Devon Hartford - Painless

Now my dream had come true. I could say it as loud as I wanted, except I could barely speak.

Christos slid the ring onto my finger. I couldn’t tell whose hands were shaking more, his or mine.

It didn’t matter.

Christos and I were now and always forever.

Forever.

LOVE.

SAMANTHA

“Are you nervous?” Kamiko asked.

“I’m okay,” I said, fanning my face. It was a bit warm inside the hotel room at The Lodge at Torrey Pines, despite the perfect seventy-five degree weather outside. I think it was partially my nerves. Or maybe the fact the room cost $600 a night. I guess you paid extra for the doormen wearing kilts. Yes, kilts, because they had a golf course. But it wasn’t cheesy at all. The grounds were so incredibly lush, and the hotel had such a rustic, romantic charm, I had instantly loved the place when Christos and I had visited here in June.

“How can you be nervous?” Romeo asked. “It’s your wedding day. After today, you’ll be able to fuck Christos without having to wear a scarlet A on your chest.”

“Romeo!” Kamiko groused.

“What? It’s technically adultery if you’re not married.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “What century are you living in?”

“The seventeenth?” he smiled.

“That’s what I thought,” I giggled.

“I’ll turn up the A/C,” Madison said. I was so glad she and Jake were able to fly back from surfing in Hawaii to join us for the wedding. I’d never seen Madison so tan. She was practically dark brown.

“Can you just open the sliding glass door?” I asked. “I think it’ll be quicker to get a breeze in here.”

She did, and cool air drifted inside. I felt immediate relief. I loved the smell of the fresh ocean air. At least my wedding gown was off the shoulder, so I had ventilation. I just hoped I didn’t sweat my makeup off. “Who thought of this whole thing where the groom can’t see the bride before the ceremony? I swear, I’m going to melt by the time I see Christos.”

Madison and Kamiko wore matching pale lavender bridesmaid dresses. It was a high-low pleated maxi design with a thin belt around the waist, perfect for the warm weather. I wanted my girlfriends to look as sexy as me. I didn’t go in for all that business about being the star of my wedding. They were important too.

“Are we ready?” I asked.

Madison and Kamiko nodded.

“Now I’m nervous,” Romeo said. He wore a matching pale lavender tuxedo.

“I can’t believe you insisted Sam make you a bridesmaid, Romeo,” Kamiko grinned.

“He’s totally one of the girls,” I joked.

We made our way out of the hotel room, and down to the Arroyo Terrace behind the hotel. It overlooked the croquet lawn behind the eighteenth hole of the golf course. Blue skies and lush green lawns surrounded us. The ocean kissed the sky in a peaceful white line on the western horizon.

“How’s my makeup?” I asked desperately.

Madison, Romeo, and Kamiko looked at me and smiled.

“You look perfect,” Madison said.

“Can I do you before you say I do to Christos?” Romeo asked. “Then you won’t be cheating on him.”

“Enough!” I said. “Let’s go.”

Rows of white chairs were set up on the lawn and filled with people. Most of them were friends of the Manos family. My friends were right beside me.

A carpet of white rose petals were arranged leading up to the lavender wedding arch. The petals were in a curling design that incorporated the green of the grass. The grass showed through in curving cutouts.

The music playing quietly outside transitioned into Here Comes The Bride. Some people thought it was cheesy, but to me it was a mandatory classic.

My dad stepped up to me, wearing a navy suit. He looked more handsome than I usually gave him credit for.

“Samantha,” he smiled, offering his elbow.

“Hey, Dad.”

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined he would want to be here. I’d expected him to protest and argue and tell me I was an idiot for getting married so young and before I finished my degree. But he hadn’t. He just wanted to be with his daughter on her wedding day. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

I blinked back tears. There was no way my makeup was going to make it through the ceremony unscathed.

We marched toward the altar, where Christos awaited. I kept my eyes on the prize because I was so nervous. Out the corner of my eyes, I noticed all the smiling faces staring at me from the crowd.

As my dad and I neared the final row, I glanced to the right. Sitting on the aisle in the front row was my mom.

It had been a huge shock when my dad had told me that Mom had moved back in with him. They were working things out. She was very apologetic to him, according to my dad, and very apologetic to me as well.

