Tamsyn Bester - Precious Consequences

“Yes. I want the whole package.”

~ Hayley ~

“Will you stop fussing with your hair?” Hannah chides, swatting my hands away. “You’re going to undo all my hard work!”

I roll my eyes, earning another slap on the shoulder. She’s spent the last hour helping me get ready for my second ‘first date’ with Cameron. After he told me about his father, it felt like something between us shifted into place, rather than out.

We’re spending Thanksgiving together the day after tomorrow, and to say that I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m meeting his mother and his sister, and I know they are the two most important people in his life, next to his father. I’m worried about what they’ll think of me, not because of Arianna, but because of how young I am to have her. I haven’t told Cameron about it though, he’s too excited for me to ruin it with my silly concerns.

But that’s tomorrow’s problem. Tonight is about us, and about figuring out where we go from here, one step at a time. I’m nervous about our date, but for a whole other reason. I’m staying over at Cameron’s house. Alone. With Cameron. Because his sister is so close to her due date, Cameron’s mother decided it was best if she stayed at their house for a few nights. Cameron actually insisted she'd go because she spends too much time cooped up at home, fussing over Cameron’s father. They have two full time nurses who take care of him so there’s no reason for her worry while she’s gone.

“Did you pack your new lingerie?” Taylor asks from her spot on my bed. I nod, looking down, and feel my cheeks grow warm. When I told Hannah and Taylor, who have also become really good friends, what Cameron had in mind for tonight, they both dragged me to a mall an hour away and took me shopping for new underwear and lingerie. Much to my humiliation, they made me try it all on as soon as we got home, even the lacy matching bra and panty sets had to be showcased. It was the first time someone other than my grandmother had seen me in my underwear after I had Ari, and it made me feel self-conscious. Somehow, Hannah and Taylor both made me feel at ease about it, however it has been short-lived since I’m not feeling as confident right now.

“Cam is going to f-r-e-a-k when he sees you in that black baby doll nightie,” Hannah throws in. So not helping my need to throw up, I think to myself.

“He’s not going to be able to keep his hands to himself,” Taylor chimes in, exchanging a look with Hannah. Bitches. None of this is helping. I’m still so damn nervous.

“How do I even know it’ll happen tonight?” I ask quietly. “What if it’s too soon? Don’t you think I’m rushing into this?”

Hannah turns me to face her, giving me her are you serious? look.

“It doesn’t have to happen tonight,” she says. “But if it feels right, then let it happen, Hayls.”

“But I’m nervous. It’s the first time I’ll be with someone like that after…” my words trail off. I don’t need to explain further because Hannah and Taylor both know everything about my past, even a little more than Cameron does. That little fact makes me feel a tiny bit guilty but that’s something I’ll have to deal with another time. Right now I have a more serious dilemma on my hands. I could possibly be having sex with Cameron for the first time and I’m terrified. Not because I think it’ll suck, but because I’ve never opened myself up so entirely, both physically and emotionally. Even in high school, when I used to distract myself with guys all the time, it was always purely physical. I never got my emotions involved. Until now.

“Sweetheart, trust me, I understand,” Taylor says, walking over to where Hannah and I are standing. “But Hannah is right. If it feels right, then timing isn’t important. What’s important is that it’s what you both want.”

“And I can tell you, in complete honesty, that Cam is just as nervous as you are for tonight, but he’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to,” Hannah adds.

“He’s nervous too?” I squeak.

Hannah chuckles. “Yes, he is. He spoke to Noah, and I happened to overhear.”

I sigh, feeling my shoulders relax. “Okay then. I guess we’ll have to see how it all goes.”

“And please,” Taylor pipes up, zipping my overnight bag. “If you’re about to, you know, please think about those of us who are going through a dry spell, alright? Do it for those of us who aren’t gettin’ any!”

That’s all it takes for the three of us to burst into a fit of laughter. My nerves subside slightly until my grandmother knocks on my door.

“Come in, Gama,” I call out.

The door opens and Ari walks in, followed by Macy and my grandmother. Ari comes over to me and throws her arms up. I rest her on my hip and turn to my grandmother.

“You look lovely, sweetheart,” she says smiling at me proudly. “I believe there’s a young man waiting downstairs. And don’t worry, I strip searched him, he’s good to go.” She winks and laughs at my expression. I always knew this woman was batshit crazy but God, I love her.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” I tell her.

