Angela had turned and begun talking to someone else. She

didn’t see Marvin usher me from the room. He held me by my

lapel and slapped at the elevator buttons. As the doors opened, he

shoved me inside. “Are you drunk?” he asked, looking horrified.

“No, I only had two Stanky Marys.”

Before we could get to the twenty-first floor, the elevator

stopped and a woman got on. She looked at me and smiled.

“Hey,” I said and liked the way it came out in a growl.

Marvin moved between us and began fussing with my face.

“Your lipstick is smeared, honey,” he said cheerfully, but his eyes

were huge. He held a finger to his lips.

“Are you shushing me?” I asked with a grin.

When we got back to our suite, he ran around the room for

a minute cussing and screaming. I just stood there giggling. He

was so funny.

He picked up his cell phone, then threw it down, picked it

up, and threw it again. “Okay, we need coffee.” He went to the

bar and pulled out the pot. I watched as he put two pre-measured

packets in the strainer. “Shannon, your pupils are huge. Are you

sure you only had two drinks?”

I held up four fingers. “Yep, only two. And I took one of

Kalen’s pills.”

Marvin stopped what he was doing and walked over to where

I was kind of standing. “What pills?”

“She gave me those pills with the little V carved in them.”

Marvin pulled me over to the couch and sat me down. He

went to the coffeepot and poured me a cup. “Have you ever taken

Valium before?” he asked when he returned.

“Yep, that’s what they’re called. And no, I’ve never taken one

before. I tell you what, though, I’m gonna take ’em all the time

now because I feel good! Let’s go downstairs, I’m ready!”

Marvin looked at his watch and whimpered. “Drink this,”

he said as he shoved the coffee cup into my hands. “Do you

remember any of the speech?”

14

Pitifully Ugly

I took a sip of the coffee; it tasted like burned oil. “I want

another Stanky Mary.” I shoved the cup back into his hands.

“Shannon, focus. Do you remember the speech?”

I cleared my throat and sat up straight. “Hello, motherfuckers,

it’s a pleasure to be with all of you fur jockeys tonight.”

“Oh, my God,” Marvin screamed and pulled at his carefully

coiffed hair. “Give me the speech, Shannon.”

“Hey,” I said smoothly as I pointed at my head. “It’s all in

here, no need to worry. You need a Stanky Mary.”

Marvin sank down onto his knees and looked at me

beseechingly. “You cannot rewrite Kalen’s speech. You cannot

call these people motherfuckers. Now, Shannon, please,” he said

as he took my hands into his. “Where is the speech?”

“I don’t know.”

Marvin jumped up and ran into my room. I could hear him

throwing things around. He ran back into the sitting area and

searched around the bar, then buried his face in his hands.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It’s an honor to be

among you tonight…”

“Yes! Yes, that’s it.” Marvin crossed the room and knelt in

front of me again. “Drink more of this.” He handed the coffee to

me, and I did as he asked because he was so damn funny with his

hair sticking out on all sides.

I had to pee three times before we left the room. Marvin

insisted that I drink every bit of the coffee he’d made. Though it

wasn’t a Stanky Mary, I still felt pretty damn good. As we rode

down in the elevator, I stood leaning against the wall calm as a

cucumber. Marvin stood in the corner praying aloud.

“Where have you been?” Angela asked when we met in the

hall. “Wardrobe malfunction.” Marvin smoothed his hair.

Angela fussed with my collar. “You’re on as soon as this

speaker wraps up. He’ll introduce you.”

“Your lips are the sweetest I’ve ever tasted,” I said, looking

her in the eye.

She moved closer, and for a second, I thought she was going

to kiss me. I puckered up.

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Robin Alexander

Angela’s eyes narrowed as she looked into mine. “Her pupils

are the size of baseballs. What the—”

“Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome—”

“That’s me.” I pulled away from Angela’s grasp. Her voice

was shrill and Marvin’s was even higher as they argued. I just

kept on walking.

Angela, Marvin, and I sat around the sitting area of our suite.

