like, and wanted to get to know better. But not, you know,sexually .”

Chaz is scraping the label off his beer bottle with a thumbnail. “And you and Shari never… er… experimented?”

“Chaz!” I throw my coaster at him. “No! Ew! You and Luke are exactly alike. That’s it, I’m leaving—”

“What?” he cries, looking truly alarmed as he catches my arm before I’ve made my way completely off the end of the bench. “I was just asking! I thought maybe, you know, all girls do that kind of stuff—”

“Well, they don’t,” I inform him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Now let go of my arm, I have to get to work.”

“You just came from work,” he points out.

“My other job,” I say. “At the bridal shop. We have a really big new job, and I want to get started on it.”

“You really like this wedding stuff, don’t you?” he says as, over on the karaoke stage, the dwarf switches from Abba to a little Ashlee Simpson, declaring that, despite what everybody thinks, he didn’t steal my boyfriend. “You really believe in it… the happy ending, the rice… the whole thing.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Of course I do. And I know you’re sad right now, Chaz—and you have every right to be. But someday it will happen for you—I promise. Just like it’s going to happen for me, too.” Maybe sooner than anyone thinks.

“Well, I hope you’re not still counting on making it happen with Mr. Woodland Creature,” Chaz says.

I stare at him. “Why shouldn’t I be?” Then, when I see him rolling his eyes, I say, “Oh, come on, Chaz. Not your horse thing again. For your information, Luke is doing very well in his classes, and, furthermore, he seems ready to take our relationship to a new level.”

Chaz raises his eyebrows. “Threesome?”

I smack him in the center of his baseball cap. “He’s gotten me a Christmas present,” I say, “that he says is an investment toward my future.”

Chaz’s eyebrows furrow in a rush. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What else could it mean?” I ask. “It has to be an engagement ring.”

Chaz frowns. “He hasn’t told me about buying any ring.”

“Well, he’s hardly likely to,” I say, “considering what he knows you’ve recently been through. Do you really think he’s going to brag about getting engaged to me when he knows your girlfriend just left you for a woman?”

“Thanks,” Chaz says. “You really know how to make a guy feel great.”

“Well, you aren’t exactly Mr. Charm yourself,” I say, “with the whole Luke-not-being-a-horse-you-would-bet-on thing. But you’re probably feeling differently about all that now, aren’t you?”

“Truthfully?” Chaz shakes his head. “No. An investment toward your future could be anything. Not necessarily a ring. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, kid. I mean—no offense—the two of you aren’t even spending the holidays together. What does that say about your big happily ever after?”

“Chaz.” I regard him steadily from across the booth before I slide out and leave. “I know Shari hurt you. I frankly can’t believe she did that, although I know it really wasn’t easy for her and she does feel super badly about it. But seriously. Just because your romance didn’t work out doesn’t mean all romances are doomed. You just need to get back out there, find some pretty philosophy Ph.D. candidate you can talk to about Kant or whatever, and you’ll feel better about things. I promise.”

Chaz just stares at me. “Someday you’re really going to have to describe to me in more detail what life is like on the planet you live on. Because it sounds really great, and I’d like to visit there one day.”

I give him a sour smile, and leave the booth, just as the dwarf breaks into his signature piece, “Don’t Cry Out Loud.”

I hope Chaz takes a cue from him.

Makeup

Many brides opt to have their makeup professionally done on their wedding day. This is often a good idea—if there is a professional doing it, then that’s one less thing the bride has to worry about going wrong.

However, too many brides who opt for professional makeup on the big day end up looking as unlike their normal selves as relatives lying in a casket whose faces have been done over by a mortician. Make sure you and your cosmetic specialist are on the same page about color, amount, and shade… and make sure he or she uses a light hand. Yes, you want to look good for your photos—but you also want to look natural and pretty up close to your guests as well. A talented professional makeup artist can easily achieve both.

Some makeup tips to remember:

—Have your first meeting with your makeup professional four weeks before your event. That will give the two of you plenty of time to come up with a look with which you are both happy.

—Your makeup should not be so heavy that your neck and face are two visibly different shades. BLEND!

—You will be shiny on your wedding day from nerves and possibly the heat. Make sure you and your bridesmaids have plenty of blotting tissues on hand, as well as powder.