quarterback of house slippers. Kalen mouthed off once about

having to take a bath, and Mom hit her from across the den. That

was the closest thing to spankings we ever got.

I suppose all those years of watching mom wield a slipper

made an impression. Before I knew what I was doing, I had

pulled off my flip-flop and bitch-slapped the goose. I learned at

that moment that I’d made a declaration of war. That winged devil

leapt on me like a cat. I was swinging, the goose was hissing, and

wine and fruit went everywhere. If it hadn’t been for Fuzzy, I was

fairly certain I would’ve died right there.

Fuzzy jumped into the melee and chased the goose back

to the water. I sat stunned and whelped. “What the hell just

happened?”

Hailey’s face was blood red. “Are you okay?” Her voice was

barely above a whisper. “I wish I could’ve gotten that on film.”

She laughed for about a half hour.

“Come on, Shannon, they’re sweet. Look at their little bills.

They’re rounded, no pecking.” Hailey stood at the water’s edge

that teemed with ducks. Some took the bread right out of her

hand, others gobbled up whatever hit the water.

“I don’t think so.” Fuzzy and I stood back at a safe distance

watching for geese.

“Baby, look.” Hailey pointed to a mother duck warily

approaching with a string of ducklings trailing behind. Her face

colored as she looked back at me. “I mean, don’t be a baby, come

here.”

1

Pitifully Ugly

Her slip got to me, and I moved alongside her. She stuck a

piece of bread in my hand and instructed me to tear it apart. The

mother duck was keeping her babies at a distance but looking

hopeful, so I tossed a few pieces her way. Hailey wasn’t pleased

with my long-distance feeding style and insisted that I hand off a

smidgeon or two.

“They are gentle, aren’t they?” I said as one snapped a piece

from my fingers.

Hailey nodded and smiled. “Excitable, but sweet. They’re

nothing like a goose.”

And totally disloyal. The minute the bread was gone, so were

the ducks. Hailey looped her arm around mine as we walked back

to the blanket. “I’m so proud of you. I think you’re ready to go to

the Global Wildlife Center next. I’ve been reading about it, and

it’s not far from here. Maybe we’ll have another nice weekend

soon and can check it out.”

I’d seen the commercials. They stuff you in a wagon and drag

you through a field of wild animals that know you have feed for

them. I couldn’t think of anything more horrifying, especially

after my encounter with the goose. “Sure, sweetie, that sounds

like fun.”

Hailey seemed surprised by the term of endearment, but she

didn’t release my arm. A shy smile crept across her face. I was

tempted to press my luck with her and ask if she’d changed her

mind about being just friends when my cell phone rang. No one

but Kalen and Marvin called me, so I pulled it out of my pocket

and answered without looking at the ID.

“Marci, hi, how are you?” I blurted out, surprised to hear her

voice. I closed my eyes when Hailey’s arm slipped from mine.

“I just wanted to call and see how you were doing and to let

you know we’re having a pet adoption day. I was thinking you

might be interested in having a pet. I can give you the address to

the clinic if you think you’ll come.”

“Umm, actually, I’m sharing a dog with my neighbor right

now.” Hailey moved away, but I knew she could probably hear

what I was saying. “I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of

commitment.”

1

Robin Alexander

“Well, if you change your mind, it’s next Saturday from eleven

to four.” Marci was talking really fast like she was nervous, and

that made me nervous because I didn’t know if the pet adoption

was the only reason for the call. “So how are things working out

for you?”

“Fine. I just got over a nasty case of strep, but otherwise,

everything is good. And you?”

“Oh, I’m good. Been working a lot.” There was an awkward

pause. “If you find that you’re interested in going out again, give

me a call.”

“Okay, I will. It was nice hearing from you.” I felt bad as we

ended the call. I was fairly certain that Marci knew I wasn’t going

to call, and Hailey had walked away, putting distance between us

in more ways than one.

