I’m walking past a grass patch, between the campus coffee shop and the library, when a familiar laugh stops me in my tracks. I turn quickly and immediately wish I hadn’t. Hayley and Hannah are sitting on a bench under a huge oak tree, sipping coffees and laughing about something. I walk a little closer, but stay far enough away so that neither of them would see me if they look my way. I’m just close enough so that I can hear bits of their conversation. I step out of the way of other students and watch her. She throws her head back and her glorious, sweet laugh fills the air. It travels, reaching me, pulling me to her. Her nose scrunches when Hannah says something and I chuckle. She’s so damn cute when she does that.

I take another step closer, catching more of their conversation. I’m curious to know what they’re talking about.

“Are you sure you can’t come?” Hayley whines. “It’ll be fun. We need a girl’s night out. We’re going to a bar, just outside of town.”

Hannah smiles, replying, “I would but I have a date.” She wriggles her eyebrows and Hayley slaps her lightly on the arm.

“You’re worse than a teenage boy,” Hayley remarks.

Hannah snorts. “What? We have needs, too, you know! You can’t tell me you won’t meet a hot-blooded man tonight, Hayls. Even moms need to get laid.”

Hannah bumps Hayley’s shoulder but Hayley smiles awkwardly and looks down. I clench my fist and mentally kick myself in the balls for being curious about their damn conversation. The idea of Hayley being with someone else, his hands on her body, his mouth on hers, shouldn’t upset me. But it does. It almost makes me violent. I turn around, ready to leave, when Hayley responds. “Han, how many times do I have to tell you, I want more than just one night of hot, suck-the-nails-out-of-the-wall sex. And you know my first experience with a guy after Ari wasn’t exactly the greatest.”

I wince, not only because of the resignation and disappointment in her voice, but because it’s me she’s talking about. Not wanting to hear another word, I walk away. My anger simmers just below the surface, a slow tormenting kind of self-loathing. I have no one else but myself to blame for how I handled the situation with Hayley. And now I’m paying for it, by settling for friendship when I know it’s not enough.

Since it’s Friday, I decide to skip the routine house party at Noah’s house and find myself walking into the bar just outside of town instead. I check my watch. It’s only six thirty, I doubt Hayley is here yet. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here, but I’m here. I walk up to the bar, order a beer and take a seat in a badly lit corner. The bar is dirty, and smells like sweat and stale beer. The lights are dim, giving a feint glow that illuminates some old hunting and football memorabilia on the walls. I check my watch again and as I look up, I see Hayley walk in, a blonde girl at her side who I assume is her friend. She’s already so out of place in a dump like this, especially when she looks the way she does. My eyes travel down her body as I watch her walk over to the bar. Her dark blue skinny jeans wrap around her legs like a second skin and show off her wide hips. Her body looks remarkable for someone who has a kid, I’ll give her that. She takes off her jacket, making her long brown hair bounce, and reveals a skintight black long sleeved V-neck shirt. It’s a simple outfit, finished off with a pair of brown cowboy boots, but it’s the way it fits her body that gets the attention of the guys, and older men, around her. I sit up and grind my teeth when a tall, lanky guy approaches Hayley and her friend. She smiles sweetly and shakes her head while taking a seat. I relax and finish off my beer. I feel like a creeper, watching Hayley from my spot in the dark corner, but it’s better than the alternative. That being that she ends up going home with one of these white trash assholes.

“Can I get you anything else?” A waitress stands next to me, leaning in a little too close when she grabs my empty beer bottle. Her tits graze my arm and she smiles at me with what I think is meant to be seduction. But it’s not working. Her perfume is overwhelming, she has too much make-up caked on her face and, well, she just isn’t doing it for me.

“No, thanks,” I reply. She pouts and leans her face closer to mine. Too close. So I shift back a little. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asks, trailing her finger up my arm.

“No, thanks,” I repeat firmly. “I’m waiting for my girlfriend.” The lie falls from my mouth easily, but it appears to have worked when the waitress pouts and stalks off, approaching another guy who seems a little more interested. I’ve never hung out in a shit hole like this before, but if I wasn’t here, doing only God knows what watching Hayley, I might have flirted back with that waitress. Maybe even let her drag me out back and show me a good time. But that sounds as appealing as shaving a monkey's balls.

