“You think so?”

“I know so. You’ll make it. But we all know it’s a rough road.” As he watched her, he was once again stunned by all that he’d heard. The secrets from the depths of her soul, the confessions about her family and the insane theories about tradition and treason. It was all more than a little new to him, but intriguing nonetheless. She was the product of a strange and different world, yet a hybrid in her own way. “Where do you think that road to freedom is going to take you, by the way—to SoHo?” He wanted to know, but she laughed at him.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I have a pleasant time down there, but that’s not the real thing. Even I know that. It just helps get me through the rest of the bullshit. You know, the only thing that isn’t bullshit is K. S. Miller.”

“That’s a byline, not a human being. You’re the human being, Kezia. I think that’s what you forget. Maybe on purpose.”

“Maybe I’ve had to. Just look at my life, Luke. It’s nowhere, and the games are getting harder and harder to play. It’s all one big long game. The game of the parties, the committees, the balls and the bullshit, the game of ‘artist’s old lady in SoHo,’ the game of the gossip column. It’s all a game. And I’m tired of living in a world that’s so limited it can only bring itself to include about eight hundred people. And I don’t fit in a scene like SoHo.”

“Why? Not your class?”

“No. Just not my world.”

“Then stop poaching on other people’s worlds. Make your own. A crazy one, a good one, a bad one, whatever you want, just make it one that suits you, for a change. You make the rules. Be quiet about it if you think you have to, but at least try to respect your own trip. Don’t sell out, Kezia. You’re too smart for that. I think you realize yourself that you’ve gotten to a point where you’re going to have to make some choices.”

“I know that. I think that’s why I had the courage to invite you here. I had to. You’re a good man, I respect you. I couldn’t insult you with more lies and evasions. I couldn’t insult myself like that. Not again. It’s a question of trust.”

“I’m honored.” She looked up to see if he was making fun of her, and was touched when she saw that he wasn’t “And that makes four,” he announced.

“Four what?”

“You said there were five of you. You’ve just covered four. The heiress, the writer, the gossip columnist, and the tourist in SoHo. Who’s number five? I’m beginning to like this.” He smiled easily again, and stretched out his legs.

“So am I. And I am not a gossip columnist, by the way. It’s a ‘Society Editorial.’” She grinned primly.

“Forgive me, Mr. Hallam.”

“Indeed. The fifth me is your doing. ‘Kate.’ I’ve never told all this to anyone before. I think this marks the beginning of a new me.”

“Or the end of all the old ones. Don’t just tack another role onto the list, another game. Do it straight.”

“I am.” There was tenderness in her eyes as she watched him.

“I know you are, Kezia. And I’m glad. For both of us. No … for you.”

“You’ve given me a kind of freedom tonight, Luke. That’s a very special thing.”

“It is, but you’re wrong about my giving it to you. I told you before that no one can take your freedom from you… and no one can give it back either. You manage that one all by yourself. Keep it safe.” He leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head and then moved to whisper in her ear. “Which way’s your john?”

She laughed as she looked up into his face. He was such a beautiful man.

“The john’s down the hall to your left. You can’t miss it, it’s pink.”

“I’d be disappointed if it weren’t.” His laugh was a slow rumble as he disappeared down the hall, and she went back to the kitchen to see about their coffee. Three hours had passed.

“Still want that coffee, Luke?” He was back and stretching lazily in the kitchen doorway.

“Could I trade it in for a beer?”

“Sure could.”

“Terrific, and you can keep the glass clean, thanks. No class. No class at all. You know how it is with the peasants.” He pulled the tab off the can and took a long swallow. “Man, that tastes good.”

“It’s been a long night I’m sorry to have chewed your ear off like that, Luke.”

“No, you’re not, and neither am I.” They smiled at each other again, and she sipped at a glass of white wine.

“I’ll get you set up on the couch.” He nodded and took a long swig of beer, as she stepped easily under the arm he had propped in the doorway.

She had the couch made up as a bed in a matter of moments.

“That ought to keep you till morning. Do you need anything else before I trot off to bed?”

