Kristen Ashley - Play It Safe

Although this was succinct and all the truth, albeit with a bit of opinion thrown in, Gray had heard Casey call me the c-word but he didn’t know Casey had been physical with me. Hearing Peg, his eyes cut to me, took me in and unfortunately I wasn’t wearing one of my long-sleeved henleys but instead a short sleeved tee and he saw the angry, red welts on my arm left by Casey.

Fortunately, Lenny knew Gray. His glance was faster and he had a hand in Gray’s chest by the time Gray’s gaze cut back to Casey, his body leaned forward in preparation for launching another attack and his rage filled the room.

Gene edged closer to help Lenny control the situation and Barry’s arms got tighter so I didn’t do anything stupid.

“Keep your shit, Gray,” Lenny growled, arm up but now his weight was in it.

Gray continued staring at Casey.

“Gray, son, listen to me. Keep… your… shit,” Lenny repeated with variation and additions.

For a scary second, Gray continued staring at my brother then he pulled in a deep, audible breath, his rage saturating the room eased and he took a step back.

Lenny dropped his arm.

Then he looked at Casey. “You thinkin’ clearly enough to hear what the witness said?”

Casey was bleeding from the lip, nose and a cut by the side of his already swelling eye but he was also back in the room and I knew this because he was scowling at Lenny.

He didn’t reply.

“It go down like that?” Lenny asked.

Casey continued scowling.

“It went down like that,” Janie chimed in from behind me.

“Exactly like that,” Gene confirmed.

“Yeah, just like that,” Barry, still holding me in his arms, threw in.

Lenny looked at each of them then back to Casey.

“Now, I can take you in for disturbin’ the peace, assaulting your sister and scrappin’ with Gray. This means I gotta also take Gray in. I’m seein’ you probably like that idea but Gray’s got no priors, he’s got no outstanding warrants, he’s got family local who’ll look out for him and he’s got a certain reputation so a judge will probably not go hard on him. You, I don’t know. You, I figure need to think smart right about now about how you wanna play this. Usually, I don’t mind arresting people. It breaks up my night. Tonight, I’m not feelin’ it. So you lucked out you play it smart and get your ass outta this bar. But my kindness comes with conditions. When I say get your ass outta this bar, I mean get your ass outta my town and while you’re at it, outta my county. You feel like communicatin’ with your sister who clearly has the urge to share her pretty face with the folk of Mustang for a spell, you send a greeting card. Are you reading me, son?”

Casey glared at Lenny then he shifted his glare to me.

Then he whispered, “I gave it all for you.”

That went in like the plunge of a blade but not for the reasons it used to.

And because of that, I returned, “And then I started giving it all for you. Difference is, I was twelve, Casey. I had no one else and I needed you. When I started giving, you were twenty and you just took it from me.”

My brother had it in him to wince before he kept at me.

“You’re all I’ve got.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but you aren’t all I have. Not anymore,” I replied quietly.

On my last word, Barry’s arms moved from around me and Gray’s arms took their place.

Casey’s eyes went up over my left shoulder then his face twisted and they came back to me.

“Did what I did because I loved you, sis.”

I knew that. Way back when, I knew it. Casey was everything to me and I was everything to him. Before we ran, we had a Mom who was less than nothing and we had a lot of troubles and a whole lot of nothing else.

All we had was each other.

But now that had changed.

“Then keep loving me and let me keep what I found,” I whispered.

I watched him swallow.

Gray’s arms got tight.

My eyes filled with tears.

Without another word, looking down to his feet, my brother turned away and walked out of the bar.

I knew he had no money, no skills, nothing.

I had no idea where he’d go, what he’d do, how he’d get there and how much trouble he’d catch when he landed wherever he landed.

And it killed me.

But one thing my brother Casey taught me was to look out for myself.

So the tears slid silently out of my eyes, down my cheeks and Gray turned me in his arms to face him. My arms closed around him, I shoved my face in his chest and I concentrated on that rather than running after my brother and giving him all of my money just to keep him safe for a little while.

Instead, for the first time since I was fifteen, I didn’t look out for my brother.