“Are you and Marci seeing each other again?” Hailey asked

lightly. She didn’t turn my way as she threw the ball for Fuzzy.

“No, she called to tell me about a pet adoption day at her

clinic. I guess she figured since I didn’t have a pet that I might

want one.” I laughed. “I told her I was sharing a dog.” Apparently,

I was the only one who got the joke.

Hailey gave me a sideways glance. “It’s getting kinda cool.

Are you ready to call it a day?”

She was right. The late afternoon breeze was getting cooler,

and the air between us was becoming more frigid by the second.

We didn’t talk much as we gathered everything and hiked back

to the car. I took that as a good sign. Hailey was obviously put

off by Marci’s call. For someone who wanted to be just friends,

she appeared a mite jealous to me. This was a moment that I

could’ve seized upon and might’ve gotten Hailey to admit she

wanted more, but…I was too chicken. As bad as I wanted her, to

be rejected again would’ve been just too damn much.

“Wanna pick up something for dinner?” I asked as we headed

home.

“I’ll take a rain check on that if you don’t mind.” Hailey’s

face was turned toward the window when she answered. “I’ve

got some work to do, and I don’t want to spend my entire Sunday

with a laptop.”

10

Pitifully Ugly

“No problem.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but this turn of

events was grating my nerves. I was aggravated with her attitude

and just plain pissed at myself for being too afraid to confront

her.

11

Robin Alexander

Chapter 27

Apparently, I’m a weenie.

Kalen and I had gone almost two weeks without seeing each

other due to my illness and her morning sickness. She called me

on a Monday and invited me to lunch, but I wasn’t in the mood.

I met her at the salon on Rampart after she threatened to “skull

drag” me out of my apartment.

My normally vibrant sister looked bloated and tired when she

greeted me. After she hugged me, she leaned heavily against the

counter. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“You’re having twins,” I teased.

“God, no, one baby is draining me enough,” Kalen said with

a tired smile. “Someone wants to see you.”

I felt hands on my shoulders and turned to see my mom

grinning from ear to ear. “Surprise,” she said as she hugged me

tight.

“When did you get in?” I asked.

“Late last night. Your father is doing well, and I wanted to be

with my girls.” She cupped my cheeks in her hands and kissed me

on the nose before pulling me in for another hug.

“I’m so glad to see you. I’ve missed you so much.” I hugged

her back.

“That is just so freaking sweet.” We both turned and looked

at Kalen, who had tears streaming down her face. She blew her

nose and looked at Mom and me. “I’m very emotional right now,”

she said with a shrug. “Somebody needs to feed me or I’m gonna

pass out.”

12

Pitifully Ugly

Mom took us to her favorite New Orleans haunt, Maspero’s.

In her mind, a shrimp po’boy could mend anything, including

morning sickness that in Kalen’s case lasted all day. I’d eaten half

of my sandwich when I felt uncomfortably full. Kalen ate all of

hers and took care of my leftovers.

Kalen burped and blushed. “Sorry, the baby made me do it.”

“You were a pig before you picked up a passenger,” I teased.

Kalen shook her head. “I have no control over myself anymore.

The other day, I folded a load of laundry and promptly threw up

in the basket. Then I cried because I ruined the laundry.”

Mom patted Kalen’s arm. “I suffered with nausea most of

the time when I was pregnant with you. Sucking on peppermints

always helped.”

“And you did it twice?” I said. “I would’ve given up after the

first baby.”

“I’m glad she didn’t.” Kalen reached over and clutched my

hand. “I couldn’t imagine life without you.”

“What has gotten into you?” I asked Kalen with mock

disgust. “You’ve gotten all affectionate and…warm and fuzzy.

It’s gross.”

“I know, it’s weird. I’m all cuddly when it comes to you, but

I want to strangle Todd.”

“That’s because your baby sister is your comfort zone,” Mom

said. That sort of stunned me. Kalen had always been my comfort.

It felt strange to have the roles reversed.

Mom reached over and put her hand on mine while Kalen