Jacqueline Diamond - Paris or Bust!

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I can, believe me. The body is quite willing. I just…can’t.”

“I bought condoms,” Roxanne said. “Five different kinds.”

He shook his head. “That’s not it. This isn’t right, Rox.”

“Why? We both want each other. We’re both adults. And the kids are gone.”

“But what happens after this?”

“After?”

“Tomorrow. The next day. A month from now. Where is this leading?”

“Does it have to mean something? Can’t it just be about sex?”

His jaw went tight. “What do you want from me, Rox?”

“I don’t know,” she said, tears pressing at the corners of her eyes. Right now, she didn’t know anything at all! Except that he wasn’t touching her and he wasn’t kissing her and it had something to do with a stuffed penguin.

He got up and began gathering his clothes. “And that’s exactly why I shouldn’t be here.” As he walked to the door, he pulled his shirt over his head and stuffed the tails in his pants. He didn’t bother with his socks, just shoved them into his pants pocket and slipped his bare feet into his shoes.

“Don’t leave,” she said, grabbing her dress and clutching it to her chest. She scrambled to her feet, humiliated and confused.

“I have to,” Kit replied. “I’ve got to straighten out a few things.” He paused, then strode back across the room. In one quick movement, he furrowed his hand through her hair and pulled her into a deep, mind-numbing kiss. “I love you,” he murmured.

With that, Kit walked out, leaving Roxanne to stand amid the flickering candles, completely baffled by his behavior. And dumbstruck by his words. “He loves me,” she repeated as she fingered the string of pearls.

The problem was, she didn’t know if that was good news or bad.

KIT STOOD AT THE DOOR of his father’s condo, trying to figure out what he was going to say to Carl Lawrence once he knocked on the door. It was nearly ten o’clock, late for Carl who usually was in bed by nine and back at the station by 5:00 a.m. But this couldn’t wait. This was about Kit’s future and he wanted that future to begin tonight.

How had this all happened? A little more than a month ago, Kit had been a confirmed bachelor, enjoying all the perks that came along with a string of beautiful women-including sex without guilt. But the minute he met Roxanne, his life completely changed.

At first, he’d told himself that he sought her out so he could discern her motives. He’d rationalized his interest as an attempt to protect his father. But all along, he’d spent time with her because he couldn’t help himself. He was in love with Roxanne Perry.

He used to look upon “family men” with pity. They were always forced to divide their energy, between work and family. And what could be more tedious than coming home to the same woman every night, dealing with the same problems, listening to the same conversations. He’d just assumed that life wasn’t for him.

But it wasn’t like that at all. There was a real pleasure in coming home to Roxanne and her kids. He enjoyed the noisy dinners at the kitchen table and the quiet evenings snuggled up with her on the sofa. And the kids. He liked helping them put on their shoes and watching them brush their teeth. It balanced him, making him forget the stress of his business day. And it gave him perspective. Acquiring the next radio station or newspaper didn’t seem so important compared to the problems Danny was having with a bully at school.

Kit raked his fingers through his hair and tried to settle the chaos in his head. Loving Roxanne was a big responsibility. It wasn’t just the two of them. He would become a part of five lives. Was he really prepared to be a full-time father? Could he make Roxanne happy for the rest of her life?

Deep in his heart, he knew he could. But that didn’t stop the doubts from bubbling to the surface. And then there was the problem of his father. If Carl still had any feelings for Roxanne, he hadn’t made them obvious of late. But Kit needed to be absolutely sure before he and Roxanne went any further.

He reached out and knocked at the door. He wouldn’t know until he asked. A few moments later, the door swung open. “Hey, there. What are you doing here?” Carl asked.

Kit walked past him, then turned. “We have to talk.”

“Sit down. Do you want a drink? I think I have some scotch.”

Kit shook his head, ignoring the sofa for a space on the rug to pace. He thought better when he was moving. “Just tell me one thing. Do you love her?”

“Love who?” Carl asked.

“Are you in love with Roxanne Perry?”

“Are you still worried about that?”

“Answer the damn question. Do you have any romantic feelings for her at all?”