Oddly, over the summer I had discovered that I was forging individual relationships with each of my parents. They had both started treating me like an adult, but in their own way. I kinda liked it. It was like we had become equals. I realized my parents were now trusting me to take care of myself.

That really blew me away.

I couldn’t believe it.

But it was true.

My mom smiled at me from where she sat. She was crying. Maybe she wasn’t so bad, after all. I smiled at her briefly before locking my eyes on Christos.

Jake stood beside him in a real tuxedo for once. Beside Jake were Nikolos and Spiridon, also in black tuxes. They all grinned at me.

But I couldn’t tear my eyes off Christos. He was so unbelievably handsome. Even with his muscles and tattoos covered up by his tux, he was gorgeous. The hottest guy on the planet. His sapphire eyes shone into mine like love beacons. His dimpled grin came out and blazed brighter than the sun.

My god, he was the perfect specimen of manliness.

My dad kissed my cheek before I stepped up to the altar. Christos took my hand and we faced the Justice of the Peace.

After we exchanged vows, which I barely remembered doing, we did the candle lighting ceremony. Christos and I used our two candles to light the one in the center, before blowing our individual candles out.

Two became one.

Forever.

I flashed on a memory of the one remaining candle that had been burning the morning after my and Christos’ pre-Valentine’s celebration in his bedroom. The rose petals, the candles, and the See’s chocolates. Too bad it had been the day before his criminal trial. I had believed that morning I might lose him to prison for years. Maybe forever. I had believed that one remaining candle had been an ill omen meaning I would soon be on my own. How wrong I had been. Now I realized that one candle had symbolized our oneness even then. Silly girl. Why had I been so worried?

When the Justice of the Peace pronounced us husband and wife, Christos leaned over to kiss me.

Yes, despite all the kissing and sex we’d had, it was the most magical kiss of my entire life.

The whole crowd applauded and cheered. But Madison cheered louder than anybody. Well, Romeo was pretty damn loud, but Madison gave him a run for his money.

While everyone cheered, Christos muttered in my ear, “Now will you take your half of the money for the LOVE portrait? And my portrait of you as the fiery angel? It’s only about a million bucks after Brandon’s cut.”

My eyes popped wide open. How could I argue with that? Well, I could. A little. “Do I have to?” I smiled.

“You’re my wife. It’s fifty-fifty from here on out. What’s mine is yours. And you’re rich.”

“In that case…” I grinned as we kissed gently again, “how can I say no?”

The reception was held inside the beautiful dining room inside The Lodge. Kamiko had brought a date. Dillon McKenna, the Adventure Time storyboard artist. They were entirely cartoon cute together.

Romeo, to all of our surprises, had brought Justin Tomlinson, Mr. Boy Band editor of The Wombat. I couldn’t tell how serious they were. I was sure I’d find out.

We had hired an awesome wedding DJ named Graham Gold who got everyone up and dancing after dinner. He was totally worth the extra cash we spent on him. He wasn’t just a DJ, he was an entertainer. The perfect choice.

During the bouquet throwing ceremony, I think Justin Tomlinson was as shocked as everybody else that Romeo caught my bouquet.

Throughout the reception, everything continued to blur by. I did my best to talk to everyone. I hoped I didn’t forget to say hello to anyone important. I said hello to Brandon, who was there, and Russell Merriweather. But I’d never met many of the people in attendance. I hoped they didn’t mind I forgot their names seconds after being introduced.

At one point, Christos and I were standing by the wedding cake, talking to Nikolos.

“I wanted to explain my wedding present, before you two go on your honeymoon,” Nikolos said.

“You don’t have to do that, Bampás,” Christos said. “Whatever it is, it’ll be fine.”

“I agree,” I said. “You being here is more than enough.”

Nikolos nodded. “You are so young and innocent, Samoula,” he smiled. “But sometimes, marriage can be difficult. That’s why I wanted to explain my gift.”

“Did you buy us marriage counseling sessions or something?” Christos joked.

“No, I bought your LOVE portrait. The one of you and Samoula.”

“What?” Christos and I both gasped.

“I made a special arrangement with Brandon. It wasn’t a commission sale for him. We just did that so you wouldn’t ask any questions. All of the money is going to the two of you. All $500,000.”