Yet she was beginning to accept and understand that loving Jack meant taking that risk and trusting him enough to believe that he'd never intentionally hurt her that way.
"Oh my God, Kayla!" Jillian exclaimed appreciatively. "These candies are fabulous. What are they?"
Jolted back to the present, Kayla whirled around and found her sister eating the leftover Caramel Caresses that Kayla hadn't touched since Jack had left her house. Her first instinct was to snatch the box out of her sister's hands and berate her for helping herself to something she had no business eating.
Instead of freaking out over this interesting turn of events, Kayla watched her sister consume another piece of the candy and decided to gauge her reaction to the Caramel Caresses. "Those are part of the new line of candies I'm creating for Pure Indulgence."
"Wow, they're very yummy." Jillian examined another piece closer. "You know, the shape of the candies kind of reminds me of a woman's breast."
"They're meant to look that way, to add to the sensuality of the candy." Kayla washed her sticky hands and dried them on a terry towel, but kept her gaze on her sister, who popped that third candy into her mouth and was chewing blissfully. "Jillian… do you feel anything at all?"
"Feel anything, like what?" Jillian asked, clearly confused as to what Kayla was suggesting.
Kayla recalled all the sensations those aphrodisiac candies had induced in her when she'd eaten them. "Warm. Tingly. Maybe a little… turned on?"
A frown creased Jillian's brows. "Are you having a nervous breakdown?"
"No." Kayla bit her bottom lip, looking for some kind of external sign that her sister was affected by those candies, but found none. "So, you don't feel anything sexual at all?" she persisted, needing to know.
"Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're crazy for thinking a piece of chocolate, or two or three, can send a person's hormones into a frenzy. If that were the case, half the world's population would be walking around, completely turned on all the time."
Realizing that her sister truly wasn't affected by her candies, Kayla experienced a mingled rush of disappointment and relief. Disappointment because her exciting idea to start a new line of aphrodisiac candies at Pure Indulgence wasn't going to happen and she'd have to rethink her strategy with those new confections, and a huge surge of relief because the truth had just set a part of her free.
Free to believe, free to trust, free to love.
And most importantly, free to be herself.
"Why are you asking me these questions, anyway?" Jillian asked as she licked off smudges of caramel from her fingers.
"Because I put an aphrodisiac into those candies, and I needed to know if you had any kind of reaction to them."
Jillian was shocked, but became even more so when Kayla went on to explain that she'd used Jack for her experiment, and that she'd believed that every time they'd made love had been because of those candies.
She'd even fooled herself into believing her own libido had been affected by the stimulant. But it had all been in her mind.
Now Kayla understood what she couldn't bring herself to face that last morning with Jack. She'd wanted so badly to arouse Jack's passion that she'd read more into his sexual advances, certain they stemmed from an aphrodisiac.
The power of suggestion had been strong, her will to believe in something so mystical even stronger because she'd always wanted a man to desire her as intently, as completely, as Jack had when he'd eaten those candies. But she'd never believed it possible.
Jillian grasped Kayla's hand, directing her attention back to her. "Kayla, Jack Tremaine is absolutely crazy about you," she said with a smile. "I saw the way he looked at you that night at the shop when I interrupted the two of you. The whole time I was talking to him he was watching you move around the kitchen. What he feels for you is the real thing."
Finally, Kayla knew that, too. But was she too late to make amends?
"I know that the way Mother treated you, and Doug, too, is a big reason why you find it so hard to believe that a man like Jack can accept all of you, but it can happen. Don't let those damn voices in your head prevent you from moving on with your life. I know you're afraid of putting your emotions out there in the open and facing the possibility of rejection, but some things are worth risking."
And Jack was definitely worth the risk, she knew. "When did you become so smart?" Kayla teased.
"Trust me, there are plenty of brains beneath this blond hair," she said with a sassy toss of her head. "And we've both been in relationships that have played hell on our confidence and self-esteem, so I understand how you feel. But despite being burned before, I do believe that there's someone out there for everyone. A soul mate who'll love us for who we are inside. And I'm thinking maybe you've found yours in Jack."