His father chuckled and shook his head slowly. “No. But I’d expect you do or you wouldn’t be here. You’ve been spending nearly every night with Roxanne for the past month. Even if some poor sap did have romantic feelings for her, you’ve been monopolizing her time. When she’s at the station, you’re always hanging around. Ernie the janitor saw you two coming out of his closet, and ever since then, it’s been pretty obvious.”

“How does that make you feel?” Kit asked.

“As if I was right all along. I knew she’d make a great wife…for you. So, have you asked her to marry you yet?”

Kit held out his hand. “Wait a second.” He paused, trying to read his father’s expression. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me you set this all up. You pretended to have a thing for her so I’d throw myself in between you two.”

“It got you off your ass and moving in the right direction, didn’t it? Protecting the family fortune from a greedy little gold digger. Well, you certainly changed your tune.”

“I thought you were in love with her!” Kit said.

“Did I ever say that?”

“Well…no, not directly. But you implied it. You were always talking about how wonderful she is.”

“I wasn’t trying to convince myself, I was trying to convince you.” Carl paused. “Kit, I loved your mother very much. And that feeling doesn’t go away. Not in a year, not in ten. I’ve been lucky in my life to have just one good woman to love me. That’s enough. I wanted that for you. And I thought maybe Roxanne might be able to provide it.”

“You set me up,” Kit repeated, unable to believe he’d been so gullible.

“I greased the gears a little,” Carl said. “I want grandchildren. Can you blame me?”

Kit slowly lowered himself to the sofa. “This is serious.” He groaned softly then buried his face in his hands. “Oh, hell. I walked out on her because I had to square things with you. She had this sexy dress on and all the candles lit. And now I find out, there’s nothing to square. We could have…”

“I don’t need to hear the details,” Carl said. “I assume you’re in love with her?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“And she loves you?”

“I don’t know. It’s all happened so fast. We’ve only known each other a month, but it doesn’t seem to matter. We just fit together. When I’m with her, I don’t need anything else. But I’ve never been in love before. How am I supposed to know if this is real? Or more to the point, if it will last?”

“You have to make it real,” Carl said. “Falling in love is the easy part. Keeping the relationship interesting takes a lot of work.” His father paused. “The moment I met your mother, I knew she was the one for me. She hadn’t even said word. I just saw her across the room and I told myself she was the one I was going to marry.”

“I can’t make a mistake on this, Dad. She has kids and they need a father. I can’t step into their lives and then step out again if it doesn’t work.”

Carl reached down and clapped Kit on the shoulder. “Well, you’re an adult now. You’ll need to make that decision for yourself.” He paused. “You know, this is going to mess everything up.”

“I just told you I’m in love with Roxanne. How will that mess everything up?”

“We’ve done all this promotion, positioning Roxanne Perry as a single mom and she’s captured the audience’s attention. Our afternoon ratings for the show have increased. If you decide to marry her and she accepts, her blossoming radio career might go right down the tubes.”

“Are you saying you’re more concerned about ratings than about your son’s happiness?”

Carl shook his head and smiled. “I know she makes you happy. And you certainly make her happy. I suppose I can deal with the ratings.”

“This job you gave her was part of the plan, too?”

“It was the only way to keep you two in the general vicinity of each other. And you have to admit, she’s good.”

“She is,” Kit admitted.

“So what are you going to do, Kit?”

“I don’t know. I’ve got to think about this for a while.”

“Well, don’t take too long,” Carl said. “I might just decide to steal her away from you.”

Kit glanced over at his father and smiled ruefully. “And I might decide to break both your arms.”

“COME ON, ROX. You have to put this behind you and move on. Aren’t you glad you found out before it was too late?” Renee gave Roxanne’s hands a sympathetic squeeze.

“Found out what? I’m not sure what happened. One minute we were rolling around on the floor half-naked and the next he was running out the door.” Roxanne swallowed hard. “And I don’t know if this means anything, but before he left, he told me that he loved me.”

“What?” Renee shouted.

“He said he loved me. At least, I think he did. I could have imagined it. Or maybe he said something else and I misunderstood.” Roxanne rubbed her temples, trying to calm her confusion.

“What could he have said that sounded like ‘I love you’?”

“I don’t know. Isle of doom? Eye glob do? I’ve been trying to come up with something all morning. If he really loved me, then why did he run out on the only chance we had to…you know.”