Hayley’s blonde friend jumps up and joins some guy on the dance floor, leaving Hayley alone at the bar. Every muscle in my body reacts when another guy approaches her and takes the vacant seat next to her. She shifts, looking uncomfortable. He offers her a drink and even when she declines, he orders it anyway. I know guys like him. They get a girl drunk, take them to a motel and have their way with them. Then, when morning comes, they disappear. I’m not about to let that happen to Hayley.

When an uneventful hour has passed, I’m still in the same seat, only I’ve been drinking water. Hayley and her friend have been sitting at the bar, having a few shots offered by the scumbags around them and sipping on beers. By the way Hayley sways slightly, it’s obvious that she’s had enough to drink. The guy chatting her up stands and offers his hand. Hayley hesitates, looking back at her friend who nods her encouragement. I suddenly don’t like her friend so much. I watch Hayley walk to the dance floor, swaying her hips to the slow beat of a new song. The guy wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, making me grip my chair until I feel my fingers numb. Her arms go around his neck, and I see the look of apprehension on her face. If she’s so uncomfortable then why is she dancing with him?

It’s when he starts grinding into her and she tries to push away that I jump to my feet, walking over to them. I hear her tell him she’d like to go back to the bar but he tightens his grip, making her squirm.

“I think she wants you to let her go now,” I say. Their heads whip up and Hayley looks surprised, while the guy holding her looks annoyed.

“We’re dancing, can’t you see that?” he snaps back. His hands tighten around Hayley’s arms and she winces.

“Well, now I’m cutting in,” I reply, stepping closer. I put my arm around Hayley’s waist from behind and pull her out of fucknut’s grip.

He glowers at me, puffing out his chest, like that’ll intimidate me somehow. Is this twatwaffle for real? I’m at least four inches taller than he is with a whole lot more muscle. I can knock him out quicker than what Mohammed Ali can float like a butterfly.

“Whatever, man, pretty sure she’s not worth all the trouble anyway,” he says, walking away.

I go to grab his shirt, ready to break his jaw, when Hayley’s delicate hand wraps around my forearm. I shouldn’t feel the heat where her hand touches my skin. But I do. I can’t help it.

“Cam,” she looks at me through glazed eyes. “What are you doing here?”

If only I knew.

Our eyes meet and it’s strange how connected I feel to her, standing in the middle of this run-down hole-in-the-wall of a bar.

“I -” My words stop. I don’t want to lie to her, so we just end up staring at each other.

“Cameron?” she presses. “Why are you here? Were you spying on me?”

“Hayley, I - ” My words catch again. She’ll know I’m being dishonest. I rub the back of my neck and look away, allowing that to be my answer. Yes, goddammit, I’m here for you! Because I can’t stand the idea of another fucker's hands on you! You’re not mine, but I feel like you should be, I tell her in my head.

“How did you know I’d be here?” she asks, dipping her head so she can look at me.

“Does it matter?” I throw back as casually as possible. Inside I’m burning up, and my fingers are itching to reach out to her.

“Yes, actually it does.” Her words are firm, full of resolve. Her arms cross over her chest, but she sways a little. My hand shoots out and steadies her by her elbow.

“I think you’ve had enough,” I tell her. “Let me take you home.”

Her face contorts, changing from a look of question to one of anger. “Excuse me?” she snaps. Her voice raises an octave or two.

I lean in closer and lower my voice as to not draw any unnecessary attention to our discussion. “I think it’s time for you to leave, before you do something irresponsible like go home with one of these scumbags.”

Hayley gasps, and I catch a movement at the corner of my eye. Before her palm can make contact with my cheek I grab her wrist.

“How dare you, Cameron! Are you insinuating that I’m a whore?”

“No! No, that’s not what I - ” I start to explain but Hayley spins on her heel and walks away. I follow her, grab her arm and spin her around.

“Hayley, listen to me, that’s not what I meant,” I say.

She glares up at me and I see her eyes glaze over again, but not from alcohol. No. I’ve hurt her feelings and she’s about to cry.

Shit.

“Then what did you mean?” she asks, her voice trembling behind her bravado.

“I just mean that someone in your situation should be more responsible.”

“What do you know about being responsible?” she throws back. “You’re rich, sexy as hell, and I bet you have girls lined up, just begging you to get into their panties for a night. Life is just a peach for Cameron Argent, right? Not a care in the world.”