And then suddenly Nora began to consider if this was the last spring she would sit here and look out at her backyard. She had designed the layout of the garden herself. Worked with Mr. Handlemann to oversee the plantings all those years ago. It was so perfect, and she wasn't ready yet to give this all up to strangers. Whatever happens, she thought grimly, I am going to keep this house. Jeff is not going to sell it so he can buy his damned co-op for some other woman! Let him take a mortgage. If he wants to play, he's got to pay. I deserve my home. All he did was pay a mortgage. He never told me, but his mother did. He didn't save the money for the down payment. His father gave him the ten percent, and my father gave him the other ten percent. I made this house what it is. It's mine! I won't let him take it from me! And then she began to cry. She wept herself into a small headache before her tears finally subsided. Nora got up and, walking into the powder room, grabbed a handful of tissues and blew her nose. Then she washed her face. J. J. would be home from school soon, and she didn't want him to catch her crying.

I need Kyle, she thought again. How am I going to access The Channel if my son is upstairs doing his homework? But if someone walked into the den while I was in The Channel, what would they see? She had absolutely no idea. She had to take the chance, and it had to be tonight. Then she laughed softly. The Channel was like some sort of drug, and she was hooked. She went back into the kitchen, called Suburban Cable, and ordered The Channel for this evening. She could go on it anytime. She'd wait until J. J. was fast asleep, and she'd keep the sound on mute. And having made that decision, she felt better. A whole lot better. She let herself think about Kyle's hard young body. His big tireless dick. The mouth that kissed so well, sucking on her lips, her nipples, and her clit. She could almost taste him in her mouth, and felt herself suddenly wet with need. The sound of J. J.'s car screeching into the driveway drew her swiftly from her reverie.

She got up, and with a familiarity borne of habit, she opened the fridge and pulled out a soda, setting it on the table. Then, going to a pantry cabinet, she got out a bag of his favorite cheese crunchies. She smiled, remembering that as kids, her children had had to eat those damned cheese things in the kitchen, and then wash their hands before going anywhere else in the house. She had learned that after finding yellow cheesy fingerprints on the living room couch.

"Hey!" J. J. came into the kitchen, his eyes lighting up at the sight of the cheese crunchies and soda. Pulling the bag open, he stuffed some in his mouth, then opened the can, drinking some of it down immediately.

"Hey," Nora said back at him. "Sit down. We have to talk."

"What's up, Ma?" he asked her.

"Rick came by earlier. I gave him a sandwich, and we talked. Daddy's lawyer is a tough guy, and it looks pretty bad right now, but Rick says it's just negotiating tactics."

"How bad? And Ma, remember I'm eighteen now. You don't have to soften it for me like you do with Jill," J. J. told his mother.

"You may not be able to go to college this year," Nora began. "Dad says he's through paying. He paid Jill's first year at Duke Law, but after that, she's got to get aid. He says he won't pay for your first year at State, and it's too late for us to go for aid. Grandma's already shelled out fifteen thousand dollars to help us. I just don't know if I can ask her for more, and you can't pitch a tent on campus."

"What happened to my college fund? The one he was always shoving in our faces every Christmas morning, and bragging about?" J. J. wondered.

"Those papers he asked you to sign a couple of months ago, right after your eighteenth birthday?"

"Yeah, something about taxes," J. J. said.

"That's where the money went," Nora said.

"You mean he stole our college funds?" J. J. was outraged.

"Well, honey, it was his money, after all," Nora began.

"Oh, crap, Ma! Don't defend him. Please don't defend him! Every efffing Christmas for as long as I can remember he was waving the year-end statement at us, and saying how we'd never have to leave college with a lot of debt. That his father did it for him, and he was doing it for us. What a scam! Where's the money gone?"

"I don't know," Nora lied. "Maybe it's just one of those legal negotiating tactics that Rick says we're going to see a lot of, honey."

"I'm going to lose my soccer scholarship if I don't go this year. They're not going to hold a sports scholarship until I can come."

"Well, he has paid your sister's first year at law school," Nora reminded her son.

"Yeah, he would. Jill was always his favorite," J. J. said almost bitterly. "And think of the bragging rights he's got. 'My daughter is at Duke Law.' He's probably yapped about it so much already that he couldn't not pay. He knows Jill will get the moneys she needs for her other two years. Besides, it actually isn't costing him any more than if she'd done her undergrad work in four years instead of three. He's always been a cheapskate, Ma, and you know it. Damn! What the hell am I going to do?"

