CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Vance found Caleb asleep in the front room of the office with his feet up on the desk. She closed the door quietly behind her and started toward the dispensary area in the rear.

"He hasn't come around yet," Caleb said without opening his eyes.

"I'll stay with him now. You go on home."

Caleb eased his feet off the desk, his chair creaking in protest as he shifted his weight forward. Wearily, he rubbed at the stubble on his chin. "Must be about time to get up."

"It's going on six." Vance inclined her head toward the back room.

"If you get a few more hours' sleep, you can spell me here later. Then I'll take care of the out calls."

"You spent most of yesterday on a horse, didn't you?"

Vance hesitated a second. The events of the day before seemed to be in the far-distant past. "I did, yes. But there's no reason I can't do it again."

"I wasn't entirely sure I needed help out here until you arrived,"

Caleb said as he stood and stretched. "Now I see that there's a lot of things that didn't get done because I didn't have time to do them before.

There are a good many people who will be a lot better off because one of us will be able see to them more often. Since we're partners, we should share the work."

"I expect it will take a bit more time before I've earned that right,"

Vance said quietly.

"Out here, things are simpler than I expect you're used to. You're here, you're doing a good job, and I need you to keep doing it. That's all the time it takes for me to see how things should be."

With a shake of her head, Vance said, "I don't know that I would call your way of thinking simple. Practical, or perhaps honest."

Caleb shrugged. "The point is, life's too short to waste time thinking about how to live it. Best just to do it."

Vance thought of Mae's parting words and wondered if she really was afraid of living. She'd never thought of it before, never really considered her choices. The world was black and white and she knew her place in it. Now, with Victor gone, she was alone as she had never been before. She'd lost her home, her most intimate relationship, her sense of wholeness in less than a year. Along the way, she'd lost herself as well. She sighed. "I'd better see to him."

"I'll head on home for a while. See the missus and get something to eat." Caleb donned his hat and coat. "If something urgent comes up, send someone for me."

"I'll do that. Thank you."

He eyed her curiously. "For what?"

"For giving me this chance."

"Can't say as I've done anything except recognize a good deal when I see one. If it's something more than that for you, it's of your own making." He shrugged. "When you get down to it, everyone out here is working on another chance."

Vance smiled. "Then I guess I'm not so different."

"Nope," Caleb said as he opened the front door and breathed deeply of the crisp morning air. "Not much different where it counts.

See you later, Vance."

"Good day, Caleb." When the door closed behind him, Vance opened the inner door and stepped into the dim back room. The air smelled of medicines and must and horses. The odor of death and decay that had been so pervasive in the hospital tents during the war was gone. As she approached the bed where Jed lay beneath a light cover, she saw his eyelids flicker. Quickly, she put her hand on his shoulder, anticipating his awakening.

"Jed," she said firmly, hoping to penetrate his drug- and pain- fogged mind. "You're at Doc Melbourne's. You've been shot, Jed, but you're still among the living."

Slowly, Jed opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. He clutched at the covers, as if they could shield him from further harm. He coughed and groaned quietly.

"I'm Dr. Phelps. You're at Doc Melbourne's now. We took the bullet out last night. You're doing very well."

"Where's Jess?"

Vance was caught off guard by the question and struggled to make sense of it. She hadn't paid any attention to the other cowboys who had been gathered near the office when she'd made her way in the night before. "I don't kno--" Jed pushed the covers back and struggled to sit.

"Here now, don't try to get up."

The slightest pressure from Vance's hand on Jed's shoulder prevented him from rising. Frowning, he shifted in agitation beneath her restraining grip. "Is she hurt? Did they get her, too? I want to see her."

Her. Vance nodded in understanding, recalling Kate with the tall rangy blond the night before. Then she remembered where she'd first seen the unusual cowboy--the day she'd arrived on the stage they'd exchanged a few words in the street. So that was Jessie. Kate's Jessie, apparently, if the intimacy that was obvious between them meant anything. The night she'd escorted Kate home, Kate had said she'd found her love in New Hope. Love for Jessie. Vance was taken with a surge of wonder mixed with a bit of envy. This land was indeed filled with possibility.

