Jilly Cooper - Prudence

I was overcome with dizziness when I got out of bed the next morning. I’m going into a decline, I told myself. I dressed and put on a lot of rouge and a huge pair of dark glasses. I found Maggie reading the Sunday papers, still wearing Copeland’s hat.

‘Hullo,’ she said, her eyes avid with curiosity. ‘We were worried about you. What on earth did you and Ace get up to?’

‘Nothing,’ I said quickly. ‘I suddenly got a terrible headache.’

‘I don’t know what’s the matter with Ace,’ she said. ‘He’s so sour this morning you could make yoghurt out of him. He’s got Rose in the drawing-room going through the bills. I wish I was a fly on the wall.’

‘Poor Rose,’ I said. ‘He does jackboot around, doesn’t he?’

‘Don’t blame him really,’ said Maggie. ‘Rose hasn’t paid a bill since he left, not to mention selling the Romney. Then there’s the couple of grand here, and the couple of grand there she’s touched him for to do up the kitchen, and the roof and the drawing-room. And you can see how much “doing up” there’s been.’

She picked up a colour supplement and began to flip through it.

‘And what about your new house?’ I said.

‘Oh Jack’s paid for most of that, although Rose pretends she has. I wish I could work up some enthusiasm about it.’

She went over to the window. ‘Jack and Pendle’ve taken the boat out. I think I might ride this afternoon. Jack’s got to work.’

Next moment Rose came out of the study, looking red-eyed. ‘Tell Mrs Braddock I don’t want any lunch,’ she said faintly, and ran upstairs.

A minute later we heard the telephone click.

‘Straight on to Copeland,’ said Maggie. ‘A thin lot of good he’ll be to her.’

But in ten minutes we saw Rose flash past the door in dark glasses and a huge blond fur coat. The front door slammed and there was a scrunch on the gravel as the car drove off.

Lunch was a nightmare — I kept going into a cold sweat and I couldn’t eat a thing. Fortunately they were all arguing too heatedly to notice me.

After much bickering, Pendle was persuaded to go riding.

‘What about Pru?’ said Maggie.

‘There aren’t enough horses,’ I said quickly.

‘She’s so light she can ride one of the ponies,’ said Ace.

‘She’d be happier curled up in front of the fire helping me write this damned report,’ said Jack.

Ace’s eyes were boring into me.

‘I’d like to ride,’ I said firmly.

‘I think you’ll find this one easier than the one you had yesterday,’ said Ace later, as he gave me a leg up.

He reached forward and took off my dark glasses. ‘Don’t ride in those,’ he said, putting them in his pocket. ‘It’s dangerous if you fall off.’ He looked at me closer. ‘You look terrible. Are you all right?’

‘I’ll get by,’ I said coldly.

Maggie — contrary to her normal lethargy — rode like a gipsy. She thought nothing of slithering down a ravine or clearing a five-foot wall.

It was a beautiful day, but great black clouds were massing ominously on the horizon and a chill wind was ruffling the lake. Above us on the mountains sheep were wending their way along the ancient tracks.

About half a mile from home we entered a long grassy ride. Suddenly, Maggie dug her heels into the chestnut.

‘Come on, Pen,’ she shrieked. ‘Race me to the end.’ She got a good start, but Pendle immediately thundered after her. Ace was cantering easily and even my pony trundled along furiously.

Maggie was still whooping herself into the lead, but Pendle, using his whip now, was gaining on her. His horse’s coat turned black with sweat. A wall loomed in the distance. Maggie was making for a gap, but just as Pendle drew level with her, her horse pecked and she was thrown over its head. She lay in a crumpled heap. Pendle pulled up his horse with such force that it reared round in the air. He was off it like lightning, running to Maggie, his face ashen.

‘Maggie,’ he said hoarsely, ‘Maggie, darling, for God’s sake say something! Darling, you can’t do this to me.’

Suddenly Maggie opened her eyes and smiled at him sweetly.

‘Darling Pen, what a pretty speech. I must pretend to pass out more often.’

Pendle’s face twisted with rage. ‘God, you bitch!’ He slapped her viciously across the face. Maggie gave a moan and burst into tears. Pendle jerked her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

‘Pendle,’ snarled Ace. ‘For Christ’s sake!’

Pendle looked up, the fury and defiance in his eyes were terrifying. ‘To hell with you all!’ he said. ‘She’s mine and I love her.’

I’m not built for drama — it was just like a trailer at the cinema. I swung my fat pony round and cantered off the way we’d come, crying great tearing sobs. It started raining and I was soon soaked to the skin. Dusk was falling as I rode up to the house. Jack was standing in the doorway.

