"I had much better things to do," she replied, then retreated to her room quickly.

About half an hour later, Mrs. Ironwood did arrive, escorted by Mrs. Penny and Deborah Peck, who carried a clipboard and took down whatever notes and demerits Mrs. Ironwood imposed. The inspection began in Jacki and Kate's room and then went to Gisselle's. I expected to hear complaints, but Mrs. Ironwood emerged with a look of satisfaction on her face. She stepped into my doorway and gazed around the room.

"Good afternoon, girls," she said to Samantha and me. Samantha looked terrified, and she uttered a reply that was barely audible. Mrs. Ironwood went to one of the dressers and ran her fingers over the top. She looked at her fingers.

"Very nice," she said. "I'm glad you keep your rooms clean and consider them your home." She opened the closet door and peered in at our clothing, nodded, and then looked at my dresser. She stepped up to it and pulled open the top drawer, gazing in and nodding. "Well organized," she said. Samantha smiled at me. Then Mrs. Ironwood reached down and pulled open the third drawer. She stood there staring down for a moment and then turned to me.

"This is your dresser?"

"Yes," I said. She nodded, turned back to the drawer, reached in, and pulled out a pint bottle of rum. "Couldn't you hide this a little better?" she asked sarcastically.

My mouth dropped. I looked at Mrs. Penny, who gaped at me with surprise and disappointment. Deborah Peck had a faint smile on her lips.

"That's not mine."

"You just said this was your dresser. Other people put their things, in your dresser?"

"No, but . . ."

"Then this is yours," she said. She handed it to Mrs. Penny. "Dispose of this," she ordered. To Deborah she said, "Ten demerits." She glared at me. "Your punishment will be decided, and you will be told before the end of the day. Until then, you are confined to this room."

She turned and marched out. Mrs. Penny held the bottle in her hand as gingerly as she could, treating it like poison. She shook her head at me.

"I'm so ashamed of you, Ruby."

"It's not mine, Mrs. Penny."

"So ashamed," she repeated, then followed Mrs. Ironwood and Deborah out. As soon as they were gone, all the girls from the quad rushed to our door.

"What did she find?" Jacki asked.

"I'm sure you all know," I said dryly.

"Know what?" Gisselle asked, coming from behind.

"About the rum you put in my drawer."

"See? There she goes again. My fault. I'm not the only one here, Ruby. And other girls from other quads could have gotten into your room. You're not the most popular girl on campus. Maybe someone's jealous of you."

"Someone?" I said, smiling.

"Or maybe," she said, her hands on her hips, "that was your bottle."

I laughed and shook my head.

"I wonder what she'll do to you," Samantha said.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care," I told her, and I meant it. I didn't.

Just before dinner Mrs. Penny arrived to inform me that I was to spend the evening scrubbing all the bathrooms at the school. The head custodian would be waiting with soap and water and a brush. I was to do it every Saturday night after dinner for a month.

I accepted my punishment with a quiet resignation that annoyed Gisselle and both surprised and impressed the other girls. They never heard a complaint from me, even when it meant I wouldn't be able to attend movies or go to a dance. I knew the head custodian, Mr. Hull, felt sorry for me, and he even began to do some of my work and have some of it completed before I arrived.

"These bathrooms never looked so good come Monday morning," he told me.

He was right. Once I realized I couldn't get out of the penalty without causing even more of a problem, I decided to attack it with enthusiasm. It made it bearable. I took out stains that were seemingly embedded, and I got the mirrors so shiny that there wasn't the smallest smudge on the glass. On my third Saturday, however, I found that someone had stuffed the toilets in one of the bathrooms and flushed and flushed so the water would run over the floors. It was a disgusting mess and Mr. Hull came in to assist me, mopping up first. Even so, the stench got to me, and I had to get some fresh air to stop from throwing up my supper.

Two days later, I woke up very nauseous and had to run into the bathroom to throw up. I thought I had a terrible stomach virus or had been poisoned by the cleaning fluids I had to dip my hands into to clean the bathrooms properly. When the nausea came over me again that afternoon, I asked to be excused from class and went to the school infirmary.