I cried in Gray’s arms and looked out for me.

“Dollface, know you’re awake.”

I blinked at the pillow, sighed and turned to face Gray.

He looked beautiful in the sunlight, in the moonlight, in the lights of the bar, in the light thrown from a TV.

But he never looked more beautiful than in the morning with his head on a pillow beside me.

“Hi,” I whispered, sliding my hands up his chest and his lips curved up.

“Hi,” he whispered back, his arm not around my shoving under me so both of them could gather me close.

He dipped his chin, I tipped my head back and he brushed his mouth on mine.

Then his hair slid across the pillow as he pulled slightly away but gathered me even closer.

“You doin’ okay?” he asked, his blue eyes studying me.

“No,” I answered honestly.

“You’ll get there,” he muttered.

I would. It would take some time but I would. And it would hurt but I would still get there.

“He’s a man,” Gray went on. “It’s time he acted like one, baby. Took care of his own shit. You still haven’t shared and I told you I’d wait, I’ll wait. But I know this, what you were doin’, and I get the impression you been doin’ it awhile, it is wild-ass luck you two made it this far without some kinda tragedy. And he’s a man. Those tragedies he could face are a far sight fewer and a far sight easier to move on from than what a woman could take. He put you out there. You. A miracle you didn’t get chewed up. You didn’t. Hold onto that. Hold onto the decent you carved out for yourself and let go of the shit.”

“He’s all I had for a long time, Gray,” I whispered.

“Yeah. And what you said last night is true. He’s not all you have anymore, Ivey. You’re with people who give a shit about you now.” When I opened my mouth to speak, his arms gave me a squeeze and he went on. “I mean give a shit about you in a healthy way not some fucked up, dysfunctional way borne of whatever-the-fuck you two had goin’ was borne of. I get that you love him. I get he’s your brother. I get that you worry about him. But he shoulda sorted his shit and yours a long time ago and I also get that this has come to you. Don’t let guilt and worry fog that, darlin’. You’re on the right path. Don’t allow him to veer you away.”

I held his eyes then, nodding, I dipped my chin and pressed my face to his throat.

Gray tilted his head back and sifted his fingers in my hair. Then he kept doing it.

I let him because I liked it, it was soothing and after he did this for awhile, I asked his throat, “You know what I wish?”

“I can guess, dollface, but tell me anyway.”

“I wish I’d met your Dad because I would like to have had the chance to meet the man who made a man like you.”

His hand stopped and his body went completely still.

My head tipped back and his tipped down and I saw instantly he didn’t guess correctly. His eyes held surprise and something else, something I’d never seen on him or anyone.

But whatever it was, it made the area around my heart get warm.

“Gray?” I called when he didn’t say anything.

“You still fallin’ in love with me?”

I stared, my cheeks now getting warm and opened my mouth to answer affirmative when he went on.

“’Cause you should know, baby, I’m already gone for you.”

My mouth stayed open only because at that point it was hanging open.

Then I snapped it closed and asked, “You love me?”

“Yeah,” Gray answered.

“You love me,” I stated but it was still a question.

Gray grinned, dimple and all and he repeated, “Yeah.”

Tears filled my eyes and I whispered it again, “You love me.”

Gray’s grin faded, he rolled me so I was on my back and he was mostly on me. His face got really close and he whispered back, “Yeah.”

I stared into his blue eyes with their russet tipped lashes and shared quietly, “I fell for you after you first kissed me.”

And quietly back from Gray I got, “I win since I fell for you that night at my kitchen table when you blew on me.”

Oh God.

When I blew on him.

Oh God!

He went blurry as tears filled my eyes.

“Say you love me, Ivey,” he ordered.

“I love you, Gray,” I did as ordered.

“Good, baby, because I love you too,” he whispered.

Then, finally, he kissed me.

Then he made love to me, he did it slow, it was sweet, it was beautiful and if I had any questions that I was on the wrong path, which I did not, then I wouldn’t anymore.

I’d driven all over the country and back again probably eight times.

But finally, I was going in the right direction.

Six weeks and a day later…