"Jessie is fine," Vance said emphatically. "I expect she'll be along anytime. I'm going to give you something for your pain...and don't tell me you're not having any."

Jed closed his eyes. "I wasn't thinking I would."

"This won't take away all the discomfort," Vance said as she opened the bottle of laudanum. "Too much of this and you'll trade one misery for another."

"Don't want much of it."

"You needn't worry. I'll keep an eye on things." She rested the spoon against his lips and when he opened his mouth a fraction she tipped the liquid onto his tongue. She could remember the faintly bitter taste and the rapid spread of soothing heat through her bloodstream that softened her muscles, blunted her pain, and culminated in a blessed state of forgetfulness. On occasion she still succumbed to the need to escape, but a bottle of whiskey was all she would allow herself. The alcohol was far easier to leave behind the next day. "Go ahead and sleep."

When she was certain that Jed was resting comfortably, she returned to the front office, leaving the adjoining door ajar. She settled into Caleb's chair, propped her feet on the desk in the same scuffed spot where he obviously rested his with regularity, and closed her eyes.

She did not expect to sleep; a light doze was all she usually was able to accomplish under any circumstances.

The thud of boot heels on wood brought her bolting to her feet, her hand on her revolver.

"Whoa," Jessie exclaimed, stopping abruptly. She recognized the doctor, but could tell from the wild fire in her eyes she'd been somewhere else just seconds before and wasn't quite altogether here even now. "I'm Jessie Forbes. That's my man back there. I've come to see him."

"I remember you." Vance took a deep breath and focused on the present. From the looks of the sunlight visible through the front windows, she'd been asleep for at least an hour, if not more. She couldn't remember dreaming, which was unusual. "He's probably asleep, but he was asking for you earlier."

Jessie's eyes lit up. "He was awake?"

"For a minute or so."

"So he's going to be all right?"

Vance walked to the dispensary door and closed it. "I don't know.

The bullet came out cleanly but the wound is deep. He lost a fair amount of blood."

Jessie paled and forced her shoulders back, as if preparing for a fight. She studied the rail-thin, dark-haired doctor with the haunted eyes, trying to decide how much store to put in her opinion. She noticed her hand had relaxed and moved away from her sidearm. She'd come awake ready to fight, which meant she'd had to more than a time or two. Jessie respected that. The missing arm said a lot about her, too.

Wounds like that killed most men. So she was strong as well as tough.

Jessie judged that was as much as she needed to know. "What else?"

"In his favor," Vance went on, "he looks like a fighter."

Jessie smiled wryly. "I wouldn't want to take him on."

"That's good. He'll need to be tough." Vance settled a hip on the corner of the desk. "It'll be a few weeks before he's on his feet, if things go well. Another couple before he can ride."

"When can we move him to the ranch?"

"It might be better if he stayed in town. It would be easier for me or Doc Melbourne to check him, and he'll need some proper nursing."

"Mae would be willing to take care of him here," Jessie said.

"She's done it before. She's done it for me. Still, I'd feel better if he was at the Rising Star."

"I didn't realize Mae did that kind of thing," Vance said quietly.

"There isn't much Mae can't do, and nothing she wouldn't do for a friend."

Vance heard the admiration and affection in Jessie's voice and felt a ripple of jealousy. Jessie Forbes gave every sign of being what Vance had once been--cocksure of herself, strong and fit, in charge of her life. She was also a handsome woman, clear eyed and well built. Vance could see her swinging Mae off her feet, Mae with her arms around those strong shoulders, laughing-- "Can I see him now?" Jessie asked.

"Yes," Vance said swiftly, forcing the painful images from her mind. "Of course."

v "Mae!" Kate called as she recognized her friend crossing the street toward the hotel. She hurried down the board sidewalk toward her.

"You're in town early," Mae said, lifting her skirts to climb the two stairs up to the raised walkway that ran along the front of the buildings.

"Jessie and I stayed at the hotel last night. Jessie has gone off to check on Jed. I was just on my way to the newspaper office to see if my father had come into work yet." Kate slipped her arm through Mae's.