What he needed would have shocked her. She was crisp and matter-of-fact again now. The lady of the house. The Honorable Kezia Saint Martin.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do need something before you ‘trot off to bed.’ I need a glimpse of the woman I sat here and talked to all night. You’ve got a poker up your ass again, my love. It’s a lousy habit. I’m not going to hurt you, or rape you, or plunder your mind. I won’t even blackmail you.”

She looked surprised and a little hurt as she stood across the room. “I didn’t feel you had plundered my mind. I wanted to talk to you, Lucas.”

“So what’s different now?”

“I just wasn’t thinking.”

“So you closed up.”

“Habit, I guess.”

“And I told you, a lousy one. Aren’t we friends?”

She nodded at him, tears bright in her eyes again. It had been an emotional evening. “Of course we’re friends.”

“Good, because I think you’re very special.” He crossed the room in three long strides, and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, babe. Have a good sleep.” She stood on tiptoe and returned the kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks, and you too, Lucas. Sleep tight.”

He could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the darkened house, and there was no sound from her room. He had only been lying there for about ten minutes, and he was too keyed up to sleep. It felt as though they had talked for days, and he had been so afraid of frightening her away, of doing something to make her close the door again. That was why he was lying on the couch, and had settled for a kiss on the cheek. She was not a woman you could rush at—not unless you wanted to lose her before you began. But they had come a long way in one night. He was content merely with that. He ran over the hours of talking in his mind … the expressions on her face … the words … the tears … the way she reached out for his hand….

“Luke? Are you sleeping?” He had been so intent on his thoughts that he hadn’t heard her bare feet pad across the carpeted floor.

“No. I’m awake.” He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at her. She was wearing a soft pink nightgown and her hair fell loose past her shoulders. “Is anything wrong?”

“No, I can’t sleep.”

“Neither can I.”

She smiled and sat down on the floor near the couch. He didn’t know what to make of her reappearance. She was not always easy to read. Luke lit a cigarette and handed it to her. She took it, inhaled, and returned it.

“You did a nice thing for me tonight, Lucas.”

“What’s that?” He was lying down again, gazing up at the ceiling.

“You let me talk out a lot of things that have been bothering me for years. I needed that so badly.”

And that wasn’t all she needed, but the idea of dealing with that almost frightened him. He didn’t want to screw up her life; she had enough on her hands.

“Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“What was your wife like?” There was a long silence and she began to regret having asked him.

“Pretty, young, crazy, like me in those days … and afraid. She was afraid to go it alone. I don’t know, Kezia … she was a nice girl, I loved her … but it seems like a long time ago. I was different then. We did things, we never said things. It got all fucked up when I went to the joint. You have to be able to talk when something like that happens, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t even talk when our little girl was killed. I think that’s what killed her. It all knotted up inside her till she strangled on it and died. In a way she was dead before she committed suicide. Maybe like your mother.”

Kezia nodded, watching his face. He wore a faraway look, but his voice showed no emotion other than respect for the passing of time.

“What made you ask?”

“Curious, I guess. We talked a lot about me tonight.”

“We talked a lot about me yesterday in the interview. I’d say we’re even. Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

She nodded and he stubbed out the cigarette they had shared, as she stood up.

“Good night, Luke.”

“Night, babe. See you tomorrow.”

“Today.”

He grinned at her correction, and then swatted one long paw lazily in the direction of her bottom. “Back-talker. Get your ass to bed now, or you’ll be too tired to show me the town tomorrow.”

“Can you spend the day?”

“I plan to, unless you have something better to do.” He had never thought to ask her.

“Nope. I’m free as a bird. G’night, Lucas.” She turned quickly in a flurry of pink silk then, and he watched her go, wanting to reach out and stop her. And then it was out, before he could swallow the words.

“Kezia!” His voice was soft but urgent.

“Yes?” She turned with a look of surprise on her face.

“I love you.”

She stood very still, and neither of them moved. He lay twisted on the couch, watching her face. And she looked awed by his words.

“I … you’re very special to me, Luke. I …”

“Are you afraid?”

She nodded, lowering her eyes. “A little.”

“You don’t have to be, Kezia. I love you. I won’t hurt you. I’ve never known a woman like you.”

She wanted to tell him that she had never known a man like him, but somehow she couldn’t. She couldn’t say anything. She could only stand there, wishing for his arms, and not knowing how to find them.