"J. J., you wanted the truth, and I've told you the truth," Nora said. "We will find a way, I promise you. But there's more, honey. My car's lease is almost up, and I can't afford to buy it. It has to go back to the dealership. Your car is about to become the family car. I'm sorry. Daddy won't buy the car for me, and he won't pay for car insurance either. Rick is seeking insurance we can afford."

J. J. looked up at her. His face was that of the Jeff she had once known. "Ma, why is he doing this to you? To us? What did we do wrong?" His voice was strained.

"Honey, I don't know. You know there's another woman involved. I think your father wants everything to be perfect for them. The problem is he can't make it perfect without a lot of money. He wants to sell the house. He's taken the college funds for himself. He's jettisoning his old life to make a new life. He doesn't know what else to do, I'm afraid. But J. J., I don't want you to worry. I'll do the worrying for this family. You need to concentrate on your exams. I will not let your father sell this house from under us. It is my house. Our home. He's not going to get it. Okay?" She tipped his face up to hers, looking directly into his blue eyes. "Okay?" she repeated.

He gave her a weak smile. "Okay," he said. "But I think Dad's a real shit, Ma, and don't yell at me for using that language."

"Not this time," Nora told him. "I am forced to agree with your rather astute assessment, my son." She gave him a small smile.

J. J. grinned back. "I don't mind if I have to stay home. You need someone to look after you," he told her.

"You are going to college, young man," Nora said firmly. "And I'm going to learn how to operate a computer, and take a course in how to get a job so I can support myself, and you. It's an adventure, J. J., and I'm actually looking forward to it."

"You are the greatest, Ma," he replied. "I would have thought that you would have gone to pieces over this, but you haven't. You're real strong. You even seem happier, and you're even starting to look different. Prettier."

"Thanks, babe," she said. "Now go study, and I'll start dinner." His words surprised her. After he had disappeared from the kitchen, she walked into the hall and looked at herself in the mirror. Was she beginning to lose weight? And her face seemed to have lost those stress lines she had been wearing for months. Nothing like a whole lot of loving to make a woman feel better, Nora thought mischievously. She could hardly wait to get to The Channel. She returned to the kitchen and began getting the supper ready for the two of them.

Afterwards she curled up in the den with a magazine, waiting, waiting for her son to go to bed. Just before midnight he came down, got himself a glass of milk, and said, "I'm going to hit the sack now, Ma. You really should go to bed yourself."

"Good article," she told him, waving the magazine. "I'll be up eventually." She heard his footsteps retreating back upstairs. She waited another hour just to be certain. Then she crept upstairs, and peeped in his room. J. J. lay deep in sleep. Taking the empty milk glass, she slipped from the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. Hurrying back downstairs, she put the glass in the dishwasher, and then almost ran into the den to turn on the television, her eager fingers punching in sixty-nine. And there was her apartment on the screen. Nora placed her hand flat against the screen, and to her vast relief was immediately in the living room.

"Kyle!" she called. "Are you here?"

He came through the open bedroom door, and Nora flew into his arms. He kissed her hungrily. "God, Nora, I missed you! You said you'd come last night."

"I couldn't. J. J. is home at night now. Kyle, if he came into the den now, what would he see?" she asked.

"I guess what's here," he told her. "I don't really know."

"Then I can't stay," Nora said. "I can't take the chance of his seeing this."

"Don't go," he begged her. "I need you, baby."

She could see the thick ridge beneath his black silk boxers. "I need you too," she said. "But it's too dangerous, Kyle."

"Look," he began reasonably, "from the other side you can just see the living room. If we went into the bedroom and closed the door, if anyone came into your den, all they would see is the living room. And if the kid's asleep, Nora, we have time. Is he a sound sleeper? Does he wake up in the night?"

"J. J.?" She laughed. "No. When he socks, he's good for at least six hours."

"Then we can take an hour for ourselves, can't we?" he tempted. "I've got some very nice champagne on ice in the bedroom, and I've been eating raw oysters all evening waiting for you." He pulled the sash of her robe open, and began to play with her breasts. "It would be a shame to let this go to waste," he told her, pulling his penis from his shorts. "I want to do you, Nora. I need it. You need it too."