Angela held an ice pack to her head. Marvin was drinking gin

straight from the bottle.

“Well, she did it,” Marvin said with a spacey gaze.

Angela groaned. “It could’ve been worse. We could have

done without the laughing and pointing, though.”

They talked as though I weren’t in the room. Frankly, I wasn’t.

I was floating on a cloud of serenity.

“You have to admit she had the room laughing right along

with her. The rest of the speakers were duds.” Marvin took

another healthy swig.

Images of Hailey undressing me and putting me to bed

flashed through my mind. I reached for her, but she pushed my

hands away. “Drink this,” I heard her say as something cool was

pressed to my lips. Her voice didn’t sound the same.

“You’re always pushing me away,” I said, reaching for her

again.

“Go to sleep.” I felt her pushing me down onto the bed.

“Please stay,” I said. “I just want to be with you.” The words

seemed heavy as they left my lips. The bed was pulling me in

deeper.

I felt a hand softly stroke my brow and words whispered. “I

will.”

1

Pitifully Ugly

Chapter 21

Homecoming of uncertainty.

I awoke the next morning alone with the gnawing feeling that

I’d forgotten something. My mouth tasted like I had been licking

a car tire. After brushing my teeth twice, I wandered into the

sitting area. Marvin was asleep on the sofa with an empty gin

bottle clutched in both hands.

“Hey.” I gave him a nudge, and he opened one eye and looked

at me.

“What day is it?” he rasped.

“I have no idea.”

He looked at his watch and cursed. “We’ve missed our flight.”

“It’s Monday then.” I took a seat on one of the chairs.

“Do me a favor, please.” Marvin sat up and rubbed his head.

“Call for room service and I’ll call the airline.”

I did as he asked and ordered lots of coffee to go along with

breakfast. I was about to take a quick shower when I heard a

knock on the door. Through the peep hole, I could see Angela

standing in the hall. Her hair was down and slightly damp. She

looked comfortable in a pair of jeans and an untucked button-

down shirt. She was also wearing a huge smile. I wrapped my

robe tighter around my body and let her in.

“Good morning,” she said as she planted a kiss on my cheek

and walked past me. “I was afraid I would miss you.”

“We missed our flight or you probably would’ve.” I gestured

for her to take a seat.

“You feeling okay?” Angela asked.

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Robin Alexander

“I’m a little unclear on last night…parts of it fade in and out.”

“You put on one hell of a show. Everybody is talking about

your speech.” Angela smiled up at Marvin as he walked back into

the room. “Mr. Mays says he enjoyed your speech above everyone

else’s. He was very pleased to hear how highly you touted our

products and service. I think my job is pretty secure.”

“I hope mine still is.” Marvin elbowed me in the ribs.

“I called Kalen first thing this morning.” Angela wrinkled

her nose. “She’s thrilled. I left out a few parts, though.”

“Thank you,” Marvin and I said in unison.

“I must really thank you both. I know the past few days have

been hell.” Angela focused on me for a moment. “It wasn’t fair of

me to put so much pressure on you. I was so nervous after the last

set of meetings when a few of my fellow reps were laid off that I

got a bit self-centered.”

“You’ve been good to us, Angela. I’m glad we were able

to help you out. Although…I wish one of you would fill me in

on what I did. I remember everything until I walked up to the

podium. I think I blocked it all out.” I looked over at Marvin, then

at Angela. They were both grinning.

Marvin held up a hand and started counting off each incident.

“You drooled, accosted a woman in the elevator, and made up

your own speech that nearly made me wet myself.” He cuffed

me on the shoulder. “But when it came time to deliver, you did

it…perfectly, minus the giggling.”

“I giggled through the speech?”

Marvin and Angela nodded. “It added some levity to an

otherwise dull evening.” Angela glanced down at her watch. “I

need to go help with the packing up.” She gave Marvin a hug, and

I walked her to the door. She turned and looked at me before she

stepped into the hallway. “You’re a great kisser, and that’s a lot

coming from a straight woman.”