Tara Sivec - Passion and Ponies

Her dream, her dream, her dream… I wish she would listen to herself.

“It’s not wrong, hon. I’m not going to lie about the fact that I love having Gavin here. I love it even more that working here has always been his dream. That’s just it, though. It’s what he’s always wanted to do,” Aunt Claire tells her.

My mom rolls her eyes and turns away from both of us, stalking to the other side of the room to angrily dig into a box of furry handcuffs. “Ava has no idea what she wants to do aside from shop. If she wants to quit, fine, but she better not ever come crying to me about how she made a mistake.”

She won’t even look at me now and she’s talking about me like I’m not standing right here. This went just as well as I imagined.

So much for taking Tyler’s advice.

I shrug out of Aunt Claire’s hold, grab my purse from the desk and leave before anyone can see me cry.

“Hey, Ava, I just posted on my wall that you quit. I already got one ‘like’!” Aunt Jenny shouts as I walk out the door.

“It doesn’t count if you just say you liked it,” Aunt Claire tells her with a sigh.

Screw everyone. I don’t need my mother’s approval and I certainly don’t need Tyler. I’ll be just fine on my own.

- Tyler -

I pace back and forth nervously outside of Liz’s office, waiting for her to finish her conference call. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret it.

Ava went back home to her parent’s house Christmas night and we haven’t spoken since. As much as I want to be pissed at her for the things she said, I can’t. The more I thought about it, the more I realized she was probably right. I was delusional for thinking my dad could be some famous Brony and that I would be able to pick him out in a room filled with thousands of people. I wanted it to be true so badly that I didn’t even stop to think about how far-fetched it sounds. I’m also in love with her and love makes you do asinine things.

After our fight in her parents’ backyard, we stayed on opposite sides of the room for the rest of the night. We spent the remainder of the evening celebrating the holiday and toasting Gavin and Charlotte on their engagement before I walked out of there without even a wave good-bye from her.

That was a week ago. I was determined to walk away from her and chalk it up to us just not being meant for each other, but I know it’s not true. Regardless of what I said to her, she’s the strongest person I know. She’s sweet and funny when she wants to be and I like being around her. No, fuck that. I love being around her. She gets my crazy fetishes even if she doesn’t want to and she puts up with my childish behavior. I’m not about to let her wallow in her own misery.

“Come on in, Tyler,” Liz shouts from inside the office.

I take a deep breath and walk through the doors, sitting down in one of the chairs on the other side of Liz’s desk.

“If you came in here to demand I tell you where our masturbation room is, I’m going to stop you right there,” she begins.

“Liz, one of these days you’re going to be honest with me. I know this room exists and, as an employee of Seduction and Snacks, I think it’s only right that you lead me to heaven.”

She puts her elbows on her desk and her head in her hands.

“Actually, I’m here on a more important matter,” I tell her.

She looks up and her eyes widen. “Wait, you actually want to talk about something other than the masturbation room that may or may not exist?”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. Ava better appreciate this shit because I’m pretty sure I can get Liz to crack.

“I want to talk to you about Ava.”

Liz sighs and leans back in her chair. “Well, good luck with that. I’m not too happy with Ava right now, so you’re on your own with that one.”

Gavin told me that Ava tried to talk to her mom the other day about quitting her job here and it turned into one big clusterfuck. I feel bad that I sort of pushed Ava into doing that and I want to make it right.

“Have you even looked at her blog lately?” I question her.

She picks up a pen and starts tapping it against her desk. “That jenky-looking thing she created on Wordpress with a couple of pictures of her in different outfits? Yes, I’ve seen it,” Liz states sarcastically.

“It’s not jenky anymore. She had Jenny create her a whole new site with graphics and it’s pretty awesome. Did you know she gets more hits on that thing every day than the Seduction and Snacks website? I checked.”

Liz stops tapping her pen and stares at me.

“She also has a shit ton of sponsors paying her for ads now. She’s making more money on that blog than she makes here. This is what she’s always wanted to do. Can you understand that?” I ask.