Jillian's words were so profound, so full of hope and determination that Kayla found herself believing in true love and happily-ever-afters-for herself and Jillian.
And as Kayla gazed at her sister, she realized that despite how slender and beautiful and sophisticated Jillian was, she was just as capable of being hurt, and she'd had her own insecurities to bear, just like any other woman. It just underlined that a person was a lot more than what they showed on the outside.
Which was what Jack had been trying to tell Kayla all along.
Her relationship with Jack had never been based on her weight or body image. That had been her hang-up, her insecurity. And Kayla supposed her decision about whether or not to let Jack into her life was based on a question that every woman, no matter what size or shape, had to ask herself at some point… was she willing to take a risk with her emotions and trust another person with her heart?
Kayla's answer came without hesitation. She was ready and willing to take whatever risks were necessary to have Jack in her life. Even if it meant baring herself to him-heart, body and soul.
Chin held high with every ounce of confidence she possessed, and her heart hammering wildly in her chest, Kayla knocked on the front door of Jack's house. A big, gorgeous, custom-made home that overlooked the ocean and was a testimony to all of Jack's hard work and resulting success over the past years.
She knew he was home, not only because of the Escalade parked in the circular drive, but because she'd gone to Tremaine's Downtown to look for him, only to be told he'd taken the night off. His friend and manager, Rich, had been kind enough to give her his home address, along with a promise that Jack would be thrilled to see her.
Except when Jack opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of navy-blue cotton sweatpants, he didn't look overjoyed to find her standing on his porch. Surprised, yes. Thrilled, no. He stared at her with an uncertainty that made her own chest tighten with a wealth of dread. Most prominent was the fear that he'd changed his mind about her.
Her confidence faltered, but her sister's convictions along with her own-which had replaced those other more destructive voices in her head-now helped her to stay strong. She refused to leave until she set the record straight with Jack about her feelings for him.
"Come on in," he said, and held the door open wider for her to enter.
She walked inside a large foyer, accepting his invitation as a very positive sign. She turned around to face him again and attempted to explain her presence.
"Rich gave me your address and directions-"
"I don't give a damn how you found my place," he said, his voice low and rough, his expression unreadable. "I'm just glad you're here."
Glad … but not thrilled. They were getting there, slowly but surely.
"Come on in," he said again. After shutting the front door, he led the way into a spacious living room.
"Make yourself comfortable," he said, gesturing toward the sofa and love seat. "Would you like something to drink?"
"No, thank you. I'm fine." He was treating her like a casual acquaintance-not that she could really blame him considering the way things had ended between them.
And now she was back, barging into his life, hoping and praying she wasn't too late to make amends. Hoping and praying that what she had to offer him would be enough to earn back his trust. His love. For a lifetime.
He settled himself on the couch, those broad shoulders and strong chest of his momentarily distracting her from her original purpose. Desire settled warm and low in her belly, and that tingling sensation spreading through her veins was pure sexual attraction, an all-natural, aphrodisiac-free lust.
It was a wonderful, glorious feeling.
"Kayla?" he prompted, tipping his head curiously. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"
There were so many reasons why she'd come. So many things she needed to say and share with him. And there was one very important facet of who she was that she needed to show him.
First, she'd start with baring her soul.
"I want to apologize about the candies," she began, and because she was feeling too restless to sit, she remained standing. "I never should have fed them to you, or used you as a guinea pig in my experiment without your knowledge."
He shrugged and stretched his arms along the back of the sofa. "The candies didn't affect me in any way."
"No, but the intent was definitely there on my part, and it was wrong."
He didn't disagree.
She shifted on her sandaled feet and continued. "You know about my past and those insecurities played a big part in my decision to feed you my candies, as a way of protecting my emotions. It was like a big fantasy for me, being ravished without having any expectations of you at all because you were under the influence of an aphrodisiac."
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