“I don't want to, Mother.” She spoke through clenched teeth, but they refused to understand.

“But you can't take care of yourself anymore. You'll be as helpless as a baby.” Her mother painted a picture that made Sam want to die.

“I won't! I won't, dammit… I'll kill myself first!” She was shrieking.

“Samantha! How dare you say such a thing!”

“I will if I want to, dammit. I will not be confined to this life, to the life of a cripple. And I don't want to be as helpless as a baby, living in Atlanta with my parents at the age of thirty-one. How could this have happened to me, dammit… it can't have happened, I won't let it happen.”

Her mother stood helplessly by as George put on his most professional bedside manner and attempted to soothe her but she just screamed louder, and her mother's eyes looked at her husband and implored him that they should go.

“Maybe we should come back and talk about this later…” They edged slowly toward the door. “You need some time to yourself, Samantha, to adjust… we have plenty of time to discuss it, we're not leaving until tomorrow, and the doctors don't think you'll be leaving here anyway until May or June.”

“What?” It was a final wail of pain.

“Samantha…” For an instant her mother looked as though she would approach her, and Sam could only snarl from the bed.

“Get out of here, for God's sake… please…” She began to sob uncontrollably. “Just go…” They did as she bid them, and suddenly she was alone in the empty room with the echo of their words. A nurse found her there half an hour later, sawing hopelessly at her wrists with the barely sharp edges of a plastic cup.

The damage she did was repaired with a few stitches, but the damage her mother and stepfather did took several months to heal.

28

“How's it going, kid?” Charlie shook the snow from his collar, took off his coat, and threw it on a chair. There was even snow in his beard and in his hair. “So?” He looked at her expectantly, and she shrugged.

“What do you expect? For me to sit in my chair wearing a pink tutu and do an arabesque for you when you walk in?”