I hold my breath, waiting for her to vault over her desk and choke me out. Liz scares me just a little bit, but I need to keep going and say everything I came in here to say.

“Ava is smart and amazing and this blog she’s doing, it’s not just a hobby. It’s something she really cares about and loves. She’s been working her ass off on this blog. It’s real for her. This is what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She loves shoes and clothes and all that other girly shit. Seduction and Snacks isn’t her dream, it’s yours. Her dream is to talk about all that girly shit and she’s turned it into a good paying reality. She needs you to understand and to give her your approval. I’m sure not everyone was on-board with the whole sex-toy shop slash bakery when you and Claire dreamed it up. How would you feel if the most important person in your life belittled your dream?”

I stop and try not to wince as I brace for the explosion from Liz that I’m sure is imminent. Maybe I overstepped my bounds. Ava is her daughter and who the hell am I to tell her what to do?

Liz is quiet and still for so long that I’m a little worried I might have given her a heart attack. When she finally moves, it’s to brush a tear off of her cheek.

Awwwww shit, I made her cry. This can NOT end well for me.

“She hates working here. I always thought it was because she was just being stubborn,” Liz says quietly.

“Well, she is a stubborn ass, but that’s not it.”

Liz glares at me.

“I mean, she’s an amazing, beautiful, wonderful, stubborn girl.”

She leans forward and rests her elbows on her desk. “You’re in love with her.”

“WHAT? How do you know that? I just figured that out myself,” I tell her in shock.

“Tyler, you came in here and pretty much told me I’m an idiot even though you knew there was a possibility I would beat the shit out of you for doing it,” she explains. “If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

I smile at her. “See? I knew you’d totally understand how much of an idiot you’ve been.”

“I can still cut off your dick and make you eat it,” she states.

“Duly noted,” I nod. “It doesn’t matter, though, since I’m pretty sure she hates me.”

Liz shakes her head in disagreement. “Ava has spent every day since Christmas crying in her room. I don’t know what happened between you guys, but I’m pretty sure she’s in love with you, too.”

Ava’s been crying? Ava knows how to cry? I don’t even know how to process this information.

“I’m sure that has nothing to do with me. That’s all your fault for shitting on her dream,” I tell her.

“Don’t ruin the good thing we have going on here, Tyler. I have a letter opener within reach that I’m not afraid to use on your balls,” she threatens. “Even before we had our little fight the other day, she was a mess. I think she realized she’s in love with you and screwed up.”

Oh, God, please let her really be in love with me and I’ll never jerk off to another episode of MLP ever again. Maybe. Probably. Shit. I’ll try really hard.

“That fight was my fault. We got into it on Christmas and I sort of told her she was too scared to come out and tell you she doesn’t want to work here anymore.”

Liz lets out a low whistle. “Damn, and she didn’t punch you in the throat for that? She’s definitely in love with you if she let you get away with saying that to her.”

She stares down at her hands for a few minutes before looking up at me. “She really doesn’t want to work here?” Liz finally says with a sniffle.

I shrug. “No, she hates it here.”

Her lip quivers and part of me wants to get up, walk around the desk and hug her, but there was this whole thing with Gavin’s mom not that long ago where I sort of had the hots for her and that really didn’t end well and I can no longer even think about the word ‘cougar’ without throwing up in my mouth just a little bit. I don’t want Liz to get the wrong idea or anything.

I watch as Liz slides her laptop closer to her and starts clicking away on her keyboard. After a few seconds, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open.

“Oh, my God. This is her site? This thing is amazing,” she says in awe.

I quickly get up and lean across the desk. “Yep, see all those ads on the right side of the page? Those companies are all paying her money to advertise on her site. And they send her free shit all the time to try on and tell people about.”

Liz clicks through all of the pages and photos, making comments here and there. She stops when she gets to one picture and cocks her head to the side.

“Are you wearing a sparkly t-shirt, skinny jeans and black stilettos in this picture?” she asks.