‘My poor darling,’ he said in dismay. ‘Ace is out looking for you. Go and get dry. I’ll look after the pony for you.’

I dragged myself upstairs. I was feeling really ill. I peeled off my wet clothes and sat on the bed in my bra and pants, my teeth going like castanets.

There was a knock on the door and Ace barged in.

‘Where the hell did you get to?’ he said.

‘Oh, go away,’ I said. I swayed as I got up to reach for my dressing-gown.

He caught my arm. ‘Sit down,’ he said more gently, putting a hand on my forehead.

‘I’ll be fine in a minute.’

He felt the sheets of my bed and grimaced. ‘Damp, of course.’ He put my dressing-gown round my shoulders and led me across the passage. ‘Get into my bed. At least it’s dry.’

I lay down and stared at the photograph beside the bed. This must be Elizabeth. She had a soft, shining face, and masses of cloudy dark hair — no wonder he had loved her.

He came back with a thermometer.

‘You can’t possibly travel tonight,’ he said, when he’d looked at my temperature.

‘Stop bullying me!’ I snapped, trying to get out of bed.

‘See for yourself,’ he said, showing me the thermometer.

It was nearly a hundred and four.

‘Help!’ I shrieked, whipping back into bed. ‘I’m dying!’

He handed me two pills. ‘They’ll make you sleep.’

He stood over me till I’d taken them. There was a knock on the door. It was Pendle. His face was grey, but he looked quite calm. Ace left us to it.

Pendle came over and took my hand. ‘Sorry you’re sick,’ he said.

I turned my face away to hide the tears.

‘I should never have brought you here,’ he said. ‘It was a bloody trick, but when you’re desperate, you try anything. I was attracted by you, Pru, but Maggie’s like a drug.’

‘I understand,’ I said, feeling like St Teresa on her deathbed.

He looked so haggard I suddenly wanted to comfort him.

‘Please take me with you,’ I whispered.

‘Ace’ll look after you,’ he said. ‘I’ll come and pick you up next Friday.’

Those pills must have been killers. He’d only been gone a few minutes when great waves of sleep rolled over me.

I woke next morning back in my own bed and not feeling any better. A fire had been lit in the grate. The smoke made me cough. Ace and Jack came in to see me on their way to the firm’s board meeting.

‘I’ve left a note for Mrs Braddock to ring the doctor,’ said Ace.

Hours later Maggie wandered in. ‘I tried to ring the doctor just now but he was engaged. I think he hunts on Monday anyway. Blasted Mrs Braddock’s got flu, too. Do you need anything?’

‘I’d love some water,’ I said.

She filled the jug from the bathroom. She was wearing a silver-grey silk shirt.

‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ she said. ‘Ace brought it me from America. I’ve been dying to have a gossip with you. Wasn’t it awful Pen grabbing me like that? You missed the best part, rushing off. They simply swore at each other after you’d gone. Ace is getting so righteous, he really ought to go into the church.’

‘It’s only his family being hurt that he minds,’ I said. Heavens, who was I to defend him? But Maggie wasn’t listening.

‘It’s incredible this thing Pen has for me,’ she said. ‘He felt guilty about you. D’you know, he deliberately brought you up here because he knew Jack would fancy you. But I told him not to worry, you were having such fun with Jack. Perhaps we should swap.’

It’s a vicious circle, I thought wearily. She droned on until Rose walked in.

‘Hullo, sweetie, how are you? Mrs Braddock’s got the bug. Such a bore — cold meat again for supper. Mustn’t come too near; flu can play havoc with one’s looks at my age. Are you ready, Maggie?’

‘Is it time to go?’ said Maggie.

‘We’re going out, darling,’ said Rose to me. ‘You’ll be all right. They always say starve a fever. We’ll be back soon.’ She drifted out on a wave of expensive scent.

At first I was glad to be left in peace, but as the hours limped by and night fell, I began to get frightened. One moment I was drenched in icy sweat, the next hot as a volcano. It started to rain and the wind was rising.

The telephone rang. I dragged myself out of bed. Black whirls of giddiness overwhelmed me. It took hours to get along the passage, and as I reached the telephone it stopped ringing.

Burglars, I thought in terror, ringing to see if anyone was in. A door was banging. The wind was rattling the trees against the window pane. I staggered back to bed, delirious with fear.

I don’t remember how long I waited, but suddenly another door banged downstairs. Someone was coming up the stairs, moving lightly but inevitably towards me.