She closes my door and I look at Hannah and Taylor. “Are you sure you girls will survive a night alone with my grandmother?” I ask. They’re having a movie night here tonight and looking after Ari while I’m with Cameron.

“We’ll be fine,” Hannah replies. “Now quit staling and get your hot mamma ass downstairs.”

Ari looks at Hannah and yells, “Hot mamma ass!”

I raise my eyebrows while Taylor and Hannah start howling with laughter.

“It’s not funny, Han,” I chuckle. “I don’t want my baby growing up with a potty mouth.”

I scrunch my nose and rub it against Ari’s, causing a sweet giggle to come out her mouth. “Okay, monkey pants, we’d better not keep Cameron waiting. You ready to go meet him?”

Ari smiles at me, probably not understanding a word I’ve just said. With Taylor and Hanna behind me, I throw my overnight bag over my shoulder and walk downstairs with Ari on my hip. Cameron has his back to me when I reach the last step and I take in how good he looks from behind. When he turns around, I bite the inside of my mouth to stop the shiver of anticipation that threatens to pulse through my body. He looks…edible. His dark jeans hang from his hips and his thighs. Oh those thighs… His red button up shirt shows off his strong, muscular chest and the sleeves, rolled up to his elbows, show just a hint of the tattoo on his right bicep. His eyes land on me and he gives me that half-grin that I love, bringing out his dimple.

“Hi,” he says. I think I hear nervousness in his voice but I’m not sure. If he’s nervous he’s hiding it well. I walk closer to him and both Hannah and Taylor disappear into the kitchen.

“Hi,” I reply, feeling like an idiot the minute the word leaves my mouth. Say something else, you moron. Ari wiggles on my hip, reminding me that Cameron has yet to meet her. Suddenly my nerves are back, and my stomach flutters. What if he doesn’t like her? Or worse, what if Ari doesn’t like him? Well, I brace myself; it’s time to find out.

“Cameron, this is my daughter, Arianna,” I say, watching the way he looks at her. At the sound of her name Ari looks up. Only, it’s not me she looks at, it’s Cameron. She watches him carefully, like her little two-year-old mind is sizing him up. “Ari, this is Cameron. Can you say hi?”

Ari smiles shyly at him, not saying a word. It’s when he reaches out his arms to her that I’m surprised, and when she willingly falls out of my arms and into his, I’m in shock. Ari is friendly enough, but I’ve never seen her go to a stranger so easily. Ari looks at Cam, smiling her shy smile again, and touches his face. Their interaction has me speechless.

“Hi Princess Ari,” Cameron says, looking down at my little girl. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Instead of responding verbally, Ari simply wraps her arms around Cameron’s neck. I feel my throat tighten and grow thick with everything I feel in this moment. Relief. Fear. Amazement. Gratitude. Awe. All of it.

“Are you guys ready to go?”

I turn around and see Hannah standing in the doorway to the kitchen. The look on her face tells me she saw the whole thing, yet she doesn’t look as surprised as I’m sure I do.

“There’s been a slight change in plans,” Cameron answers, looking at Hannah and then at me. My stomach does a slight dive and I’m hoping he doesn’t want to cancel. I swallow, and wait.

“Arianna is coming with us,” he says.

I stare at him.

“Here’s her bag,” Taylor says, smirking. She walks past me, Macy on her hip, and hands Ari’s bag to Cameron.

“This was the plan all along?” I ask surprised.

Cameron smiles. “Yes. I’m taking both of you on our date tonight.”

My hearty swells and I feel like it’s going to burst. I feel tears coming but I bite my tongue until the threat has passed.

“I will come get her in a few hours and then we’ll all see you tomorrow at Cameron’s house for Thanksgiving,” Hannah pipes up, ushering us towards the door.

I pull my jacket on while Cameron helps Ari with hers. Seems she’s decided to attach herself to him.

“And remember,” Hannah says softly, so that only I can hear. “If it’s meant to happen it will. Just have fun, enjoy it.”

She smiles at me and I kiss her cheek, whispering ‘thank you’ before heading out the door. Cameron straps Ari into a car seat while I climb in the front passenger seat.

When he joins me, he catches me staring, a smile playing at my lips. “What?” he asks, starting the ignition and pulling away from the curb.