“Stop it,” she told herself.

She could go on for hours with “what-ifs” and it would solve absolutely nothing. She was leaving. She had accepted that. So had Annie, despite her tears.

She was leaving.



Chapter Forty

Annie wiped at her tears, standing in the driveway long after Jordan’s SUV had faded from view. She’d told herself she would not cry. At least, not in front of Jordan. But she felt like her heart was breaking, and she let her tears flow at will now.

“It’ll be okay,” Jordan had whispered.

“No. No, it won’t be.”

“I’m a phone call away.”

Another hug…another desperate kiss…and Jordan was gone.

She looked down the lonely driveway. Yes, Jordan was gone. Oh, she promised she’d be back and Annie believed her. Didn’t she?

Yes, of course she did. They’d made love with such abandon last night, as if Jordan was trying to imprint her touch on Annie’s body. Jordan had loved her so thoroughly that Annie had been in a state of pure bliss by the time they had finally given in to sleep.

Being with Jordan was so different than Derrick, than Matt. Jordan was soft where they were hard. Jordan was slow where they were quick. Jordan was gentle where they were rough. And even though it could be slow and gentle, that didn’t mean it wasn’t intense and passionate too. It was.

So, yes, surely Jordan was coming back.

Annie felt a small smile tugging at her lips. She remembered Jordan kissing her belly—kissing the baby—telling him that she’d be back soon. Real soon.

But what was soon? A couple of weeks? A month? Two or three months? Her smile faded at that thought. Could she make it for two or three months without her? Again, that nagging thought that Jordan would disappear—that she would stay away like she used to do—was lingering in her mind.

“I love her.”

Then why didn’t you tell her?

Because she was afraid to, that’s why. And without Jordan here, it almost seemed like a dream—this crazy, crazy summer. A glorious, delicious dream…but still only a dream. Did she really get pregnant? Did she really fall in love with a woman?

Yes and yes.

She took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. Yes and yes. She wiped her cheeks dry and turned, heading back inside the house. Her house now. Her lonely, empty house.

At least she had Fat Larry’s. She had inventory and ordering to do this morning. Then she had two classes this afternoon. The day would pass by quickly, she hoped.

And instead of coming home to an empty house and a solitary dinner, she’d already made plans with Suzanne. Britney was going to stay with her grandmother, so they’d have the house to themselves. They were going to pick up Chinese food and watch a movie and catch up. Things would get back to normal.

Whatever normal was.

* * *

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Suzanne said as they cleaned up after dinner. “Is everything okay?”

Annie forced a smile. “Yes, of course.”

Suzanne studied her. “I saw you last week and you were absolutely beaming. Today…not so much.”

“Well, the fall semester started. I’m driving to Corpus three days a week now.” Annie shrugged. “And still working at Fat Larry’s as much as I can.”

“So you and Brandon are really running things? How’s that going to work out?”

“It’ll be good. Brandon has grown up so much this summer. I think he likes the responsibility that Jordan has given him.”

“Is she going to come back at all?”

“Yes. She says…yes.”

Annie turned away. Could they talk about something other than Jordan and whether she would return to Rockport or not? Annie was feeling insecure enough as it was. She didn’t need Suzanne putting more doubts in her mind.

Suzanne touched her arm. “What’s going on, Annie?” she asked gently.

Annie bit her lip. “What do you mean?”

“You look like you’re about to cry.”

Annie closed her eyes for a moment. Oh, crap.

“Annie, what is it? Is everything okay with the baby?”

Annie touched her belly. “Yes, everything is fine with the baby. I’m getting huge.”

Suzanne smiled. “You are not. Give it a couple more months before you say that.”

“I know. I still have over four months to go.”

“So what’s wrong?”

Annie gave her a weak smile. “I’m…lonely.”

“Lonely?”

Oh, hell. “I miss her.” Annie looked at Suzanne. “She’s only been gone one day and…and I miss her like crazy.”

Suzanne frowned. “Jordan? Well, I guess you got used to having a roommate.”

Annie hid her smile. “Yes. Something like that.” She grabbed Suzanne’s forearms and squeezed. “Listen, promise me you won’t freak out.”

“What are you talking about?”