Mrs. Miller, our school nurse, sat me down and asked me to describe all my symptoms. She looked very concerned.

"I've been more tired than usual," I admitted when she inquired about my energy.

"Have you noticed yourself going to the bathroom more frequently to urinate?"

I thought a moment. "Yes," I said. "I have."

She nodded. "What else?"

"I get dizzy once in a while, just be walking along and things start to spin on me."

"I see. I assume you keep track of your period," she said, "and at least have an approximate idea of when it should arrive."

My heart stopped.

"You've missed one?" she asked quickly when she saw the look on my face.

"Yes, but . . . that's happened to me occasionally before."

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately and noticed any changes in your body, especially your breasts?" she asked.

I had noticed tiny new blood vessels, but I told her I thought that was because I was still developing. She shook her head.

"You're about as developed as you're going to be," she said. "I'm afraid it sounds like you're pregnant, Ruby," she declared. "Only you know if that's a possibility. Is it?"

I felt as if she had dowsed me with a pail of ice water. For a moment my whole body became numb, and the muscles in my face wouldn't work. I couldn't reply. I didn't think my heart was even beating. It was as if I had turned to stone right before her eyes. "Ruby?" she asked again.

And I just started to cry.

"Oh dear," she said. "You poor dear."

She put her arm around me and led me to one of the cots. She told me to lie down and rest. I remember that as I lay there burying myself with a mountain of self-pity, hating Fate, cursing Destiny, I wondered why love was made to be so wonderful if it could put me in such a state of affairs. It seemed like a cruel joke had been played on me, but of course, I had no one to blame but myself. I didn't even blame Beau, knowing somehow that I had had the power to say no, to turn him away, but had chosen not to do so.

A little while later, after my crying had subsided, Mrs. Miller pulled up a chair beside me and sat down.

"We'll have to inform your family," she said. "This is a very personal problem, and you and your family will have to make some important decisions."

"Please," I said, seizing her hand, "don't tell anyone."

"I won't tell anyone but your family and, of course, Mrs. Ironwood."

"No, please. I don't want anyone to know just yet."

"I can't do that. It's too much of a responsibility, dear. Surely after the initial shock, your family will give you support, and you and your family will make the right decisions."

"Decisions?" There seemed to be only one decision—suicide, or at least running away.

"Whether to have the baby, to have an abortion, to inform the father . . . decisions. So you see, there's too much responsibility for us to keep it a secret. Others have to know. If we didn't tell them, we would be remiss. I would be irresponsible and certainly held to account. The least that would happen is I would be fired."

"Oh, I don't want that, Mrs. Miller. I'm already responsible for one person losing her job here. I don't want another person on my conscience. Of course, do what you have to do and don't worry about me," I said.

"Now, now, dear. We'll still worry about you. Other girls have been in this predicament, you know. It's not the end of the world, although it might seem so to you right now." She smiled. "You'll be all right," she promised, patting my hand. "Just rest. do what has to be done and do it discreetly."

She left and I lay there, hoping the ceiling would fall in on me and cursing the day I had decided to leave the bayou.

Nearly an hour later, Mrs. Ironwood arrived with Mrs. Miller to inform me that Daphne was sending the limousine for me. I could se the glint of self-satisfaction in her eyes as she spoke.

"Get yourself together and go back to the dorm. Pack your things, all your things. You won't be coming back to Greenwood," she commanded.

"At least there's one good thing to come of this," I said.

She turned bright crimson and hoisted her shoulders. "I'm not surprised. It was only a matter of time before you destroyed yourself. Your sort always does," she snapped, then left before I could reply.

I didn't care anymore anyway. Ironically, Gisselle had been right: Greenwood was a horrible place as long as that woman ran and administered it. I left the building and returned to the dorm to complete my packing. I had most of it done by midday, when Gisselle came running over during the lunch hour. She burst into the quad screaming my name. When she saw my suitcases packed, my closet and dresser drawers emptied, her mouth dropped.

"What's going on?" she demanded, and I told her. For once, she was speechless. She sat on my bed.

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? I'm going home. The limousine should be here shortly."

"But that's not fair. I'll be left here all alone."