God, this was probably a mistake but Annie so wanted to tell Suzanne what was going on in her life. She wanted to share that with Suzanne…with someone.

“Just promise me you won’t freak out,” she said as she released Suzanne’s arms.

Suzanne nodded. “Okay, I won’t freak out. But you’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?”

Annie took a deep breath. “Jordan and I…well…this summer…” She scratched the side of her neck nervously. “We’re kinda…involved. Sexually.”

Suzanne literally shrieked, then covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide with shock.

“Oh. My. God. You’re having sex with her?”

Annie nodded. Okay, so maybe telling her wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“Oh…my God. What did she do to you? Did she force you?”

“Of course not.”

Suzanne stared at her. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe it. She’s a…a lesbian.”

Annie nodded. “Yeah. That’s kinda the reason.”

“Oh, my God,” she said once again. She shook her head quickly from side to side. “You have lost your freakin’ mind.”

Annie held a hand up. “You promised you wouldn’t freak out.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know this was what you were going to tell me.” She shook her head. “How did this happen? I mean, I can’t believe it. I just absolutely cannot believe it.”

“Why can’t you believe it? After everything I’ve told you about Derrick, about me not being interested in anybody, about how…bad it was when I slept with Matt. Why can’t you believe it?”

“Yeah…but a woman?”

Annie went closer, taking her hands and squeezing. “Remember when you came over to the house that day we had the office party? And you caught me staring down at the pier? You thought I was staring at Brandon.” Annie shook her head. “It wasn’t Brandon I was staring at.”

Suzanne’s shoulders sank. “Oh, my God,” she whispered.

“I’m in love with her.”

Suzanne shrieked again. “In love? With a woman?”

“Yes. Crazy in love.”

Suzanne sank down into a chair at the breakfast bar, her head shaking slowly, back and forth. “In love?”

“Crazy in love,” she said again. “I’m…happy, Suzanne. She makes me happy.” Annie sat down next to her. “Remember that day we had lunch, when I asked you if you were happy being married? I told you I had never been. That’s the truth. Living…being with Derrick, never made me happy. He tried…I tried, but I was never happy.” She took Suzanne’s hand once again and squeezed it. “Living with Jordan, being involved with her like I am, makes me so very, very happy. I won’t blame you if you can’t understand how I feel, Suzanne. But please, I just want you to be happy for me.”

“I know. I know. It’s just…I never expected this.”

Annie tilted her head. “Didn’t you? Surely you could see how close we were getting.”

“Yeah. I thought, well, that you needed a friend is all.”

Annie nodded. “I did. And she became a very good friend. But we were closer than that. I think from the moment we met, we were closer than that.”

Suzanne ran a hand through her hair. “If you think Derrick flipped out over you being pregnant, this will send him over the edge.”

Annie shook her head. “Hello? Divorced, remember?”

Suzanne smiled. “Hello? Derrick, crazy man, remember?”

Annie laughed. “I know it will be a shock to him, but I don’t think he’ll go crazy over it. I told you we had a good talk. He knows it’s over with us.”

“A small town like this,” Suzanne said. “When people find out his ex-wife is now suddenly gay…” She paused. “That’s what this is, right? Or is this just a phase or something?”

“It’s not a phase, Suzanne.”

“So you’re…gay now? Or do you call it bi?”

“I don’t call it anything. I call it being in love with Jordan.”



Chapter Forty-One

Jordan stared out the window, surprised at how claustrophobic she felt surrounded by high-rises in every direction. She tugged at the collar of her blouse, then shrugged out of her jacket and casually tossed it over the back of her office chair. She never thought she’d miss wearing shorts and Fat Larry T-shirts to work, but she did.

She again turned her gaze out the window, slowly shaking her head.

What the hell are you doing here?

Four days back, and she had a terrible ache in her heart. She was back in her old routine, she just never realized how empty it had been. There was a void in her life now, without Annie around. How had she lived so long without her? How had she lived so long without love?

“The New York office called,” Peter said as he walked into her office. “Said you did a great job negotiating on the Dunbar contract.”

Jordan turned from the window and shrugged. “Good.”

“Good? That’s it? You know they’ve wanted to move you there for some time now.”

“Not going to happen,” she said as she moved back to her desk.